Posts Tagged ‘porn star’

Female Athletes: Sex-Icons In The Making?

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

Sex sells. An old adage, yet true: sex is used to sell everything from beer to cars, and traditionally, waif-like models have been used to do it. Athletes have been increasingly sexualized however, and the 21st century has seen a rise in the number of muscled midriffs in popular culture. After all, what’s hotter than fucking a skinny model? Fucking a tight, toned and primed athlete that will rock your bed like porn star on steroids – that’s what. So let’s take a look at 4 of the hottest athletes in the world today.

Amanda Beard:

Beard

A world class swimmer and Olympic Gold Medalist, Beard set the bar high by medalling in three consecutive Olympic Games. Moreover, she put her porn worthy body on display in Playboy, setting a precedent for other athletes trying to match her celebrity.


Lindsay Vonn
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lindsey-vonn

Lindsay Vonn was lauded as America’s Winter Olympic answer to Michael Phelps in early 2010, and while she didn’t quite live up to that mantle, she did bring home a gold medal. Not only that, but she sparked jealousy in teammates and opponents alike by showing off her tight body in an alluring Sports Illustrated Swimsuit spread to coincide with the games. It’s worth finding too, especially to see her voluptuously muscled ass in action.


Alison Stokke
:

Stokke

While Stokke’s athletic pedigree pales in comparison on her beauty, it’s her muscular body that has everyone talking. That and the fact that she’s a pole-vaulter – prompting otherwise respectable journalists to lose their shit and crack: she could vault my pole any time. Amen!


Anna Kournikova
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Kournikova

These days, Kournikova is more celebrity than athlete, but she makes our list for that very reason. Anna is a modern prototype : a failed athlete who has exploited her sex appeal in Hollywood. While she’s been in a relationship with Enrique Iglesias for nearly a decade, he’s bound to come out of the closet at some point. Until then, we’ll be waiting for Anna with baited breath.

Jurrasic Jocked: Grow Your Manhood Like A Porn Star

Sunday, October 24th, 2010

If there’s one thing the average man would change about himself if he could, it would be the size of his manhood. Johnson, cock, skin-flute, easy rider, clam digger, one-eyed monster, bald avenger, middle leg, Pope John Pole 3 – no matter the name, the average length of a man’s rod is 6 inches when fully erect – hardly the size of Lexington Steele. So how can the average man look, and fuck, more like a porn star?

First off, it’s a myth that you can’t increase the size of your penis. When starting out, keep in mind that illusion is part of the process – it’s how much bigger the girl you’re fucking THINKS your penis is that counts. Fancy yourself David Blaine – after all, once you’re inside her, size doesn’t matter anymore and getting off does. So here are a few tips that will help you score, and keep your girl coming back for more.

Stay trimmed: If you don’t do this, for God’s sake get started. Trimmed public hair isn’t just for the ladies anymore, and now that the metrosexual craze is in full swing, it’s an accepted part of the male grooming ritual. If you’re hesitant, think of the advantages – trimming the hair away from the base of your cock will make it look substantially bigger and let your lady get a full view of King Dong. Really, you haven’t done anything, and you’re already bigger.

Cock rings: A cock ring can be a great way to thicken your rod – put it on when you’re hard to constrict the blood flow in your dick and you’ll start to look like a can of Pepsi. While your girl may see you slip it on – we’ve found most women don’t care, and go gaga for your girth. If you’re worried about your lady finding out, try a clear ring on for size – it will camouflage nicely.

Get your potential lay drunk: If our first two surefire cock enhancement methods fail, you can always just get your girl drunk. Beer goggles have been getting men pussy for centuries – even the short penised losers who bred to make anyone reading this article a reality! So, stay strong our poorly endowed friends – onwards and upwards (naturally)!

Tips On How To Become A Porn Star

Friday, October 15th, 2010

Ever dreamed of becoming a porn star? Before you get too excited, don’t think that it’s all about taking off your clothes and doing it doggy-style (and anal, and oral, and cowgirl etc.) for ten hours. Here required traits for those interested in getting into the adult industry. Warning: it’s not for the faint of heart.

1. Look Realistic – Gone are the days when porn stars resembled second-class drag queens. What porn-aficionados want, are girls that look real. Like the girl-next-door they dream of fucking. While implants are certainly acceptable – after all, this is still porn we’re talking about – anything over a D cup can start to look scary.

2. Adequate Tits – While on the subjects of racks, a good pairs of tits is absolutely mandatory. While size doesn’t matter too much, appropriate nipples are a must. Pancake nipps on an A cup? No thanks.

3. No Fear – The bottom line is this: if anal is a no-no in your book, forget about porn. In the adult entertainment industry, experimentation is everything. Start to draw lines over what you can and cannot do and you’ll soon be out of a job. The more you do, the more money you make.

4. Must Enjoy Sex – What good is a job in porn if you don’t like sex? If the idea of multiple orgasms makes your cringe, then perhaps you’d be better suited as a librarian. Just a thought.

5. Be Street Smart - Having a career in porn comes with a hefty does of side-effects. One of them being the constant harassment by “fans” and having to deal with shady producers that may not have your best-interests at heart. Knowing how to pick these people apart and watch your own back is probably one of your best tools towards succeeding in the industry.

6. Keep Yourself Sane – Walking down the wrong path can be quite easy in the world of porn. Between the drugs and wild sex, you run the risk of being a hop and a skip away from ending up in rehab. Or like a total hot mess.

Oct. 14 - Tips On How To Become A Porn Star

Top 5 Tips for Releasing the Death Grip

Friday, October 1st, 2010

Firm grip masturbation can often lead to a lack of enjoyment with sex and blow jobs. Many men have misguidedly grown accustomed to a firm grip when jerking off, leaving a high bar for any partner to reach with her mouth, hand and pussy. You may feel like you just don’t enjoy oral sex or hand jobs; after all, no one’s ever done it as well as you. If you are willing to put effort into easing up on the squeeze, this should be manageable for you. If you’ve got a willing partner you can communicate well with, you’re laughing.

What may be required going forward is to take a hands-free approach until you are able to resolve this. You need to work on retraining this poor, battered cock of yours. Here are a few tips:

1) No more hard firm grip, go cold turkey. This is going to take some discipline, but with help from your partner it should be manageable.

2) Use a gentle grip for the same amount of time it would normally take to come, and even if you don’t come, stop.

3) If you have a partner, show and tell her what you like. You can ask her to use more pressure as you wean yourself off of your grip and onto hers. Use this sparingly if you can, as you still want to be able to take care of yourself without resorting to old bad habits.

4) Use clear direction and regular progress reports. This allows you to make sure you keep her in the loop, as well as learning verbalize what you want.

5) Don’t feel badly. Understand this is reciprocal as well. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation and only 25% of us can climax with vaginal intercourse alone. Take your time and be patient.

Think of how good you feel when you get someone else off, and how much better she will feel when she, too, has that power; especially where so many women before her have failed. Then you’ll be busting a nut like a porn star!

The Kama Sutra Abridged: A Lazy Man’s Bible To Sex

Monday, September 20th, 2010

With all the performance pressure placed on men in North America it’s easy to get carried away during sex. The Reverse Spoon, The Lap-Dancing Cowgirl, The Butterfly Effect – after a while it feels like like you’re dodging bullets in The Matrix. Let’s face it, the average man is no Keanu Reeves – hell most of you reading this aren’t even a poor-man’s Mickey Rourke. So listen up: here are a few of the lazy man’s essential sexual positions (ie. positions you don’t have to be a porn star to pull off).

The Nocturnal Emission: Also known as a wet dream, The Nocturnal Emission is the sexual scenario of choice for obese cowboys and rodeo clowns. Of course, it’s not limited to those demographics, however a quick cross section will reveal that most obese cowboys do in fact prefer The Nocturnal Emission over say, The Splitter.

The Failed Push-Up: This position is similar to the missionary position, only it involves less thrusting. After all, once you’ve failed at an initial push-up, why attempt another? Just let your penis rest in your lady’s bucket of luke warm juice and wiggle a little. It counts as fucking and helps preserve calories.

The Lazy Dog: Similar to doggy style, this position is also known as Hide the Bone. If you’re feeling like a dingo, but not quite as rabid, you might want to try this out by sitting on top of your sexy skank and sticking your cock in just for a howl. Woof!

Jarred from Subway’s Special Sauce Surprise: Naturally, we saved the best for last. The beauty of The JFSSSS is that it doesn’t require much participation – just beat off until you’re ready and deposit a load of salty semen on your consenting lady’s lips. Hell, if you’re lucky, she may not even wake up!

The Ins and Outs of Dating in the Sex Industry

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

So you want to date within the sex industry. A risky proposition to be sure, but there are benefits. The first thing you need to keep in mind is that you need to set a goal. What do you hope to achieve by dating a stripper or porn star? A few nights out with a hottie on your arm? Sex? True Love?

Once you’ve determined what you want out of the relationship, take a look at our dos and don’t of dating a certified whore. If you don’t follow these points, you could be in for a world of hurt.

DO remember that you’re not special. This girl has 100′s of men to choose from per day, and it’s her job to make you feel like you’re the only man she’s interested in. So bear in mind that she’s playing the odds with you – but that you probably don’t have what it takes to keep up with her.

DON’T call her without announcing your name. Strippers and porn stars have cell phones full of men’s names and numbers, so remember to remind her of who you are, unless you like being embarrassed.

DO carry a lot of cash on you at all times. The sex industry is rich, and if you’re not willing to shell out, you’re dating the wrong kind of girl. In fact, it will probably take you a few dates before she fucks you, and you can expect those dates to cost you more than just renting a hooker.

DON’T ask her about her tattoos and fake tits unless you want to look like a wannabe, or worse yet, another one of her customers.

DO remember to confiscate the battery to her cell phone at some point during the evenings you’re out with her, or it will ring off the hook with other men who are interested in the exact same thing as you are. You don’t want to run the risk that one of them makes her a better offer before you’re finished your date.

DON’T go see her at work unless you have to. It’s best to avoid watching your girl taking off her clothes for other men – unless that’s something you’re into.

If you’ve come though these dos and don’ts undaunted, there may be hope for your love life with a sex worker yet. Remember though, unless you love competition, a normal girl is probably the way to go – as long as she likes it in the ass on a consistent basis.

Mark Wahlberg Working on Movie about Porn Industry

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Could it be possible? Please let it be true, NOT…..well partially true! It looks like the pant dropping stud that is Mark Wahlberg, is trailing back to his Boogie Nights days as inspiration for his next project. In the 1997 film Mark was portrayed as a male prostitute and porn star who worked and lived during the ‘golden era’ of adult film in the seventies and eighties. Flash forward thirteen years where Wahlberg is currently working on a new movie, that will portray the behind the scenes look at the porn industry in Los Angels. The movie will be based in LA and focus on a porn company that’s trying to make a name for itself, while competing with other top porn websites. The project has yet to be confirmed as a film or drama series, and is still in the early writing stages but the buzz is out, and people are excited to see what Marky Mark will come up with.

Wahlberg, who created the television series Entourage based on his real life as an actor living in Hollywood, is not new to working behind the scenes as director and producer. In fact, he has teamed up with Entourage’s executive producer Steve Levinson to work with his porn inspired movie, distributed by HBO. This should be interesting, maybe Mark will make a cameo and flash us his Dirk Diggler cock! James Frey, a writer for the soon to be flick was asked about the project, saying: “We’re going to make a sprawling epic about the porn business in LA. We’re going to get all the types of stories no one else has told before, and go places no one has gone before.” I’ll be looking forward to the “release”!

The Sybian: Sexual Lie Detector

Thursday, August 12th, 2010

We all know the age old excuses for getting out of sex: I’m tired, not in the mood, just had sex with your best friend. Ok, scratch that last one. However, if you’re like us, you’ve heard the former excuses from your girlfriend at the time and wondered if she’s actually telling the truth or if she’s just a lazy whore who needs a better fucking than you’re capable of giving her. This might sound a little paranoid, but ask yourself: when did the excuses start? They certainly weren’t present at the beginning of your relationship when your girl was riding you like a porn star on E and Redbull.

With this in mind, we’ve developed a fool proof sexual lie detector – the Sybian. Just strip down your sexy little slut, sit her pussy-first on the Sybian and let it work it’s magic. It’s always best if you crank it up to high (also known as 50 cc leaf blower intensity) to get an accurate result. Here’s a guide to what her reactions mean.

#1 Your girlfriend falls off.

This almost never happens. However, if it does, your girl is telling the truth – she just isn’t in the mood. This is a free pass, and you might not want to try the Sybian with her again – only frigid fannies don’t heat up when they’re riding in style!

#2 Your girlfriend moves in time with the Sybian and starts whinnying.

This option is tricky. Either your girlfriend is a horse, or she’s liking the Sybian. The latter would make her a lying bitch, and we recommend dumping her. To add insult to injury you might want to hit on her sister first, or at least her mom.

#3 Your girlfriend starts grabbing her tits and moaning, begging you to fuck her.

Well, your girlfriend is a liar, but who really cares? We say hop on the Sybian and start riding with her – your girl needs it bad and who are you to deny her? Case dismissed!

Steve Driver is No Longer on the Loose

Monday, June 7th, 2010

The biggest news to hit porn since the Wonderland murders came to an end this last Saturday when Stephen Hill, aka Steve Driver lept to his death after an 8 hour police stand-off.

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Bree Olson Gets Some Mainstream Cred

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

Of course that’s what everyone wants! No porn star is going to pass up on the opportunity to pursue a more virtuous path. To be up there with legendary Traci Lords, the queen herself, and more recently Sasha Grey is a dream that all probably have, but only a tiny fraction ever taste.

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