Believe it or not, back in the day there was no such thing as free porn online! Could you imagine!

So, people had to really use their imaginations when they wanted to masturbate.

Here is a look at a few different things people masturbated to before online porn existed:

Softcore porn on Cable:

If you were lucky enough to have cable, late night on Saturdays there was always a movie on Showtime that was somewhat softcore porn. You saw some steamy romp sessions and even boobs, but it’s nothing compared to what you can find today.

The Sims:

Computer geeks know exactly what I’m talking about! You could make your character have sex and then in return, you would masturbate to your Sims character having sex. SMH!

The Sears Catalogue:

Straight to the lingerie section and you can see chicks in bras, panties, and girdles! SEXY!

Romance Novels:

You can find them at your grandmother’s night table, or for 10 cents at the yard sale down the street. You might be scraping the bottom of the barrel here but don’t knock it until you try it. Fabio making love to a damsel in distress on the beach can sometimes do the trick.

Playboy:

There was a Playboy stash in every home, you just had to know where to find it. And once you found it, you were able to jerk off like mad to those 70’s bushes.

I know it doesn’t seem like much, but there was no other choice. Take a minute and realize how lucky you are to be able to get porn at your fingertips. Think about masturbating to pictures of Fabio in a romance novel, and realize you’ve got it made in the shade.

The change will mean Free Porn sites like Orgasm.com can now buy Orgasm.xxx. They are not forced to, nor do they have to give up their old domain if they do. However if they don’t, it will allow another company to pick up the name and create an impostor website.

The majority of the Adult Entertainment Industry is against the formation of the Triple X domain because they are worried it will force the adult industry into a corner, if Porn websites are forced to use the .XXX, they are afraid it will fence them off to the rest of the internet. Such a move would only impact legal Adult Video sites as illegal sites don’t follow any rules anyway, and also give people the false idea of security.

On the other hand, some of the public believe it will make Sex Videos more accessible, but even Communications Minister Stephen Conroy has been quoted saying the idea stems from a “lack of identified public benefit”. Certain governments such as India’s and Indonesia’s have come out to say they will block all .XXX domain names. The oppression of the internet in the Middle East and Asia has already made millions of people pour into the streets to rebel against their governments over the last few months.

The truth is the biggest benefit will come to ICM Registry, who will make a fortune selling .XXX to existing porn sites to ensure someone else won’t snatch it up.

Wither you believe this will help or hurt the billion dollar Porn industry, it will not effect the amount of money that will change hands over the new development, a small boom within the Adult Industry.

ICM Registry claims to be “a not-for-profit public-benefit corporation with participants from all over the world dedicating to keeping the Internet secure, stable and interoperable. It promotes competition and develops policy on the Internet’s unique identifiers” and has 230,000+ domain’s in reserve.

By attempting to control what their employees consume in their private lives by banning porn in hotel rooms, Winona County is opening up an old debate. Unfortunately, they aren’t sticking to the rules either, claiming that porn leads to sexual assaults despite evidence to the contrary. Pornography, a medium enjoyed by nearly every citizen in America, has never been linked to negative activities in viewers. In fact, many studies show that porn enhances the sex lives of its viewers, and many types of porn are used therapeutically in patients with erectile dysfunction.

This is simply another instance of political propaganda taken too far. Thank God for the internet, where free porn is prevalent and the citizens of America won’t be persecuted for enjoying a goof fuck or fisting to help them relax after work. Hell, the citizens of Winona County are clearly in need of online porn to cheer them up in light of this latest ban. Let’s hope they bring their laptops to hotel rooms around the country so they can enjoy top quality adult entertainment on sites like orgasm.com.

Technically this isn’t a gossip site, but really it should be. Only because I want it to. I mean, I can write all day about Orgasm.com and our thousands of free internet porn clips and I will. But come on! A little bit o’ gossip just makes the world a much more tolerable place. Cuz you get to dish on people who do not share in your mostly mundane, normal kinda life. And that, in most cases, is pretty juicy.

This is just a precursor of what’s to come. Tiger? Check. Jesse? Check. Now get ready to arm your sub-conscious and late night TV viewing with Larry King; talk show host and cheater extraordinaire.

He’s accused of cheating on his hot wife with a relative! Don’t believe me? Just look at the ENTIRE front page of TMZ.

Well done Larry. I await news on the sex tape…and inevitable Steven Hirsch / Vivid offer.

To be clear, this is a bill to prevent state employees from spending state funds at hotels or meeting rooms, in the state, that offer guests adult videos that are deemed too violent. But the language of the legislation, which was introduced in February, is somewhat vague on whether it refers to porn that is purchased by the guest or free porn provided as a selling point. It also doesn’t address what constitutes restricted content.

Of course! Because isn’t that at least one thing we’ve learned over the years? What is deemed offensive by one could very easily be considered light, or even stimulating by another. Pornography is subjective. Hell, the effect of curse words is subjective.

“State employees, constitutional officers, and members of the legislature may not use public funds to pay for the cost of lodging, training, meeting, or any other use of a facility that makes pornographic images or performances available to its patrons,” reads S.F. No. 2861. “This section does not apply when a compliant facility is not reasonably available and a written explanation of that circumstance is maintained with the record of payment. For the purposes of this section, ‘pornographic image or performance’ means a sexually explicit image or performance that objectifies or exploits its subjects by eroticizing domination, degradation, or violence.” Sounds like my weekends.

But since most hotels rely on these kinds of guests to stay in business…think about it, unless it’s strictly a pay-by-the-hour type establishment, hotels don’t really have the built in clientele of, say, a coffee shop…this means the entire industry is affected.

The bill does not determine exactly how films will be categorized, or by whom, or whether funds will be set aside to hire people to screen each adult video available in hotels throughout the state. I’d be perfectly happy to throw my hat into the ring should such a job become available, however. Probably wouldn’t be a whole lot different from the porn pushing I do around here at Orgasm.com.

The state’s Department of Administration would maintain a directory of approved facilities to help employees plan travel. If passed, the law would go into effect July 1, 2010.

Today…hotel porn. Tomorrow…your ability to think for yourself.

PORN DIRECTOR

Enter into the world of the adult film maker (who honestly hasn’t had that dream?) and everything needed to successfully create a brilliant porn clip is at your disposal. Really, the only thing you don’t have to worry about are the budget concerns. So yes, we included everything fun and left out the headache. The whole idea behind this feature was to give you, the high brow porn enthusiast, a much more interactive experience in your voyeurism. We all like to watch, but how about a little control over what it is you’re actually watching?

You start with two girls. First you choose your aggressor. The girl you want to see give it, while the other helplessly complies. Then you pick your toy: Dildo? Strap-on? Vibroflex…or flogger? Anything you want to see used and abused in a assortment of ways. (I won’t go into that scary looking “Beastiality” choice, that’s up to you pervy). After picking an action, which includes a variety of positions, you have the option of placing your masterpiece onto a background of your choice. That way, if you have a favorite combination, every background can bring it a new look and feel. So try them all!

After this is completed you have the distinct pleasure of making a decision that sets your adult film apart from every one before it. A well known cliché in the porn world is its traditional and much lauded “bow-chicka-wow-wow” music. But now you have the opportunity to score your vision any way you see fit. Select a style the best suits you and your porn.

The end result is a hot girl-on-girl fuckfest thats full of everything you like to see and hear, because you made it.

PORN DIRECTOR is awesome because no one else has ever really attempted to do anything like it. Not on the porno-nets at least. And it’s become our way of standing out from a vast sea of free-porn choices. You already know that we serve them up the best but now you can be a part of the action, and try something unique.

The process of creating PORN DIRECTOR was a blast. We shot the girls against a giant green screen background (much in the same way most effects-heavy movies are made) and threw around ideas as we came up with them. Don’t get me wrong…there was all sorts of hot girl-on-girl action going on that we were lucky enough to see front and center, but sometimes we’d come up with the craziest shit and watch the girls try it out. Sometimes it worked…and sometimes it didn’t. I think a lot of it was just to get our pervy selves off, storing up material for later. My favorite moment was probably when Angie had a “wardrobe malfunction” and I was called to help her into her outfit. “Apply” her outfit was more like like it. And I did get to be “lube boy” on more than one occasion.

Give it a spin. See what you think. I won’t make any promises but there may be some more original PORN DIRECTOR material in the future. New girls…new toys…new choices. And You’ll be the first to know.

I understand that Hollywood, and by Hollywood I’m referring to the royal “concept” of Hollywood, rather than the longitude and latitude of it’s borders, is all about self preservation. At its very core it is nothing more than a self perpetuating tool for fame, money, arranged marriages and drug overdoses. But every now and then there comes a situation that makes you think to yourself, “this is going to be different. This is going to bring back hope and faith in what is otherwise a city full of idiots and fame hungry zealots. Today…I am going to be pleasantly surprised.”

Well so much for that…

Jay Leno is a cunt. A big, fat, sloppy, hairy cunt of monsterous proportions. He and his shiny gold pussy lie to the public as he mocks the situation in his monologues, joke after joke that attempt to place him high up on the victim tree, only to grab Conan by the back of his wavy ginger locks and fuck him in the ass on the very desk he so gracefully stepped away from.

I’ll admit that this is a rather passionate reaction from someone who normally talks about internet porn, the adult film industry, porn stars and getting laid. But I’m only human. And regardless of how awesome tits and ass are, this is where my head is at, and dammit someone needs to do something about it.

I commend the wildly talented Conan O’Brien for his respect to the franchise, saying that if The Tonight Show were moved to the 12:05 slot (thus making it no longer ‘Tonight’), he would not take part in the program. His is a love for tradition, integrity and devotion for the people involved before him. That is class, my friends.

Leno, and his chin worthy of a thousand resting balls (you had to know there was a chin joke coming), is a slave to the mighty dollar, a whore to self indulgent Hollywood, and a bitch to the legacy of stardom. I would love to scream boycott but I honestly feel it will happen on its own. One day soon, NBC will look at their Conan-free Tonight Show and realize that their numbers are worse, their elderly contingency has returned, and that they GASP! were wrong. Until then I’ll stay tuned to TMZ, not NBC, for any true sense of entertainment.

Now that that’s off my chest I’m going to go back to playing quarters off the tits of my naked office assistant.