Produced by Wicked Pictures, directed by Brad Armstrong, and starring Nadya Suleman (as coached by porn star Jessica Drake) “Octomom: Home Alone” will likely be Octomom’s magnum opus. We can only hope it’ll be her last foray into the porn industry.

After all, she already posed topless back in March. More recently she’s been working on her masturbation porno.

Of course, now that it’s released, Octomom’s been a busy little bee promoting it. In fact, she made a bit of a splash recently on Howard Stern’s show. She even rode the sybian. This is, of course, the true mark of a porn star. Octomom, now in the ranks of such great women as Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, and Bree Olson.

Let’s all just look at Jessica Drake now. Mmmkay, better.

Accounts say that Brad Armstrong and porn star girlfriend Jessica Drake helped Octomom get in the mood by showing her some porn. She clearly enjoyed it.

Octomom then tried on a variety of different outfits and, reportedly, got some great advice from Jessica Drake. Speaking of the shoot, Nadya said, “I owe a lot to Wicked Pictures contract star Jessica Drake; she opened my eyes to a whole different world of self-pleasure that I could have never imagined.”

Of course, the shoot comes just days after Nadya filed for bankruptcy who says that “the only dream I have is to buy a safe home for my family” when asked about plans for the money.

EDIT: We’re really sorry we made you look at all those pictures of Octomom. Here, have a look at Jessica Drake instead. You’ve earned it. Feel free to forget all about Octomom from now on. That is, until the next trainwreck.

When Conan O’brien joked about finding a job within the porn industry, Steven was there. When John Mayer ruminated about what his life long dream really was…Steven obliged. And now with word that Nadya Suleman, the piece of work known as “Octo-Mom,” can’t seem to raise her star-status head and shoulders above Kate Gosselin, here comes Steven to the rescue again!

Last week it was reported that Octo has never paid for her house. You know, every now and again i will get a phone call from, say, my car insurance company telling me “hey you kinda forgot to send us your insurance payment.” BUT THAT’S NOT A WHOLE HOUSE.

“Hello…? Ms. Suleman? Yeah, I don’t know if you remember this or not….BUT YOU BOUGHT A HOUSE….AND HAVEN’T PAID FOR IT. Sound familiar?”

Unbelievable. ANYWAY, so here comes Steven Hirsch to the rescue…porn contract in hand!

That’s right, this time he has agreed to pay off the balance of the house, a reported $460K, in exchange for one feature film. That’s a whole lotta scratch for even SIX sex scenes, if it came down to that, making her one of the highest paid first-timers in the history of adult film. But she has to make up her mind soon because the money is due about the same time this blog goes live. By the time you’re reading this…it’s too late.

As an aside I received a picture of the newly trimmed Nadya Suleman this morning, and while I detest the woman for trying to use her 12 kids to get herself famous, she has lost the weight…lost the waist…and kept the boobs.

Coincidence?