A buddy of mine told me something in confidence. I told him I would take this story to the grave. Turns out, I’m not a good friend. Some stories just need to be told. Ryan (not his real name) was dating this very quiet girl, a real carpenter’s dream. So quiet in fact that if you were right next to her when she was speaking, you couldn’t hear what she was saying. It’s akin to the Seinfeld episode with the low talker where Jerry is forced to wear the “puffy shirt” on the Today Show. She was cute so we didn’t give Ryan any flack about dating a chick who barely spoke and when she did no one was privy to what she was saying unless you had supersonic hearing. Like most men, Ryan assumed that quiet girls were animals in bed. He was right. After the jump find out why their sex life was so….hilarious.

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