Fuck A Redhead For St. Paddy’s Day

Chris Miller — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 16:18:56 +0000

If Saint Patrick were alive today he’d be sitting in his South Boston apartment slamming back a Sam Addams and listening to Dropkick Murphys. When he’s done his beer, he’d call his fuck buddy Carmen McKenna. Carmen is a gorgeous redhead he met down by the docks. She looks like Kylie Ireland and her claim to fame is that once she blew a guy who bought a bedazzled jean jacket from Big Papi Ortiz’s wife. Saint Patrick loves redheads and after the jump you will too.

When Saint Patrick’s not watching porno films on Orgasm.com, he’s looking for another redhead to fuck. This is Laura O’Laughlin. He met her at the Garden. She was trying to find Rajon Rondo because she’s always wanted to have a black baby. Fortunately for Rondo, she was escorted out of the Celtics game by security.

Sometimes Saint Patrick goes to the XXX titty bar downstairs from his place. There’s one stripper there, Brianna Brennan, she’s always good for a fuck. Her ginger hair looks pretty wild during sex. She does this thing with her hips that makes Saint Patrick shoot his green load in seconds.

This is Maggie Hogan. She’s a student at UMass. She’s kind of a wallflower until she gets some booze into her. After three beers she jumps on Saint Patrick’s dick and rides it like she’s auditioning for a porno. Sometimes she sings “Danny Boy” when she’s cumming. It sounds weird but Saint Patrick’s really into it.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! Do your part and fuck a redhead.

Rock The Boat With Nautical Sex

Chris Miller — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:49:12 +0000

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner I’m starting to loose sleep. No, not because I have a special lady in my life but because there’s a lady I’d like to have special sex with. I met this girl the other day at the gym. She’s perfect. And by perfect, I mean smoking hot. Her personality is probably great but who cares, right? Judge me in a minute because in order to have a passionate XXX night with this woman I have to sit through the worst movie ever made: Titanic. Oh, and I have to sit through it in 3D because that’s how it’s being re-released. Do you not have enough money, James Cameron?!? Sorry, I’ll try and compose myself. But, there is one good thing about this whole Titanic nonsense, I get to fuck this chick after our date. I know this because she told me that she wants to have sex with me but would prefer if I took her out somewhere first and she decided on seeing Titanic. Anyway, this whole business got me thinking about boat sex. After the jump, I hope you’ll be thinking about it too.

If you’re lucky enough to own a boat or have access to one you should make sure you have sex on it. The only time I’ve ever had gotten any sort of XXX action on a boat was when I was in my early twenties and went on a cruise with some friends. There was this Japanese chick who I got drunk with one night and she decided it would be in her best interest to blow me under the stars at 3am when no one else was around on the upper deck. It was beautiful.

By the way, the girl who is dragging me to see Titanic looks exactly like Kylie Ireland so now you understand why I’m willing to sit through the most boring love story since…Love Story. Have you seen Miss Ireland? She’s a goddess. I’d give my left nut to have sex with her. Wait. No. I’d need my left nut to have sex with her.

The big date is going down on Saturday which means I have to watch a bunch of free porn that features boat sex and nautical nookie until then. I spend enough time watching free porn anyway that it won’t take away from my everyday activities of dreaming about getting it on with Kylie Ireland in the most XXX fashion, off the starboard bow, yelling “I’m the king of the world!”

Orgasm.com » Kylie Ireland

Fuck A Redhead For St. Paddy’s Day

Rock The Boat With Nautical Sex