Internet porn has made sex easy, not to mention accessible for public consumption. You don’t have to hide in a dirty bookstore to buy it anymore – and without that embarrassment people have opened up to fetishes and darker desires. Like a good meal you can have your fucking any way you like it – with whips, chains, stockings, anally, on a boat. The scenarios are endless, and often lead to an escalation in the type of behavior needed to get off.

Escalation is a key point, because although we like our ladies in thigh high stockings, and love when they suck dick in lipstick, sometimes there’s nothing better than just plain old sex. You know the kind: you strip down and bend over a big titted bitch and fuck her until she screams. Never mind acrobatics worthy of Cirque du Soleil, simple pounding is refreshing and a back to basics approach that will help you return to your roots.

So the next time your lady comes over, smack her ass and get down to one of life’s richest pleasures: simple sex. You can thank us later.

Perhaps it is comforting to know that men are a little more prone to get political if they know that means a possible “win” for their own member. Two psychologists have recently claimed to have found a pattern between the American states which backed a winning candidate and the number of search requests for porn on the internet in that state.

In 2004, upon George Bush’s alleged “win”, rates of internet porn usage in the states that backed him surged. In comparison, states that supported John Kerry saw decreases. Remarkably, the same results were found in the 2008 election that featured Barack Obama and John McCain, as well as in the 2006 congressional election.

The study was conducted by Patrick Markey and his wife (who remains anonymous) – both psychologists interested in political phenomena. In an online interview Markley was quoted as saying, “If we saw this just for one election, you might chalk it up to chance, but we saw a pattern with it happening three times. It’s also cool that we saw these results with both Republicans and Democrats — that these were general results not just driven by one political party.”

The results may be indicative of more than just one political party being sexually active then another. Men aren’t usually prone to sudden masturbation sessions upon a successful victory are they?

Apparently, the husband and wife super team stumbled on their findings after working on studies involving testosterone levels. Related studies have shown extreme levels in testosterone, high or low, result in differences in sexual behavior.

American states which voted strongly for McCain in the 2008 elections had significantly lower levels of free porn consumption. Obama voters fared a lot better when he successfully won the election, causing a massive spike in online porn usage among the strongest states.

“We don’t know for sure if testosterone is the reason why we are seeing these changes in porn-seeking behavior, but it seems like the best explanation at the moment,” said Markey.
The only thing left to wonder is which party watched teen cheerleader sluts, or anal avengers.

What most would do in this situation depends on their physical condition. Therein lies a dilemma: most of America is fat and out of shape, meaning that most of America would be a crappy lay. Even being minimally fit these days would put you ahead of the curve when it comes to fucking.

So which would you rather be? The guy who shoots too early, or the stud that fucks like an internet porn sensation? I’d recommend becoming the latter, and it all starts with solid fundamental groundwork. Try some pushups and sit-ups followed by cardio to increase your thrust rate during sex. Falling prey to stroke management isn’t worth it.

Most men know their limitations but fail to ask – what if I didn’t have any limitations? A little bit of exercise is worth getting the chance to fuck your girl as you’re standing, or spanking her ass as you pound her from behind. Hell, you might get her so excited that she asks you to jizz on her face.

Stranger things have been known to happen.

So congratulations to Bree Olson who appears this week in the music video for Flo-Rida and T-Pain’s “Zoosk Girl.”

It is rather unfortunate that they misspelled her name AND the fact that the video is actually a jingle of sorts for a new personals site. But whatever Bree!! Today the “Zoosk” tomorrow the world! Keep your chin dry and don’t stop believing. One day the only internet porn in your future will be what you have to keep your kids and rat-bastard husband from watching!