Hey Cee Lo, love you on The Voice. Hope you win it all this year instead of that dickhead moron from Maroon 5 or that country singing douchechill. Actually, I’m okay with Christina Aguilera winning. She has nice tits. They must be fake. But I digress. Who’s the redhead? You going to let her give you the marlin?

“Ayyo, you seen Tyrone? I been lookin’ for his ass. He was supposed to burn me that Kenny Loggins joint. I gave him a blank CD and everything. When I’m done shootin’ these sex movies I’m gonna go see wassup with that fool.”

Hello there little brunette lady with pretty tits. What’s that on your face? Are you crying marshmallow tears? This must be what the Lollipop Guild looks for when they’re searching Orgasm.com for free porn while the rest of us are looking for XXX sex movies staring Inari Vachs.

Bridget Powers is one of the premier midget porn stars out there. If you’ve seen I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, you’ve seen her tits when she was having fake sex with that blonde guy from The Good Wife. I hope one day my friend Brian gets to live out his XXX fantasy and bang her because she looks like a real class act.