The Hairy Pussy Squad

Jeff Powell — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 16:55:45 +0000

Ladies, I get it, you don’t always have time to wax. Yes, I do prefer a clean workspace but I understand that it costs money and probably hurts like a bitch. Once I was banging this chick who had the hairiest pussy I’ve ever seen. It looked like one of the guys from ZZ Top. No wait, looked like Silvie Deluxe in this porn video. It still haunts me to this day. But not all men are turned off by a bearded bush. If there’s one thing we can learn from 70s sex movies it’s that no matter how much hair you have on your vagina, some guy will stick his dick in it. If Sasha Grey came up to you and said she wanted to fuck but hadn’t been waxed in weeks you’d still get with her, right? Of course you would. You’re not an idiot. And since you’re here, you’re probably the type of pervert who would like that. Stick around after the jump for pictures and discover the members of Orgasm.com’s Hairy Pussy Squad.

The first hairy pussy was reported when Jesus removed Mary Magdelene’s tattered clothing and laid her down upon a bed of nails with the intentions of turning her cum into wine after he fucked her. “Judas, bro, you gotta come see this! Mary’s pussy looks like your beard”. But to be fair, since she is the whore of God, she probably looked more like Sasha Grey, the hottest pornstar on the face of the earth. So without further ado, the first member of our Hairy Pussy Squad:

#1 Sasha Grey

Should you find yourself in a situation where you need to eat hair pie, make sure you have the dental floss handy. Getting pubes stuck in your teeth sucks. There was an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry gets one wrapped around his larynx. Poor guy. But maybe if he had been eating out Lexi Belle, one of the hottest young porn harlots in the adult game, he would have died happy. Lexi often sports a hairy pussy, and is partially responsible for its resurgence in modern porn videos. That’s why she’s the second mamber of our Hairy Pussy Squad:

#2 Lexi Belle

If you think about hairy pussies enough, you’ll realize it’s still a bunch of chicks getting fucked, their pussies just have playoff beards. That’s how I like to think of Nicole Aniston, below. Her snatch is one of the porn industry’s mainstays, and it’s consistently hairy: it seem that beard is in with the emo crowd these days. Really though, who doesn’t want to watch porn that reflects how sex looks in the real world? Nicole Aniston might have big fake tits and bleach blonde hair, but her pussy can be unshorn just like the common woman.

#3 Nicole Aniston

The final member of our hairy pussy foursome is Marie McCray. Marie is special because she’s a natural redhead, meaning she sports a full on firebush. Very much like Faye Reagan, another famous redheaded pornstar, she also sports a hairy pussy when she gets her fuck on. Here at Orgasm.com, we’d like to suggest that bush color could be used as an identification method in lieu of DNA – if you want to know if Marie has dyed her hair to conceal her identity just pull down her pants, slide her thong out of the way, and check her pussy!

#4 Marie McCray

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The Hairy Pussy Squad