Aiden Ashley is a sexy lesbian adult film star from L.A., and we knew we had to bring her in to do a shoot for Orgasm.com.  What would appear to be a normal shoot quickly took a turn to the crazy side.

Forget choking the chicken, it was time for Aiden to choke on the chicken.

Ever seen a Lucha Libra girl with a Fucksaw? Aiden sure has.

We like to monkey around sometimes. (pun intended) And yes I realize it’s a gorilla, but with a girl this hot who’s really looking at the Gorilla Monkey Ape thing, unless of course that’s what you’re into.

Nerd Boner Alert:  If you are a Star Wars Nerd you are about to get a boner.

According to the report, the average number of security threats on a religious site was 115, while a porn site only carried around 25 threats on average. On top of this, only 2.4 percent of adult sites carried infections compared to 20 percent of blogs. This placed pornographic sites as the 10th most frequently exploited type of website. Yes, that’s dead last on Symantec’s list.

Symantec even spelled it out themselves in their report: “religious and ideological sites were found to have triple the average number of threats per infected site than adult/pornographic sites. We hypothesize that this is because pornographic website owners already make money from the Internet and, as a result, have a vested interest in keeping their sites malware-free–it’s not good for repeat business.”

Of course, we also think this could have something to do with that study that showed that atheists score more IQ points than religious people–clearly enough IQ points to consider a little malware prevention.

Here’s to religious people and their ability to make the Internet worse…on multiple levels! Let’s all look at porn instead.

Just in case the look in Jenna Haze‘s eyes isn’t enough for you…here’s some double penetration with Stoya.

Still not enough for you? Okay. Well, here’s a little Belladonna / Rebecca Linares girl on girl action. You know…just in case you hadn’t gotten enough malware-free Internet already.

]]> 0 http://www.orgasm.com/free-porn-blog/2012/04/19/porning-up-the-classics-if-your-favorite-books-got-the-xxx-treatment/ http://www.orgasm.com/free-porn-blog/2012/04/19/porning-up-the-classics-if-your-favorite-books-got-the-xxx-treatment/#comments Thu, 19 Apr 2012 15:05:21 +0000 Jeff Powell http://www.orgasm.com/free-porn-blog/?p=7374 Butterfly in the sky. I can go twice as high. Take a look. It’s in a book. It’s Reading Rainbow. I can do anything. Friends to know. Ways to grow. Reading Rainbow.

If there’s one thing I learned from my boy LeVar Burton, it’s that reading is good. It’s good for the soul, the mind and probably the body. So in honor of  Geordi La Forge, who taught me to get my reading on when I was a kid, Orgasm.com brings you: The Classics With More Sex.

Little Slutty Women by Louisa May Dicksucker

Our first classic is the tale of the March sisters. In the original Little Women, they ladies were actual sisters but for our XXX version they will be sorority sisters. We follow Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy as they screw their way through college like the dirty hoes they are.

“The March sisters are total sluts,’ Ryan said to Tim as they headed into the locker room after a tough loss to Appalachian State. Tim nodded as he threw his helmet down on the floor in disgust and sighed. If only he could get a blow job from Jo March. He was the quarterback after all. Don’t women love the quarterback? He’d already fucked Meg, Beth and Amy but it was Jo that interested him the most. She had dick sucking lips and according to Ryan, she was really into ball play. There was also a rumor that she shot a girl on girl porno with her iPhone.

Alice In Anal Land by Lewis Cumcarrol

Our second classic is what I’ve always thought would make a good HD porn starring Cali Lakai because of all the trippy stuff that goes on in the book. Alice in Wonderland was never my favorite book but I can see how people enjoy it so it gets the XXX treatment.

Through the looking glass, Alice spied a rather large dick. My word, she thought, where ever will I put it? She began to weap. Her tears flooding the tiny room.

“Oh look, I’m all wet,” she murmured.

Suddenly, the Mad Hatter burst in. It was his rather large dick that she had spied. He bent her over without saying a word and penetrated her in the butt while the Chesire Cat taped it for his personal collection.

The Cather In The Eye by JD Salingpussy

This might be one of the greatest books ever written. The only thing missing from The Catcher In The Rye is more sex.

Most guys at Pencey just talked about sexual intercourse with girls all the time – like Ackley for instance – but old Stradlater really did it. I was personally acquainted with at least two girls he gave the time to. That’s the truth. All the other guys were a bunch of phonies. It made you feel all crumby. Once I was in Central Park with Phoebe and she did this thing that almost killed me. Wuddya know she goes over to the duck pond and starts quacking at them. Anyway, I’m hard now and have to stop procrasturbating and shoot my load in this phony’s eye.

Moby Dick by Herman Melboobs

Didn’t have to change the title on that one to give it the XXX treatment. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen many HD porn movies with that title too.

Call me Ishmael. I like dick and I like when it’s in my mouth. They say the white whale is the most mysterious but personally, I prefer the sperm whale.

According to TMZ, the guy behind the Not The Three Stooges XXX – yes that is the title of the porn parody – is being threatened by Robert Benjamin. Robert Benjamin is the Executive VP and General Council for C3 Entertainment, the outfit that produced the Farrelly Brothers monstrosity that grossed 17 million last weekend. He’s saying that the XXX version is not protected as a parody under the First Amenedment. Whatever that means. You know lawyers, they use tons of lawyer mumbo-jumbo. That’s why I didn’t go to law school, too much mumbo-jumbo for my liking.

What’s the big deal? So Larry, Moe and Curley get the XXX treatment, big whoop. Porn parodies are awesome. There’s always a girl on girl part that comes out of nowhere and the sex is comical. Don’t you want to see Morgan Moon yelling, “Fuck me Moe!” while getting plowed in the ass?

TMZ is reporting that the lawyer representing the porn parody fired back at Benjamin saying that parodies are protected under freedom of speech and then used some other mumbo-jumbo that you hear in courtroom scenes of Law & Order SVU. Benjamin should eat a big slice of E-Coli pie and shut it. There’s no reason to block what could be the funniest sex parody of all time.

Besides real men needing porn, women need it to. I’ve had more female friends tell me they’re into girl on girl stuff than males. Sure, they think it’s funny because they claim that it never goes down that way but still, they watch porn too. Rick Santorum was pretty vocal about his distaste for the porn industry. Here at Orgasm we were of course, not pleased. Now we’re thrilled that he’s decided to return to Pennsylvania to be crazy and leave sex movies alone.

Will Romney leave the sex movies alone or will he campaign against them? Watching porn as a sexual release is completely healthy. If you don’t watch sex movies, you could die from boner shock. Not cool. People who thumb their noses at sex movies are the same kind of people who believe in the devil. They’re the kind of people that are scared of a little red guy with horns running around with a pitchfork in 110 degree heat. First of all, that’s like a typical Vegas halloween; second, are you kidding me? I’m not knocking those who find comfort in religion, but come on! Watching porn doesn’t make you go to Hell, believing in something as dumb as a little red guy with horns ruling the underworld does. Sorry, END RANT.

Political insiders (i.e., something I read on LAWeekly) are saying that yes, Romney will take up Santorum’s anti-porn position because he doesn’t find Angelina Armani and the rest of the sex movies crew attractive. Idiot. Maybe if he sat down and watched a girl on girl film Romney’d leave the porn industry alone. Here at Orgasm, we can only hope.

“Gee officer, do you really have to give me that ticket? I didn’t realize how fast I was going. I’ll have sex with you if it gets me out of having to pay $500 for driving 60 miles over the speed limit while texting my mother.”

The East Rutherford Women’s swim team reporting for duty. They’re lean, they’re mean and they dominate the girl on girl events.

“Excuse me, are these the free HD porn auditions? I’m here to meet my friend Tera Patrick. Have you seen her?”

Ebony and Ivory are making the world a better place, one girl on girl in the ocean video at a time.

“Do you guys like my hair. I totes crimped it today. Trying to go for that Coyote Ugly look, you know, like in the movie. Not the one with Piper Perabo, the free HD porn version, the XXX one.”

April fools! It’s not bad for you, it’s good for you. So to promote your healthy lifestyle, here are some very hot porn pics. They’re all in black and white so it’s super classy. Enjoy!

Looks like this babe is getting her full serving of vegetables today.

Girl on girl? Sweet.

You got a little something on your lips, honey. Looks like a real Michigan mouthful.

Hope you’re thinking about Syren Sexton while you’re having sex with yourself.

More girl on girl? Does it get more XXX than that?

Before you grab your woman and run to the stairs, make sure no one’s around. It’s hard to stay hard when you’re scared someone’s going to catch you tossing a fuck into your girlfriend’s glove. Once you’ve found an empty stairwell and you’re positive no one’s going to interrupt your trying to replicate the moves you’ve seen in the free HD porn on Orgasm.com, then by all means, get busy.

There are two recommended stair sex positions. The first one I’m calling “The Larry Sanders Show” for no other reason than I’m a huge fan of Garry Shandling and because with this position it’s like you’re facing an audience. Sit on the stairs facing away from them and have your chick mount you. You’ll have a nice view of her back. Hopefully she doesn’t have bacne. Gross. The second position I’m calling the  ”XXX Snake Plissken”. I just really like the idea of Kurt Russell wearing an eyepatch and assume that every time he does some free HD porn moves they’re in a stairwell with someone he’s met during his escape from NY or LA. Right, moving on. Get your woman to position herself one step up from you with her calves resting around your thighs. Have one of your legs a few stairs down for leverage and start thrusting! This position really gets the Adrenalynn going.

I tried to find a picture of the second position, “XXX Snake Plissken”, but no luck. Instead, please enjoy  this girl on girl photo of two hotties being naughty on the stairs. I believe this is taking place in a house somewhere between Niffkin’s Bridge and Sacramento.

Ultimate Surrender is the studio behind this wonderful new breed of wrestling. It’s basically two chicks, they wrestle and the loser gets fucked in the ass with a strap on. It’s XXX wrestling, if you will. Of course you will.

When I was really into wrestling I would’ve never imagined Bret “the Hit Man” Heart losing to the Undertaker and getting his ass pounded after the match with everyone watching. Yes, there is still old fashioned wrestling but the free porn clips we have on Orgasm.com end in butt sex with a strap on. I’ll take that over the “people’s elbow” any day. That was the Rock’s move. Or was it Alice Romain‘s? No wait, her move is the Valsalva Maneuver.

I’m sure Hulk Hogan approves of this kind of XXX wrestling. Hell, I’m sure every red-blooded American male approves of this kind of wrestling. Did I mentions there’s girl on girl strap on sex at the end? I did? A lot? Sorry. Oh and, sometimes there are tag teams. Hot.

Barbara Summers has a sweet look about her. But don’t be fooled, this Euro babe likes to fuck. She just wears glasses sometimes to better help her see the dick she’s sucking or pussy she’s licking. Babs has been making sex movies since 2002, when at the age of 25 she figured it was time to give the people what they want: girl on girl clips, anal sex clips, pussy licking etc.

What sets this porn star apart from the rest is her ability to take it in both her ass and pussy alternately. It sounds like it should be easy but imagine you’re a chick and a dude is fucking you in your vag for a bit then moves his dick into your butt then back to your vag. It takes discipline and effort to have your ass and pussy fucked in quick intervals. Watch Can’t Deny The Anal Blonde and you’ll understand why this porn star is a perfect 10.