Posts Tagged ‘fuck’

Pool Party

Sunday, October 3rd, 2010

“Hey, everybody,” Gene shouted, “watch this.” The big guy executed a sloppy somersault off the diving board into his back yard pool. His guests gave him a mock standing ovation as Cal called out: “I’d give that one a three and a half.”

It was the usual crowd of three couples, fast friends all since they moved into this subdivision ten years ago. Gene and Marie’s backyard was the center of all get-to-gether’s and so comfortable were the six, that at the end of the summer of their first year, they started skinny-dipping at these summer pool parties. Cal was grilling the burgers and dogs, naked under his red, white and blue apron; Marie and Katie sat on the edge of the pool with their bare legs dangling over the edge, sipping on wine coolers while the water splashed close to their pussies; Minnie read her book at the cherry red table at the far eastern edge of the patio and Troy swam in the deep end. Gene’s bald head emerged from the water at the side of the pool where his wife sat, coming up right between her legs.

“Not now, not now,” she said, playfully rapping his glistening tanned plate.

“Oh come on,” the man said, lean his chin back down in the water and kissed up his wife’s thick spread thighs.

“Hey, Gene,” Cal sang out, “doesn’t this town have a zoning ordinance about eating pussy. “Katie leaned over to watch the skill of her best friend’s husband and gulped at the bottle she held. ”Cal, can we get a score here?” she asked swallowing sweet liquid as Marie squealed and peddled her feet in the water to the side of her hubby’s shoulders.

“That’s definitely a ten for pussy eating. All the judges agree.”

Again everyone laughed-even Gene-who was eagerly eating his wife’s crotch. No one was really surprised when Katie put down her drink, lean over and took one of Marie’s hard little nipples into her mouth. Such a languid summer scene; barbecue spitting, drinks clinking pool, the pool clear…and a pretty big-breasted woman getting her pussy eaten by a man in a pool while a woman sucked on her tit.

Troy came out of the pool, his thin seven inches bouncing and Cal lowered the jets, undid his apron and walked over to his best friend. Winnie stood, walked over to them both, reached down to give Cal’s thick eight inches a pull, smiled, then grabbed her hubby’s skinny cock and pulled him to the love-seat lounge.

Cal began jerking himself hard watching his wife suck that big tit, Gene in the water eating his own wife and his friends begin to fuck on the loveseat to his immediate right. Katie switched over to the other nipple.

“Close, baby?” she asked Marie. ”Keeping sucking,” Marie cooed as Gene looked up for a sec, smiled his fully glazed face and dove back down into his wife’s thick spread lips.

Seeing Katie move over to Marie’s other nipple, Cal began to furiously fist fuck his cock. Winnie mounted Troy who began flapping about on the love seat, but the tall blonde sat up high on his cock entering her and screamed: “Don’t you come, don’t you come until I tell you.” Everyone knew Winnie could be quite the dom bitch.

Cal stroked even harder when he saw the terror mixed with delight on Troy’s face. Marie flapped her wide ass on the pool tiles as Gene held the front of her fleshy thighs down with his hands and finally finally pushed his face all the way into her pussy. Katie for her part stayed on the left tit she was sucking as Marie obviously began to come, creating deep waves in the water around her hubby.

Val was bucking, trying to hold on, Minnie was pulling at her nipples and breathing loud. Cal began to come when he saw his wife reach down and put her whole hand into her spread shaved pussy. ”P-please…” everyone-expect Gene-growled.

Just another lazy Saturday afternoon in the suburbs.

The After Party

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Gil sat down on the edge of the large king size bed pulling on his socks.

“Babe, we’re due at the Martin’s in twenty minutes,” he yelled to Priscilla in the bathroom. Waiting a few seconds for, but getting no response, he sighed, got up and went in to check his wife’s lack of progress.

“Priscilla,” he shouted over the sound of the hairdryer that assaulted him. “Priscilla!” He stopped at the open door.

His short wife was completely naked standing there with her long brunette locks upside down as she bent her head to dry them. Not hearing her husband, Priscilla stood up, facing Gil and yelping once in surprise.

‘Still the best pair of tits I’ve ever seen’, Gil said to himself, smiling as his wife stood fully facing him with her big tits and her sweet tight pussy bare.

“Gil,” she admonished. “I made us late already.” Priscilla recognized her husband’s ‘I-want-you-now’ look. ”Just let me get dressed.”

Even though she was right, they were late and turned then from her husband-’a great ass too’, Gil thought-Priscilla knew Gil would be up on her in a second; she’d be disappointed actually if he wasn’t.

“You make so horny,” he said stepping up to her back. As Priscilla brushed out her hair, she heard her man reach down and undue his fly.

“Gil, we don’t have ti…” she began but secretly yearned for that fat prick she felt poking her ass. ”G..g…” she tried, leaning her hands on the cold Italian marble sink, spreading her legs just enough for Gil to place the hard hot head of his dick up between her legs.

“Gil, we’re really gonna be la…”

As they both looked in the mirror and smiled Gil entered his wife hard, pushing his thickness up and in between Priscilla’s wet lips as she gasped and threw her head back.

Just as quickly as he had come in though, Gil retreated out of that hot little hole, popping his now wet cock free.

“We’re gonna be late,” he said, spun and left the bathroom. ”Pay-back’s a bitch!” Priscilla growled, sighed, shuttered and continued to get dressed.

(more…)

How to Have Marathon Sex

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

A mind blowing orgasm each night is something that most of us only dream of while we’re busy being DJ Diddles. Could you possibly be the man whose name she screams again and again, all night long? If you don’t yet have the stamina of King Kong, or the skills of Gandalf the Great, you are in luck. Unfortunately, having sex all night is not as easy as showing up with a pile of lube and a rock solid cock from warming up to porn. So here are some tips!

Sexy Snacks

Sexy snacks does not include hiding a drumstick between your shoulder cleavage. Fantastic sex can burn a lot of calories, so more than likely you will need some energy to keep up an ambitious fuck marathon. Whipping cream, strawberries, bananas and pudding can all be a sexy light snack to give you another hour of power.

Make sure you feed each other as erotically as possible, and stay close to your sexy lady, too much distance can kill you chances of having sex immediately afterwards.

Saucy Shower

A hot shower can revitalize and refresh us at the worst of times. Cleanliness offers one benefit that you may not have considered – it creates less inhibition. You don’t want to wonder why it smells like a warm fish market as you make your way between her legs. Oral sex should always be an option during sex, and showering between multiple sex sessions can allow you to suck and fuck all night comfortably and cleanly.

Caress and massage your women, and make her feel relaxed. Don’t sit in the fetal position crying like usual, stand behind her, soap her up and wash her down.

Avoid Over Exertion

The secret to multiple sex sessions is to set a pace that you can keep up. Fast and furious might work when you have ten minutes of spare time before you go to work, however the aim is to last a while longer.

Slow and steady

If you want to cross the finish line in your sex marathon, you should practice these tips. The period after a sex session can be used as a refreshing break before you hit the sheets once more. A little bit of planning might make you a legend among the ladies, and one fit mother fucker.

How Did Man Survive Before Porn?

Monday, September 20th, 2010

There was a time, long ago that no man had free porn in any form. No magazines, no celebrity sex tape dvds, not even a playboy. You would think that primitive men would be getting turned on by the wind, with all that bottled up sexual energy. So, did we have other ways of satisfying our urge to orgasm?

Men tend to assume that an orgasm consists of draining the main vein, however we tend to find similar enjoyment in other activities that might give us some answers to why we get such a hard on for things that do not include women. We tend to include sexy ladies wherever we can, but when it comes down to it, guys tend to watch a lot of guys do things for most entertainment.

Through history, man has tried to prove who had the biggest dick in different ways, some more ridiculous then others. Lets take a look at some of the various alternatives to watching porn stars get fucked that got us off.

War

Men have a long history with war. There are many different reasons, but there’s a stigma that we are simply fighting each other to prove which ruler has a bigger dick. It could be religious, political, economic or for the fuck of it. Most wars capitalized on the fact that men like to fight, and the idea of watching Saving Private Ryan in 3D on the Imax would most likely make any man jizz in his pants.

Sports

Nothing gets a guy more pumped up than watching his favorite football team (in tight spandex pants) crush their opponents and do the touchdown dance. You’ll probably see some of the most testosterone fueled men orgasm at every hit, and nearly shit themselves when the teams are deadlocked in the last minute. It could be modern man’s attempt to fuel his bloodsport desires, or another aspect to prove who’s the bigger man. One thing is for sure, most guys get more jazzed up over their favorite football stars then fucking a sexy slut.

Fights

It seems like we human beings have a history of violence because we cant occupy ourselves with anything that doesn’t involve semi naked, sweaty men, grappling each other. One of the greatest sports phenomena that has pushed entertainment out of the norm, is UFC. You can’t help but hear tight wearing steroid using douches doing a circle jerk over their favorite fighter. What heterosexual male wouldn’t get turned on by seeing buff naked dudes stick their junk in each others faces and smelling the hot stank of waxed assholes. It’s for aerodynamics of course – they’re professionals.

Amy Fisher: From Prison To Porn?

Saturday, September 4th, 2010

Amy Fisher making her official entrance into the porn industry was about as shocking as Rosie O’Donnell stealing a child’s Mars Bar on Halloween. In other words, not very. What is shocking however, is that Dreamzone Entertainment has signed her to a 4 film contract that will begin with The Making of Amy Fisher: Porn Star.

What we’d like to know is: who wants to see a woman who used to fuck Joey Buttafuoco get slammed on film? Never mind the fact that she spent 7 years in prison for shooting Buttafuoco’s wife, or that she’s now 36 – her 36 DD breasts just don’t make up for her having been with a man as trashy as Buttafuoco (even if it was in the early 90′s).

Perhaps Fisher is supposed to appeal to those who like their women with an edge. Clearly she can handle a gun, and her body was hardened in prison – who knows, maybe she engaged some girl on girl orgasm generation? Now that’s something we would pay to see. The rest better be free internet porn however, or we’re not watching. There are too many high quality porn productions out there to waste one’s time on Amy Fisher.

Even Fisher seems to understand society’s obsession with sex. She’s quoted as saying, “Our society loves sex. It feels so good and we should enjoy it. Sex is beautiful, powerful, and simply put, no one has the right to tell me what I can or can not do with my own private parts. This time, I get to make the choices on what kind of movies I want to make.” Of course, Fisher is referring to the sex tape she claims she didn’t authorize in 2008. However it’s debatable that she was an innocent party in her sex tape’s release, especially considering her pornographic aspirations since. We just hope she keeps her thighs fit and her homicidal tendencies in check.

Christian Sex Shop? Yes, It Exists

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

As sex is becoming a more and more accepted topic of discussion, what once was taboo for some, is now becoming mainstream. Still it’s surprising that a new sex shop has opened whose patrons are married christians. This exclusive online sex shop is targeting christian married couples interested in putting down the bible for some anal bead play.

The selection of products at the store are an interesting medley of christian influenced sex toys. The “Like a Virgin Kit” is a step by step vaginal tightening kit in case your women was not pure from the get go as she promised. Jesus lovers can choose from a wide selection of masturbation sleeves – including the popular “Head Honcho”. Inside of the sleeves are “three suction cavities, and as you stroke the Head Honcho up and down, it creates a pleasurable vacuum.”

The masturbation devices are said to provide a helpful alternative to when the a married couple cannot have sex, say divorce or Sunday. Couples who are trying to have sex however, can choose from a saintly selection of condoms, dildos, and lubes. Those with premature ejaculation troubles can find some help from the lord in the form of a gel. The sex aids as they call them, are a perfect addition to any holy happy home.

No sex shop is legitimate till it has a really naughty section, and a christian shop is not be left out. Under special orders, a sexy velcro kit can ordered, for your introduction to bdsm. The sinful sex kit contains a blind fold, feather, velcro straps and tethers. A light bondage kit that Jesus will surely give to juicy thumbs up for.

A plethora of pussy accessories are available such as crotchless panties, remote controlled vibrating panties and even a lovers thong with stroker beads. Non piercing nipple jewelry and penis candy provide a kosher christian alternative.

Those christians who need a little extra forgiveness of their sins can purchase a book that instructs them how to use the toys “the christian way”. If there is a christian way to fuck a women in the ass while she is gagged and bound to a cross, then so be it. Just make sure you buy the book, so you really understand how to do it properly.

Sex Spots

Friday, August 27th, 2010

A popular past time for some, and a daring adventure only stumbled upon by others, public sex is illegal and pretty awesome. Kinky couples everywhere try to find interesting places to fuck and be naughty. There are even certain porn sites which cater to those who are less adventurous and happen to just want to watch people fuck in interesting places. If you’re interested in learning where the most popular spots are for couples to have sex, read on for an in-depth look.

A recent study of places where kinky couples like to fuck has resulted in some surprisingly wicked results, ie. places you may not expect to be the first place you would whip out your dick, or spread open your pussy. Nonetheless, we are a creative bunch that seeks out new and different ways to express our sexuality.

At a orgasmic 82 percent, most couples play it safe and make love in the shower when not in the bedroom. In second place, the car is a popular hot spot, 80 percent of people fucking in hopes of recreating that steamy Titanic love scene. Leonardo and Winslet made that old Ford steam up from the inside with a force that sent horny couples everywhere dashing back to the car to make some steamy sex of their own.

Other popular sex spots included but not limited to: a pool or waterbody (54%), in the forest (49%), on the kitchen table( 48%) and in a tent (37%).

A slightly bizarre and twisted statistic that might uncover some underlying psychological issues is that 34% of couples have fucked in their parents bedrooms. It wasn’t noted when this occurred, but I would assume that most of that happened in earlier years. Over a quarter also had a quickie on the washing machine – which is a great way to add some extra stimulation for both partners.

The survey was conducted by Cosmopolitan, and quizzed over 1,500 participants. It isn’t a surprise that people are trying to find different places to fuck besides the bedroom. A new list of the most extreme places ever to have been sexed upon would be a highly entertaining alternative. Stay tuned for a list of those fucked up fuck spots!

Racism in Porn: The Experts Debate

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

Pornland author Gail Dines is attempting to make the argument that the sexualities of millions are being forcibly hijacked by a billion dollar porn industry.

In Pornland there is a chapter titled “Racy Sex, Sexy Racism!”. Dines writes that it is commonly seen that women of color are almost always subject to a certain genre of porn named Gonzo. According to the author, porn is subject to racializing the behavior of sexual stars in their performances. Descriptions such as “Saxxx tried to clean herself up [but] she was still a low-down dirty ghetto ho! So I rammed her.” Websites and videos commonly feature race-biased titles like, “Me Fuck You Long Time,” or “Oh No! There’s a Negro in My Mom.” Racism in the porn world tends to be caused by the fact that most of the production jobs are predominantly white.

Scholar of pornography, Mireille Miller-Young of the University of California, Santa Barbara, has noticed areas of concern in the adult entertainment industry, although tends to generally disagree with Pornland’s anti-porn philosophy.

Stereotypes in porn are commonly occurring trends that manipulate fantasies, inequality, and exploitation. Women of color however are already directors and web mistresses. Vanessa Blue, Diana DeVoe and Shine Louise Houston are succesful examples of colored women who may be considered to carry themes of feminism and anti-racism. In any case, Miller-Young points out, “If you really want to understand porn from the view of women of color you need to talk to them, not just evaluate their experiences based on the titles of the movies they appear in.”

Ethnic female directors like Mika Tan have spearheaded movements to produce quality movies that showcase women of color without stereotypical roles and images. … Racism is a symptom of the bigger problem of society and porn no more contributes to that than any other form of commercial media. While there is certainly an element of racism in some adult movies, this is by no means the barometer to judge all pornography. This would be like judging all priests based on a few child molesters or all Southern white males based on a few members of the Ku Klux Klan.

Female porn directors who are addressing ethnic movements are producing quality movies that showcase porn stars without stereotypical roles and images. Racism in porn may stem from larger sociological issues, which are perpetuated as frequently in other forms of commercial media. An abundance of elements of racism can be contributed to certain adult movies, but it cannot be eluded overall that pornography is a racist medium.

So, to return to the original question: Is pornography racist? It certainly has racist elements, just like all forms of media and pop culture, but it also depends on who you ask–and we should be asking women inside the industry as well as its critics.

The Sybian: Sexual Lie Detector

Thursday, August 12th, 2010

We all know the age old excuses for getting out of sex: I’m tired, not in the mood, just had sex with your best friend. Ok, scratch that last one. However, if you’re like us, you’ve heard the former excuses from your girlfriend at the time and wondered if she’s actually telling the truth or if she’s just a lazy whore who needs a better fucking than you’re capable of giving her. This might sound a little paranoid, but ask yourself: when did the excuses start? They certainly weren’t present at the beginning of your relationship when your girl was riding you like a porn star on E and Redbull.

With this in mind, we’ve developed a fool proof sexual lie detector – the Sybian. Just strip down your sexy little slut, sit her pussy-first on the Sybian and let it work it’s magic. It’s always best if you crank it up to high (also known as 50 cc leaf blower intensity) to get an accurate result. Here’s a guide to what her reactions mean.

#1 Your girlfriend falls off.

This almost never happens. However, if it does, your girl is telling the truth – she just isn’t in the mood. This is a free pass, and you might not want to try the Sybian with her again – only frigid fannies don’t heat up when they’re riding in style!

#2 Your girlfriend moves in time with the Sybian and starts whinnying.

This option is tricky. Either your girlfriend is a horse, or she’s liking the Sybian. The latter would make her a lying bitch, and we recommend dumping her. To add insult to injury you might want to hit on her sister first, or at least her mom.

#3 Your girlfriend starts grabbing her tits and moaning, begging you to fuck her.

Well, your girlfriend is a liar, but who really cares? We say hop on the Sybian and start riding with her – your girl needs it bad and who are you to deny her? Case dismissed!