Not to be confused with our guide to having sex outdoors (which you can check out on this very site!), this is Orgasm.com’s guide to fucking in field. Very different stuff. We’ve put together five tips that will ensure you have a good fuck and don’t get attacked by pissed of farmers.

1. Do you have access to a field? If you don’t, you need to be very careful. A friend of mine was banging this chick in the field behind his parents house and he got chased by a very angry farmer. Why? Well, it was the farmer’s field and he didn’t take to kindly to a bunch of 18 year olds humping on his property. The farmer’s name was Earl Fanny Fart. My friend grew up in one of the Dakotas so that explains that. Anyway, find a field no one owns.

2. Don’t get busy on an athletic field. You might think that screwing your ladyfriend on the football field where you threw the game winning touchdown a zillion years ago in high school is a good idea, but trust me, it’s not. Why? Two words: artificial turf. You’ll throw your ladyfriend a XXX touchdown and you’ll both come up with weird burns and rashes. Find real grass to fuck on.

3. If you have pollen or grass allergies or hay fever, take a pill before you try your hand at what you’ve seen in porno movies where people fuck in a field. And don’t just take your allergy pills when you get to the field, take them 20-30 minutes before you start fucking. Why? The antihistamine will be in your system and you won’t sneeze on your woman while she’s giving you a blow job.

4. Watch out for animals. If you live in a rural area, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Animals are everywhere and they do not take to kindly to people acting out their favorite scene from a XXX clip in the same place where they graze. Why? Cows and horses are docile until you mess with them. They don’t bang in your bedroom, don’t bang in their pasture.

5. Remember that the chick you are banging is not Persia Pele. She is not trained to cum on command, you don’t have a crew with you to light and style your video shoot. Hell, you’re probably not even filming it. You’re just two people getting dirty in a field. Have fun with it! Forget about what they do in the porno movies you watch here at Orgasm and go with the flow.

When Saint Patrick’s not watching porno films on Orgasm.com, he’s looking for another redhead to fuck. This is Laura O’Laughlin. He met her at the Garden. She was trying to find Rajon Rondo because she’s always wanted to have a black baby. Fortunately for Rondo, she was escorted out of the Celtics game by security.

Sometimes Saint Patrick goes to the XXX titty bar downstairs from his place. There’s one stripper there, Brianna Brennan, she’s always good for a fuck. Her ginger hair looks pretty wild during sex. She does this thing with her hips that makes Saint Patrick shoot his green load in seconds.

This is Maggie Hogan. She’s a student at UMass. She’s kind of a wallflower until she gets some booze into her. After three beers she jumps on Saint Patrick’s dick and rides it like she’s auditioning for a porno. Sometimes she sings “Danny Boy” when she’s cumming. It sounds weird but Saint Patrick’s really into it.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone! Do your part and fuck a redhead.

Fuck can be used as a verb, adjective, imperative, interjection and noun. That’s like saying a porn star can be used to make free sex videos about squirting, blow jobs, anal sex and bondage play.

According to my research, the earliest use of the word in the spelling we all know and love was in the 1500s in something called Ane Satyr of the Thrie Estaits. I did not bother to find out what that was because it sounds incredibly boring and I’m guessing there are no pics of naked chicks in it. Anyway, it’s a common misconception that fuck started out as an acronym for “Fornication Under Consent (of the) King” or “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge”, but those are both urban legends. However, the word was always associated with XXX content, even in its early years.

Fuck crept into the English language from Dutch and Low German. It is a derivative of ficken which means to copulate. Copulate means having free sex with a XXX porn star like Jackie Lin, or in my case dreaming about having free sex with one. You know how porn stars get, they’re pretty selective of which ganong they allow to enter the sanctuary that is their pussy when it’s not being filmed.

Man, I hope that’s not alcohol in her glass.

Before you and your ladyfriend get busy, warm up with some free HD porn. It’ll get you both in the mood and you can even watch pregnant sex videos to reassure your woman that it won’t hurt the baby. My research tells me there’s nothing to worry about it. If you look at any free HD porn clip that features pregnant chicks getting banged you’ll see that they can fuck pretty hard without any consequences.

There are three fuck positions recommended for pregnant women, especially if they’d like to achieve orgasm. Did I mention that pregnant women have giant breasts? No? How silly of me! They do. Although these sex positions are more to make her feel comfortable, you’ll have access to her mega boobs in each one.

1. Woman on top – Your ladyfriend might feel self-conscious about her bulging belly. Remind her that you won’t be looking at that, you’ll be staring at her big tits the whole time.

2. Spooning – Your woman might not have the energy to be on top. Spooning is a great way to make her cum and give you a chance to hold on to her big tits for leverage. She’ll think you’re the perfect gentleman for doing all the work.

3. Hands and knees – This position doesn’t put pressure on the abdomen and still gives you enough room to reach those big tits. Warning, this position should only be done during the first two trimesters. Some women find that their belly might be too big near the end of the pregnancy causing her severe discomfort.

For the record, if I had to have pregnant sex with anyone it would be Olivia Del Rio. I’m not saying she’s pregnant but if she ever wants to get knocked up by an employee of the best free HD porn site on the internet she should call me and not Jeff Powell.

As I mentioned before I’m currently dating a very nice girl. And by nice I mean, she carries dog treats in her purse just in case she comes across as stray that looks hungry. She told me that when she was 14 she used the word ass and cried for hours afterword because she felt so ashamed. She’s also from one of the Carolina’s. I should really listen more when she talks and know which Carolina she hails from, but I’m too busy staring at her tits and thinking that they’d be a great for dutch fucking.

Oh right, the definition of a dutch fuck. It’s when you use a woman’s boobs for stimulation. It’s also known as a titty fuck, sex chest (sounds like pirates booty), tit wank, TiFu (sounds like a fraternity), mammary intercourse (sounds like the name of a rare whale) and muscle fuck.

There’s no way the girl I’m seeing now will let me do this. We’ve been on six dates and there’s been nothing more than some light petting. Really light petting. I didn’t even get into the bone-zone. Until Miss Carolina lets me undo her shirt and give her tits a solid dutch fuck I’m going to use this picture of porn star Carmella Bing getting her boobs fucked as XXX material for getting my wank on.

For the record, I really like this girl and will make an effort to find out which Carolina those tits come from. Hopefully, it’s the good Carolina.

It’s probably perfectly acceptable to expect all this fluid and action from/and with our fuck buddies-built as those relationships are on Xxx sex-but when it comes to steady lovers, spouses or people we are beginning to build an intimacy with Xxx, rivers of come, steady flowing streams of arousal are nice to shoot for but not realistic. We might think watching porn stars do it is hot and they do seem to be quite juicy people at all times, but porn sex is not real sex and even if we are managing some Xxx stuff a time or two, it’s not always about how much we release.

Xxx sex is for the youthful, dirty movie actors and those of us with a steady fuck-friend. Yes, we can have some Xxx moments with long-term lovers, our soul mate, a spouse and we can be looking to massage a prostate or be ever diligent going down on our woman, but all that fluid, those swinging from the chandelier moments, the working our skills like a Xxx star just don’t cut it 24/7 for most couples trying to make a living, keep the kids from sexting and meeting one another in bed for maybe a once-a-week romp where the woman might have shaved her legs and the man even cares to brush his teeth. In those sexual encounters we can sneak the very last thing we care about is putting three X’s together or measuring how much fluid we both lost during the sex!

Everyone should try to fuck like a porn star. Imagine how great our sex lives would be if we put that much effort and enthusiasm into sex with our partners. It doesn’t matter what we look like, how old we are or what size pants we wear. Our partners are with us regardless of all of those things, so there is no sense wasting time or energy worrying about things that don’t really matter. So check out this video of porn star Avy Scott and try fucking like that!

Being sexy has a lot to do with being confident and feeling sexy. When we feel sexy, we give off a sexy vibe that is picked up subconsciously by our partner or potential partners, and that makes them perceive us as sexy. It isn’t a requirement for people to look like an underwear model in order to be perceived as sexy. With that in mind, people should take the time to make sure they feel sexy. Wearing clothes and underwear that make them feel sexy will help to boost confidence. When a guy wears something that makes him feel as though he looks like a stud, he’ll exude that studly attitude and confidence. When a woman wears something that makes her feel like a supermodel, she’ll walk and talk and act with the confidence and sexiness of a supermodel and guys will sense that. Taking it one step further, when we want to feel sexy, we can dress and think and act sexy. When we want to have the best sex ever, we can see ourselves as the porn star that we want to be, and we can think, act and fuck like a porn star.

Being sexy and having porn star sex is nearly always all in our heads. We can have hot, porn quality sex every night of the week if we feel sexy and act sexy and decide that we’re going to have porn star sex. The power of positive thinking is an amazing thing that we can all harness anytime we want.

For Men seeking virgins then it was best to find himself a country farmers daughter. These Vestal Virgins were women that were taken into the priesthood and surrounded not only by a very capable guard unit but also surrounded with a mystical quality that kept them as a standard and example of the purity of the gods and their relationship with Rome. To sully this then was an affront and an insult to the gods and would surely bring down punishment from on high. For the Romans religion was not a very spiritual thing, for them it was very much a business oriented relationship. You prayed to the gods and made the appropriate sacrifices and in turn the gods would answer your prayer or bless you in whatever capacity was expected. If the god did not then you were perfectly within your rights to go appeal to another god and so on down the line until you got what you wanted. There were rituals to be observed and honors to be given and it was believed that to not do this was to be dishonorable in one’s bargain between Rome and her gods. For the Romans the gods were very different than the Greeks.

In Roman belief systems the gods were very busy doing other things and had little time to come down and physically speak with them, much less interact in any way. The gods did, like the Greeks, occasionally come down but this was a very rare occurrence and much at odds with their Greek counterparts who seemed to be popping down to the mortal world on just about every other weekend.

They treasured and valued a keen mind and a sharp wit as much as they did a strong sword arm. If a man could successfully bring down a raid with few casualties and little bloodshed it brought as much glory to his name as did a great battle. It was also cheaper too and cost less in terms of manpower, energy and money to replace casualties taken to hire new swords. This naturally meant that you could extend your reach and raid even more, which meant, more booty. Rape was also one of their tools and seizing the local pussy and making off with the women to fuck them and make them their own lessened the morale of any would be defenders. So in its own way Sex served a greater purpose beyond just Sex for it’s own sake. It helped spread the viking terror and bring them more victory, with fewer stiff opposition. This in itself was a sort of cleverness.

The vampire is a killer, it is a serial killer, and the one thing it certainly isn’t is someone that you would want to fuck regardless of how attractive they were. They exist only to feed and even under the best of circumstances would it find it extremely trying just to keep their desires at bay. The problem has come from too many writers turning the vampire into a heroic sort of character and one that people adore. This flies in the face of their and truer and more natural state. Even a vampire with the very best of intentions would find it tempting to eat their professed friend. If a vampire really existed in the modern sense of the creature they would be almost animal like in their habits. Most of their waking hours would be spent on the hunt and either feeding or setting up an opportunity to feed. Then they would be off to their safe place to rest and recuperate until the next time. Contrary to what most people believe they would not spend a whole lot of time waxing poetic about their existence. They wouldn’t have time.

Another fact would be their physical state. In order to survive on a strictly blood diet they would need to consume a tremendous quantity of blood and this would likely leave corpses all over the place. They wouldn’t likely observe such niceties as taking just a little and leaving the person alive to tell about the tale. Then there would be the consequences. With that many people dead in the area it wouldn’t be long before a hunt for the hunter would be on.