It would be naive to think Courtney Stodden didn’t have breast implants before her latest, so called, “first” boob job. This girl has been rocking a perfect set of huge tits for years, and if they were real, then it’s a damn shame that she took it upon herself to change perfection. Really though, her previous boobs were as fake as her age. 18? More like 40. Look at her crows feet!

If there’s one thing we can agree on at Orgasm.com however, it’s that Courtney Stodden looks like a pornstar. Take a look at Nikki Benz in our Pornstar Directory. Can you really tell the difference between the two? I know, I know, it’s hard to concentrate on either of their faces, but even if you look hard, they’ve both had so much plastic surgery that they basically look the same.

The phenomena of the hot blonde with huge tits was started by Marilyn Monroe back in the 1960s. But if check out Marilyn, she’s not under 100 pounds like Courtney Stodden. She couldn’t be – she needed some weight to rock D Cups. Pamela Anderson was the woman who popularized breast implants, showing you could go fake and stay famous, and even have anal sex with a rock star like Tommy Lee. Pamela’s fame hasn’t waned either, despite being a box office flop, and starring in one of the worst TV shows of all time – VIP.

So the lesson here is that cosmetic enhancement will return on its investment and make you a ton of money as a model. Unfortunately for Courtney Stodden, Playboy turned down her public offer to appear nude for them. Apparently she’s too SLEAZY, even for Playboy.

Above, you’ll see Courtney Stodden’s ass hanging out of a thong bikini. This comes off as a desperate attempt to hold on to minor fame and lure the paparazzi in to photograph her. Hell, we wouldn’t have been interested, but her new breasts are hypnotizing. See if you can look at them for more than a minute without going cross-eyed? We can’t.

If you’re a porn fan, and since you’re here I’m assuming most of you are, the example Stodden is setting for America’s young women is a good one. Imagine a world where all women had breast implants, and worked hard on their appearance. It would look like this orgy porn video starring Penny Flame and friends.

So in conclusion, God Bless Courtney Stodden. She’s a hot whore who looks like a pornstar, and she has the rest of California turning to plastic surgery to please their boyfriends. Being one of those boyfriends I’m going to stop asking why and start grabbing tits like it’s Mardi Gras.

Gord McCord out!

As soon as the tweet hit the net, TMZ reported that Stodden was never offered a contract with Playboy and that she made the whole thing up.

You’ve got to feel pretty damn low to get turned down by Playboy when you have the exact cookie cutter figure Hugh Heffner tends to feature in his magazine. But then again, Stodden is terribly annoying and even a bit too trashy for Playboy.

Luckily for her, she’s not the only one who has been rejected by Playboy. Here is a look at 7 other broads who have been given the thumbs down:

Kate Gosselin

Just because she had 8 kids, or 12, or whatever it was, doesn’t mean her body isn’t up to par! Have you seen her post plastic surgery? She actually looks pretty damn good! But that fact didn’t hurt her chances at posing for Playboy, it was actually Hef himself who said he had no interest in her for unknown reasons.

Audrina Patridge

Remember those topless pics that were “leaked” onto the internet. Well, Patridge actually hired someone to take those pics so she could send them into Playboy. Clearly Playboy didn’t like what they saw because they never published them or even offered her a gig.

Kelly Osbourne

Hef might actually be kicking himself in the ass right now because back in 2006 Osbourne said she would love to pose for Playboy. Hef said that she wouldn’t make the cut, which wasn’t very surprising because she was fat, ugly, and scary looking back then. Now she’s hot. I wonder if Hef would change his mind.

Bridget from The Girls Next Door

After a couple of failed test shots she got rejected from being a playmate. But, Hef still invited her into his brothel of babes. Clearly this rejection was a good thing. She’s now cashin’ out! $$$

Britney Spears

Well, she wasn’t exactly rejected per se. But Playboy reps said they would love to feature her…once she stoped being so cray cray. This was back in 2007 when she shaved her head.

A Real Housewife

Luann De Lesepps was all pissed off when her co-star announced she was doing Playboy. She went on a rant saying “How come no one asked me!”

Shirley Jones

The mom from “The Partridge Family” might be pushing 80, but that didn’t stop her from taking some super sexy test shots. Hef eventually rejected the pictures though because he was “expecting more nudity”. Even though the rejection was a diss, the fact that Hef wanted to see more nudity on a senior citizen has got to make a girl feel pretty damn good.