Posts Tagged ‘Blow Job’

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Car Sex

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Every couple-bi, hetero or gay-knows how boring a long car ride can be. XM radio, cooler full of cold sodas, CDs not withstanding, long drives can be filled with a lot of sameness even if there are great sights to see and places to stop. The prudish couple wouldn’t dare risk it, but for the more sexually adventurous or just one’s with a little more active libido-or on a first date-a little sexual activity between partners could make the drive a little less tedious and the interior of the car a little warmer and a lot more like free porn.

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It doesn’t necessarily need to be said how far you and your partner might want to go, how much of your clothes will be flipped off, when and where you might pull over, if you pull over at all; usually the specifics are worked out as you drive and touch and tickle. Road head is usually where it all starts. Though certainly a dangerous pursuit, no male drivers is about to complain about this specific distraction. Best that the couple engaging in a quick driving blow job stay to deserted back roads or get to the side of the road just before the man comes.

The driver will want to steer clear of potholes as well. It’s always hotly debate whether backseat gropping or front seat necking is hotly is best. While the backseat certainly offers lovers room to stretch out without the worry of as steering wheel in one’s hip, it is doubly hard to extricate one’s self from the backseat if the police decide to pull over an roust you from your make-shift love nest. Car sex need not only be in the car to. There is a nice warm expanse of the hood awaiting the horny couple and in a deserted parking lot or in the middle of a field, the hood of a car, while slippery to some, can be the very best place to fuck on.

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So many people can recall their very first sexual experiences being in cars or the car’s radio providing the soundtrack to their very first awakenings of love and closeness with another human being. Our cars are more then just transportation, for some they were the only private spaces we had to be alone with the guy or girl we loved and the very first place some of us got to see the alluring naked body part of a person we were infatuated with.

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Holiday Porn

Friday, December 24th, 2010

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I’ve been rather disappointed by the current state of holiday porn (“holiday.” That’s right, not Christmas, not Chanukah, not Kwanza . . . Holiday). It seems the best offer this season has for my meat-pounding wishes is the same ‘ole gym-buffed model-type, doing the usual pornographic posturing, but in red panties and a Santa hat. A Santa hat. It’s not even like the hat is getting fucked. Sometimes the diehard festive types leave the hat on for the initial blow job, but by the time the dude in the Santa suit (Yes. Always some dude in a Santa suit) gets to sodomizing our little Cunt Cringle in her fruit cake hole, that hat is long gone and buddies fake beard is laying on the floor. For all practical purposes we are now watching the same old porn we’ve seen a thousand times with one exception. There is a Santa hat on the floor.

When do I get to watch some dick hard clit jockey finger a snowman? Is that little dentist elf ever going to slowly unbutton his adorable wee blue waist coat and cobble himself to climax before the Bumble Snow Monster whips his hairy milk-white monster cock out and escorts a handful of misfit sex toys up his Yeti chute? Need I remind you that the snow monster had his teeth removed? Slut in a red bikini and a Santa Hat is fine, but maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t mind having a hot rub inside that toothless furry Monster face. Maybe I’d like to watch some herd mammal with a glowing red anus help the jolly old elf find more than his way.

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Porn Mongers! Step it up! I want 8-way menorah penetrations. Gift-wrapping bondage. Icicle fucking. The Grinch that stole your Penicillin. Anal dradles. Charlie Brown with the smallest, least celebratory, withered little prick and a beagle in a leather flight helmet. Rabbis with gingerbread dildos riding polar bears and juggling buttock implants across a snow-laden field on their way to Grandma’s house for oven mitt HJ’s shot into candy-filled stockings.

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The Favor

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

“So, how was school?” Chad’s mom asked as her son went to the refrigerator for some milk to go with the two chocolate chip cookies in his hand.

“Pretty good. I think I aced the physics test and I think I did okay on the Brit Lit exam to.”

“Good,” his mother replied, “you have a visitor waiting for you up in your bedroom.”

Chad quickly spun around with his eyes narrowing.

His mother inhaled and with a slump of her shoulders replied softly: ”It’s Brandy, she got here five minutes before you did.”

“Mom,” Chad moaned with a whisper, “I told you I didn’t want to see her anymore, she just won’t leave me alone.”

“I feel so sorry for her, eighteen year old girls need to be treated with care Chad. When a woman reaches that age she has certain…well…you know how it is.”

Chad stood sullenly as his mother continued: “Do me a favor and go up and see her, she won’t stay long, I’m sure. Just try to be nice to her, okay?”

“Jesus, mom,” Chad said, gulping back his milk. “You know she just wants to suck my cock, don’t you.”

“I know dear,” Chad’s mom replied gently, “I know. I know.”

Chad threw a deep brown-eyed stare at his mother.

“Please, Chad, just take care of her, I’d really appreciate it.” While shaking his head from side to side, Chad finally broke down and replied: ”Okay, but this is the last time, Brandy is just gonna have to find another guy to suck.”

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When he opened the door to his bedroom, he found Brandy sitting on the edge of the bed reading his latest issue of ‘Sports Illustrated’. ”

“Hi, Chad,” the petite red head said. “I didn’t mean to impose, but…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chad said coming into his room proper. As he walked to the bed he unsnapped his jeans. With her chin to her rather massive chest-ok, that was the part of the girl Chad would never tired of-Brandy remained quiet and still as Chad let his pants fall and came to her.

“Thank you, you don’t know what this means to me,” the girl said finally looking up when Chad was a half foot from her. She smiled to the tent facing her in the boy’s bright blue boxers and scooted to the edge of the bed, placed her hands out and around Chad’s popping cock.

Working him through his boxers, Brandy angled herself even closer to the boy’s crotch as Chad looked down.

“Last time Brandy, really,” he said over her as the girl manipulated his erection through the soft material, literally licking her thick lips in anticipation.

“Do we agree, last time?” Chad continued, as Brandy squirmed on his bed, pulling at his cock.

“I won’t bare it, won’t let you see it, let alone suck it, unless you agree.”

“Yes, yes, the girl moaned, a wild look in her green eyes-like her tits, Brandy’s eyes were another feature of this girl Chad really liked-as she looked up at the boy standing over her.

“Please, Chad, just let me suck, please.”

“Agree Brandy, really” Chad said trying to hold his own as the girl massaged his cock through his shorts.

Yes, Brandy had a way of touching his cock that was just wonderful. The tall boy spied a pinpoint stain of pre come showing through his boxers.

“Yes, I agree I agree,” Brandy cried, “Please just let me give you a blow job…”

“Go ahead,” Chad said, closed his eyes, lean his head back and the girl below him peeled down his boxers and let his thick seven inches bounce free.

Brandy was good, Chad had to give her that. She had perfect thick lips-lips Chad really did love-and she swallowed his whole cock as she always did, down to the hilt. The girl really had porn skills, it was just that Chad wished she’d use them on someone else from time to time, but then again if she did that that would mean less time that Brandy would be here beneath him sucking his cock.

What a quandary!

“Ermm hummff,” he girl said all but gagging on his thickening erection and Chad nearly jumped when Brandy began to tickle his balls with her free hand. She got right under him, pushed a knuckle up into his taint and Brad felt what he knew would be the count down to him coming in this girl’s mouth not more then a minute from then.

He really did like the way Brandy worked his balls with her hand when she sucked his cock.

The door to the bedroom opened and Chad looked to see his mom come in and smile.

“I’m so glad you two get along so well,” she said, Brandy sucked as hard as she could and Chad came a thick hot fount down her throat.

Mothers do know best, Chad reasoned as he fed Brandy every last drop of his balls realizing that this wouldn’t be the last time.

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Fashion Secrets: A List Of The Sexiest Female Accessories

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

Women are mysterious creatures. This is one of the reasons that female sex appeal dominates the advertising industry – men want to see behind the unknowable veneer that the sexiest women know how to project. However, if you’re looking for cracks in that veneer, look no further than a woman’s purse. A purse is like the Holy Grail – trade secrets abound, even things that you wouldn’t expect. So let’s take a look at the sexiest accessories a woman can carry and what those accessories mean.

Red Lipstick: Red is the color of lust – people with red cars get into more accidents, people who wear red clothing get into more fights. There’s something of passion in red, and hot red lipstick is designed to attract you to a woman’s lips. So, whether you’re picturing your lady giving you a blow job or simply undoing your pants with her teeth, beware this trade secret!

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Panties: If a woman is carries a pair of panties in her purse, that generally means she isn’t wearing any! While we love thongs and g-strings as much as the next guy, there’s nothing like a girl who forgoes panties altogether, and lets you know about it by carrying her pair in her purse. This is a clear sign that a girl wants to be fucked – so what are waiting for! Get over there and bust a move.

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Gum: It’s a fact that nearly all men have an oral fixation. Chewing gum has no purpose – there are mints to freshen your breath, there’s food to eat – and women keep their jaws moving for one reason. Exercise so they can suck your cock. Don’t forget that when she’s going down on you later!

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A Gun: Undoubtedly the sexiest accessory a woman can carry in her purse. Guns are nearly unnecessary these days since the invention of pepper spray and mace, but dangerous women have dangerous habits. Make sure your girl isn’t a spy before you climb into bed with her (after all, she may leave you tied up) – however dating a girl with a gun is all it’s cracked up to be. A tactile experience that’s bound to get a little wild!

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The Mile High Club #2

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

“…..we’ll be cruising at an altitude of 33,000 feet with an air speed of 480 knots, the weather is clear and we should reach Houston right on time, and thank you for flying World Air!.” Emma Burton stared out the window at the fading lights of Seattle’s skyline, then turned to the dog-eared soft cover in her lap.

“That’s one of his better ones,” she heard a soft voice say and the sixty two year old woman looked up to the bright face of the young man sitting next to her.

Emma had somewhat noticed the tall boy when she had had to crawl past his high knees a half-hour earlier, but with all the preflight jostling and cramped space she really had kept her attention out the window.

Now though… ”I have a prejudice for my home town writers,” she said.

“I go to school in Seattle,” the handsome brown-haired blue-eyed boy said. “But I’m a native Texan, gotta get home for my cousin’s wedding.”

“I’m going to see the grandkids,” Emma said taking the hand the boy was offering.

“My name is Parker Price.”

Despite herself Emma tittered slightly.

“Everybody laughs the first time,” P.P. said smiling and holding her with his deep blue eyed.

He really was adorable, Emma thought, probably only a few years older then her eldest grandson, quite a good-looking fresh-faced Texas boy with an easy, slightly verbose manner; perfect company for this flight.

Talking, joking and sipping a few drinks between then (Parker was at least old enough to drink, Emma mused) the older woman and young man enjoyed their conversation until about half way through the flight when Parker yawned, excused himself and yawned again.

“I hope it’s not the company,” Emma said.

“I’m sorry,” Parker said putting down his second wine. “I just got no sleep last night, we…well…frats can get crazy sometimes. Believe me Emma,” and here the boy stopped to fix her again with his amazing blue eyes. “The company is amazing.”

Feeling she was blushing like a bride, Emma quickly changed the subject.

“I really want to get into this for a bit,” she said raising her book between them. “Get a couple of winks and I’ll wake you in a bit so we can talk until we land, ok?”

“Ok,” Parker said and turned from her slightly.

In less than a minute Parker was asleep while Emma turned on her overhead light and returned to reading her book. This was a good a time as any to get a really good look at the boy, she thought, something she had wanted to do the minute he began speaking to her. Sure she was old enough to be Parker’s gran, but why not have a little look see for curiosity sake. And besides, didn’t they always say ‘things’ were bigger in Texas?

Studying Parker’s broad chest, his thick legs, Emma took her time looking over her book’s edge before she stared hard at the boy’s crotch. It was thick, it was nice and heavy, it was…growing! Parker’s penis seemed to be stiffening in his sleep. So much so the boy stirred, opened his eyes and caught the lady watching.

“I…uh…” he said rolling and shucking.

“Parker, a woman my age has seen a few erections in her time,” she said and the boy relaxed slightly.

“I’m sorry, I just…”

“You should use that as soon as possible, mustn’t’ let a beautiful cock like that go to waste.”

Parker smiled at the woman’s use of such a pointed, dirty word.

“Maybe I will,” he said, unbuckled his seatbelt and stood from his seat.

Emma watched the boy’s fine high ass as he walked to the back bathroom of the quiet plane. A minute later she folded the paperback in the sleeve in front of her, unbuckled as well, stood to straighten her skirt and made her way back to the same bathroom. Making sure no flight attendants were present nor no passengers awake and looking, Emma knocked on the skinny door and Parker opened it. She walked in to the tight closet-sized room to find the boy sitting on the closed toilet lid, naked from the waist down, his huge purpling erection in his hands.

“They do say things are bigger in Texas,” Emma said securing the door behind her.

“I…I am just so, well, you made me really horny,” Parker began. “I was dreaming about you doing…”

“…something like this?” Emma asked, got to her knees and lean in to take the boy’s popping penis into her mouth.

Parker lean back in the cramped space as the willowy regal woman, old enough to be his grandmother, began to give him the best blow job he had ever felt in his life.

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Bad in Bed: Damage Control

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

So you’ve met someone you’re into and you can’t wait to fuck the living daylights out of them. That is – until you get into their pants and they start doing some kind of silly buggers game that does not do anything for you. What gives?

There’s no nice way to tell someone they’re bad at kissing or suck at blow jobs, but the most effective approach is to make it about you. Start by telling them they are a wonderful kisser, blower, fucker, fister, or whatever is most applicable to your situation.

The most important thing to remember is to make” I” statements. This will allow you to help your partner get involved with raising up his or her skill level without saying that’s what you’re doing. Tell them you want to teach them how to blow or fuck or kiss you the way you want to be blown, fucked or kissed. Just tell them; give them the option of doing it right.

We all generally have fragile egos. Sometimes, though, we believe that they’re even more fragile than they really are. In all likeliness, your partner wants to make whatever it is they are doing work for you, and doesn’t think they’re the reincarnation of the world’s greatest porn star. Most people have learned ways that work for them and if your partner is tuned and you use the right kind of language about your own experience, they should be able to recognize that what you’re doing is best for both of them.

Talk in specifics and walk them through what you want. Break it down and show them step by step what works. Once they understand that they can pick it up more naturally and move from there. Whatever chemistry got you to where you are should work in tandem with these tips you provide. There was something that drew you together, and if you can get your physical needs to line up with them, you should be bouncing off the walls, or pussies and cocks, in no time.

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Piercings For Your Pleasure: Body Piercing Can Heighten Your Sexual Enjoyment.

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

In the 21st century, body modification has become a go-to art for the disenfranchised and creatively inclined. It can be harder to find people who aren’t pierced these days than those that are, and much of that has to do with sexuality. While women have pierced their ears for centuries, piercings have long had unexplored sexual potential that has been unleashed on a young and horny generation. So what can body piercing do for you? Read on to find out!

The most mainstream piercing that screams sex is the tongue piercing. When you see a girl with her tongue pierced you know she hasn’t done it for herself, she’s done it for the guys she’s blowing – who wouldn’t want a hottie with a steel bar through her tongue putting her mouth around their dick? There’s nothing like an added bonus when getting a blow job. Besides we like to get blown by women who have invested in our cock enough to have their tongues permanently altered to add to our pleasure.

While a pierced tongue is great when pleasuring your partner, be you male or female, what about your own pleasure? Perhaps the hottest piercing in terms of stimulation is nipple piercing. Men who get their nipples pierced are often heard complaining that they have an erection for days. Who would complain about that other than frequent viagra users? Pussies, that’s who!

Of course, clit piercings are the female equivalent of nipple piercings for men (although we have it on good authority that women’s nipples are essentially wired to their clits, so they essentially get to double their pleasure). Besides pinpointing female pleasure, clit rings are like bulls-eyes on women who need to get fucked. So boys, don’t blow it if you reach into a girl’s panties and feel her clit ring – that should be a guarantee that you’ll be sticking your cock in her slam-slot soon!

So be pierced and feel the pleasure! You won’t regret it.

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