Armchair movie critics are everywhere, but how many of them have you watched deepthroat a massive cock? Or Lick a pussy so well that you wish you could give them an Academy Award for their performance? We’ll just assume not too many of them. That’s all about to change though, some of the best and hottest Pornstars from Vivid Entertainment gave a few of their predictions and now we have them here for you.

Ash Hollywood

Best Picture-Gravity
Best Actor-Leonardo DiCaprio
Best Actress-Sandra Bullock
Best Director-Martin Scorsese

Ashley Blue

Best Picture – 12 Years a Slave
Best Actor – Bruce Dern for Nebraska
Best Actress – Amy Adams for American Hustle
Best Director – Martin Scorsese for The Wolf of Wall Street

Brandy Aniston

Best Picture – The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Actor – Matthew McConaughey
Best Actress – Sandra Bullock
Best Director – Martin Scorsese for The Wolf of Wall Street

Kendall Karson 

Best Picture – The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Actor – Matthew McConaughey
Best Actress – Sandra Bullock
Best Director – Martin Scorsese

Mary Carey

Best Picture – American Hustle
Best Actor – Christian Bale
Best Actress – Amy Adams
Best Direcor – David O. Russell

Penny Paxx

Best Picture – Gravity
Best Actor – Leonardo DiCaprio
Best Actress – Amy Adams
Best Director – David O. Russell

Savanna Samson

Best Picture – Gravity
Best Actor – Matthew McConaughey
Best Actress – Meryl Streep
Best Director – Alfonso Cuaron

So, do you agree with any of the pornstars choices? I think what we can all agree on is that although some of their choices might be great, they should stick to what they do best, Porn! Don’t forget, you can find these girls and tons of other pornstars free porn videos on Orgasm.com!

Teen Mom reality TV star Farrah Abraham, who recently paid male Porn Star James Deen to fuck her in the ass on camera, and then sold the pornographic video to Vivid Entertainment for almost $1M can now been seen around the Internet in the preview for the film.

Farrah Abraham got famous for being a young teen slut and being put on reality TV to be paraded around like a side show of Barnum & Baileys to generate a flood of false idols for confused young teen girls all over the world. But that’s all over now. Farrah is desperate, and has turned to porn to solidify her fame. Thank God for celebrity sex tapes. So how does Farrah’s stack up?

The first thing you’ll notice is that this is a professional production. It’s been shot by Vivid Pictures, and Farrah is working with pornstar James Deen. The slickness is almost shocking at first – it’s hard to believe this is Farrah’s first time on film. She has all the mannerisms of a pornstar, right from the use of the word baby, to fake moaning that will make you cringe (or cum, depending on your level of perversion).

Farrah looks the part of a porn slut too, with big breast implants, and fake nails and hair. The most impressive part is how good she is at anal – apparently she started having anal sex at age 15, before she even let her boyfriend stick his dick in her pussy. Way to save yourself for Jesus girl! Really though, she’s basically become the living embodiment of pornography, and one wonders if she even know how to fuck with tenderness or love.

So what’s the moral lesson of Farrah’s sex tape for teen girls? Well, for one, she promotes the objectification of the female body. Feminists everywhere will be pissed off. But the real lesson is that porn is a good way to make money. Unfortunately for Teen Mom, this is probably a one time gig, because no one is going to pay her over a million dollars to shoot another video when she’s already given up her asshole on film. James Deen is a genius for making that happen!

The media circus around the tape itself has been interesting. Farrah still claims that the tape was for her personal use only and that she had no intention of selling it, and has feuded with James Deen over this fact. Their insults have escalated to the point where Farrah made the claim that James has a small dick. This is a strange claim, considering that everyone has seen it, and that Mr. Deen has appeared in over 2000 porn films. We at Orgasm.com can confirm that it’s basically average size.

Recently Farrah appeared on Howard Stern to discuss the tape, and their conversation ranged from bowel movements to the fact that she has sex in the tape without a condom. Apparently when she got pregnant she was on the pill, but she hasn’t learned her lesson and still doesn’t use protection. I guess when you get fucked in the ass the majority of the time, you don’t really need it.

Ultimately, the question is whether this publicity stunt will work. Sure, millions of men everywhere have masturbated to Farrah’s sex tape, but will it fade into the public consciousness like the tapes shot by Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian?  Kardashian especially has done a wonderful job of promoting herself as a celebrity first, and distancing herself from porn despite the fact that she made her name by fucking on film.

Whatever the answers to these questions, you can always sit and enjoy pictures of Farrah in the nude. Check out Farrah Abraham look alike Sunny Leone on Orgasm.com for more free pics and videos!

After all, many user-uploaded porn sites rely on the “safe harbor” loophole in the DMCA that assumes that user-uploaded sites aren’t aware when their content is copyright-infringing. As long as these sites delete the content when demanded, they’re in the clear as far as the DMCA is concerned.

The twist on this scenario that’s been happening in the porn industry occurs on user-uploaded porn tubes. A recent Xbiz article alleges that some porn tubes are knowingly uploading infringing content (or paying others to do it for them) then removing the videos when requested. Once a video’s been removed, however, it’s then sent back to the upload department who re-uploads it. Xbiz argues that this cycle is causing the porn industry immensely. In fact, USA Today quoted Steve Hirsch, founder of Vivid Entertainment, as saying that DVD sales plunged 20% last year.

While such changes are affecting the industry, it’s important to keep in mind that not all porn tubes are alike. Yes, some porn tubes are allegedly uploading content under the guise of user-uploaded content. However, other porn tubes, like Orgasm.com, actually function under affiliate partnership deals. This means that 100% of our content is legally obtained through the relationships we have with the porn studios who created it. Just remember: not all free porn is bad and not everything you hear about porn tubes applies to us.

It’s been a bumpy road for Santorum anyway. First of all, the guy’s mental. Not like, oh look at my friend Tony, he’s mental because he just slammed an entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Santorum’s more like the kind of mental you stay away from. He’s the uncle everyone has that spends Thanksgiving dinner telling you how you’re committing a huge sin by dating a black chick then gets blind drunk and falls asleep with his hands on his crotch, dreaming of free HD porn. He probably lets out a fart or two that smell worse than a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and you and your dad have the unholy mission of waking him up before he wets himself. Fists are thrown, usually after you take away his keys and insist that he not drive home because of the entire box of wine he consumed. So yeah, Santorum is mental, which is why Vivid Entertainment’s Steven Hirsch told Politico that Rick is “bad for the country” and that people “are more comfortable with sexually explicit material than before”. He’s right. Everyone loves porn. Especially porn from Vivid.

The Vivid co-founder and chairman continued with, “this country has some bigger problems that they have to deal with than whether or not someone’s watching an adult film on their computer”. He’s right again, I mean we’ve got more important things to worry about as a country than people watching free HD porn, like the Albert Pujols contract. If we people want to watch sex movies, who cares? If Albert Pujols doesn’t hit, it’s a huge deal. Wait, what are we talking about? Oh yeah, Santorum. Hirsch went on to say that Rick’s claims that the porn industry hurts women were completely false. “The girls run the industry, they’re the ones that make all the decisions,” Vivid Entertainment’s head honcho said. He’s right yet again, because if you think Lexi Marie is letting people tell her what to do, you are sadly mistaken.

As Pennsylvania’s favorite pain-in-the-ass Senator prepares to do whatever he does when he’s not running for president, (play with his jiggly ball maybe?), Hirsch is relishing in Rick’s decision to suspend his campaign. With Santorum’s exit from the presidential race the XXX industry can rest easy for the time being until Mitt Romney decides it’s time to take on Vivid and the rest of the free HD porn makers.

Nadya Sulemon had a promising life ahead of her. Just kidding! She probably has borderline personality disorder and needs to be institutionalized. Anyhoo, TMZ is reporting that Octomom was being offered a cool million to appear in sex movies but now her market value has plumeted because she posed topless for $10,000.

Who wants to see those tits? She has 14 kids, eight of which were in the womb at the same time! I don’t want to see Nadya Sulemon’s tits, I want to see Nadia Hilton topless. At least those boobs aren’t attached to a crazy person.

Vivid Entertainment’s  Steve Hirsh offered Octomom million dollar porn offers in 2009, 2010 and as recently as last week. Octomom, turned him down because she felt it demeaned her, until now when she realized she could make a ton of money as a porn star. However, after learning that she had posed topless for $10,000 he rescinded the $1 million offer because he claims her market value has gone down. Instead of having a guy go down on her in various sex movies, she decided to show her tits for $10,000.

Hirsch sent Octomom another offer to star in a XXX adult film on Monday. This time it was only for $100,000. That’s not enough money for a single mother with 14 mouths to feed. Looks like her family’s going to be dining at the Y from now on because mama ruined her future career as a porn star before it even began.

According to reliable news source TMZ, Hazel Jones was approached by Vivid, one of our favorite porn studios to appear in some sex movies. Steve Hirsch, head of Vivid apparently offered Double Pussy Galore $1 million to star in some skin flicks. I don’t know, man. Is the world ready to see that kind of XXX action? This brings double penetration to a whole new level.

The name of Miss Jones’ condition is called uterus didelphys. Sounds like a dinosaur, doesn’t it? I think I saw porn once called “Attack Of The Killer Cervix” wherein a giant uterus didelphys wreaked havoc on a dick. Anyway, the condition occurs when the septum that divides the uterus in development fails to break down and allows the two halves to fuse into one. Gross. I know I should be mature about this, but I can’t even sit through an episode of St. Elsewhere (80s reference!) without cringing. I’m really squeamish. My DJ name would be DJ Gets Nauseous.

Hazel Jones realized there was something different about her when she was 14 after she got her period twice. If I had two dicks, I’d notice that way before I turned 14. Didn’t she go for checkups? How could her doctor not notice that? “Well Hazel, let’s take a look down there. One pussy, wait, two pussies?!?”

I feel for Hazel, but I’m hoping she decides to leave the sex movies to chicks who have one pussy, like Savanna Samson. Double Pussy Galore herself has not formally responded to Vivid’s offer to turn her into a XXX star. However, the Daily Mail reports that she is not interested in becoming a two-pussied porn star.

I think Keanu Reeves said it best in The Matrix, when he said, “Whoa!”

As in ‘Whoa, check out that ass!. Some pics released from the film show the barely legal Montana Fishburne showing off her booty, and I, for one, must give it a review of one cock up, way up.
‘
While some aspiring actresses get their inspiration from Meryl Strip, I mean Streep, Montana has been influenced by non other than role model for young sluts everywhere, Kim Kardashian, who rose to fame by being in a sex tape. It so happens the same company, Vivid Entertainment, that distributed the Kardashian sex-tragavana, as well as former Playboy playmate and Hugh Hefner’s ex Kendra Wilkinson’s infamous sex tape, is also handling the release of the Montana Fishburne video. So she’s in good company, you could say.

Montana has specifically said that Kardashian was her inspiration.

“I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape by Vivid,” Fishburne said in the press release.” I’m hoping the same magic will work for me. I’m impatient about getting well-known and having more opportunities and this seemed like a great way to get started on it.”

Her father, the oscar nominated actor Laurence Fishburne, probably wouldn’t mind having a word with Kardashian right about now.

Montana has not spoken to her father since news of the video was released, but says that she hears from relatives that her father is “upset.” Gee, you think he would have a sense of humor about seeing his teenage daughter show off her cock sucking skills to the world.

In response to her father’s potential reaction, Montana said “I hope it’s not hurting him. It wasn’t done to hurt him,” she says. “But I think it will take time and talking through the issues. Eventually, I hope he will be proud of me.”

Sorry to tell you this sweetheart, but you’re Dad is never going to say to his friends, ‘look at how well my little girl takes a cream pie, I’m so proud of her.’ Not in this reality anyway.

Hustler Video steals a little thunder from Vivid Entertainment today with the announcement that they have a 75 minute tape, shot as recently as this past September, that purportedly sports a bunch of romping with the hated reality star and an unnamed gentleman.

As an aside: the term “unnamed gentleman” really needs to be added to our current list of vocabulary words. And by added I mean, get USED TO IT folks. Seems that with every starlet who gets caught “off-guard” there’s a “unnamed gentleman” in the wings walking bow-legged because of all the cash stuffed into his boot cut jeans. And unlike the case of Kendra Wilkinson, I really wish they’d remain just that; UNNAMED.

In any case, there are a slew of photos circulating the interwebs showcasing the mother of two’s lovely attributes, and puts to rest the question of whether or not I’ll have to bitch about the release of this tape too. The pictures aint bad, admittedly. She seems to be an attractive enough MILF, with a sense of playfulness about her. Especially in the shots where she’s holding the camera (can’t say you didn’t want to do it, there Danielle). I’ve also seen the artwork so Hustler obviously has this on the fast track.

YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS about all this? The more this shit happens, the less likely my wife (and the wives and girlfriends of you fine folks) is gonna be comfortable inviting Mr. Sony into the bedroom. I mean, I didn’t really expect it anyway…but it’s always been there in the back of the visual stimulator.

So thanx a lot Vivid and Hustler. You’re messing up my private stock.

You know what I love about sex tapes? Seeing your favorite celebrities (or ones you can’t stand but still wouldn’t mind seeing naked) doing the nasty. You know what I can’t stand about sex tapes…?

SOAP BOX OUT.

Sex is already awkward. And if you don’t agree then you watch too many romantic comedies. Sure, we all get our groove with a partner we’ve been with for 3 years but there is no such thing as a successful one night stand. The favorable memories are either what you’ve kidded yourself into thinking it was, what your drunk brain interpreted it as, or the story you concocted for your friends. So really, by its very nature, the sex tape can’t be that cool, sexy thing you hope for.

Take for example the case of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. Sure, she is (by most standards) “HOT.” And Tommy Lee indeed has a impaling mechanism that truly needs to be seen. But early on she makes it clear that she’s not comfortable with the camera and/or the idea of having their innermost intimate moments captured on film. THIS MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.

The same can be said for Paris Hilton. And while honestly, there was a time when someone could’ve told me “Dude did you hear? Paris Hilton just fell off her hooker heels, onto a freeway onramp and got hit by 6 streetracers doing 90!” and I probably would have laughed and collected the money won from years of including her in a ‘Death Pool.’ But once again, she expressed a definite disinterest and apprehension at being recorded in her most vulnerable of states. AND THIS MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that these women were raped. Definitely not. Eventually they did what they usually do best and suckered up to the camera, both with dicks in and out of frame. I’m just realizing that unless the woman on tape is as into it as her male counterpart, the results are generally less than favorable.

Which leads me to former Playboy model and Hugh Hefner GF; Kendra Wilkinson. I have expressed very openly my disdain for this reality show attention whore. She drives me nuts. She has no talent. She has no social worth. She’s retarded. She’s NOT funny. And her laugh makes me want to kill someone. But she now joins the ranks of people I have seen have sex that MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE. And now I feel really sorry for her. But this is where my inner turmoil begins…

From what I understand, if the information I’ve collected is correct, Kendra originally tried to shop the tape herself about a year and a half ago. She’s obviously fine with it being out and, from what I’ve been told, really needed the cash money. Attempts to start a company to handle the sale and distribution were ultimately scrapped and the tape fell by the wayside, except for some release forms that were indeed signed. Flash forward, and the word on the street is that the fat, ugly, DAMN LUCKY, balding, redheaded-redneck who appears “alongside” Kendra, shopped the tape himself. Successfully.

The first thing that pissed me off is that we immediately got a SAD, SHOCKED, and AFRAID FOR HER MARRIAGE Kendra gracing the covers of magazines as far and wide as…well just very far and wide. The story line has since found its way onto her stupid reality show, which makes me throw up a little at each and every teaser ad on TV (YEAH. I watch a lot of E! Don’t judge).

But here’s the thing. This is all bigger than her. Bigger than E! Bigger than personal feelings of sloppy blondes who are ultimately “betrayed” by once trusted boyfriends and confidants. This shouldn’t be found sexy. This shouldn’t turn you on. I don’t really understand anyone who wouldn’t watch this sort of phenomenon and feel a little dirty inside and realize it’s actually not very fun after all. I remember the first time seeing a “Girls Gone Wild” video and immediately thinking there must be a shit-ton of pissed off fathers of drunk daughters, out there seeking revenge on Joe Francis. ESPECIALLY upon hearing that all they receive in return for their model release is a GGW t-shirt. AND “Boys Gone Wild” is even worse!! Sure, it’s entirely consensual, but it’s uncomfortable, and simply translates into gross feelings and the overwhelming need to take a shower (there are few things more awkward than watching some poor shlub do the helicopter and try to jerk his noodle dick while hearing the announcer girl laugh at him from behind the camera).

I’m sure there are those out there who feel differently, and to them I say ‘shame on you.’ Unless someone is expressly looking to be humiliated I don’t think that sort of thing has a place in the bedroom, and by association, our DVD players. Kendra isn’t scarred by her involvement in the tape, it’s been many years and she’s happy, married to a man who loves her, former Philadelphia Eagles receiver; Hank Baskett. But she may have forgotten how that felt in the moment. She had a controlling prick telling her what to do, ignoring her many requests to turn the camera off, zooming in at times after she’d persistently asked him not to. Unfortunately the release of this tape (and she DID ultimately get a cut of it’s profits – being paid an incredible $800k before the tape even hit the shelves) does nothing to help the idea of women empowering themselves through comfortable sexuality and nudity (if they so wish). Instead this is just another creepy attempt to titillate and stimulate the fucktards of the world who only see a naked body and gyrating genitalia. And while I too am a fan of both aforementioned visual perks, my pants are staying on for this one.

SOAP BOX IN.

The reviews I have seen already are just ridiculous. Seriously, you’d think we were talking about “The Godfather.” Don’t believe me? Here’s a sampling:

Writes Chris Sims on his Comics Alliance website: “For one thing, considering how good the costumes are and how new that footage of the Batmobile looks, this might be the first pornographic parody that actually has higher production values than the source material.”

Mike “The Birdman” Dodd of This Week In Geek said the movie is “Fantastic! I haven’t been entertained like this in a really long time. You nailed everything! It’s the coolest porn in the history of mankind.”

And, the créme de la créme: Paul Fishbein, who reviewed the actual movie on AVN’s site, gave it five A’s, his highest rating, and wrote: “Extremely well directed, “Batman XXX: A Porn Parody” never forgets that it’s a sex movie, but it just looks and feels so much like the original that it really works on all levels. This is a can’t-miss hit that should play for years to come on broadcast and VOD platforms and break some DVD sales records as well.”

So run out and get it today. Maybe I’ll see you at The Hustler Store, Hollywood.