According to reliable news source TMZ, Hazel Jones was approached by Vivid, one of our favorite porn studios to appear in some sex movies. Steve Hirsch, head of Vivid apparently offered Double Pussy Galore $1 million to star in some skin flicks. I don’t know, man. Is the world ready to see that kind of XXX action? This brings double penetration to a whole new level.

The name of Miss Jones’ condition is called uterus didelphys. Sounds like a dinosaur, doesn’t it? I think I saw porn once called “Attack Of The Killer Cervix” wherein a giant uterus didelphys wreaked havoc on a dick. Anyway, the condition occurs when the septum that divides the uterus in development fails to break down and allows the two halves to fuse into one. Gross. I know I should be mature about this, but I can’t even sit through an episode of St. Elsewhere (80s reference!) without cringing. I’m really squeamish. My DJ name would be DJ Gets Nauseous.

Hazel Jones realized there was something different about her when she was 14 after she got her period twice. If I had two dicks, I’d notice that way before I turned 14. Didn’t she go for checkups? How could her doctor not notice that? “Well Hazel, let’s take a look down there. One pussy, wait, two pussies?!?”

I feel for Hazel, but I’m hoping she decides to leave the sex movies to chicks who have one pussy, like Savanna Samson. Double Pussy Galore herself has not formally responded to Vivid’s offer to turn her into a XXX star. However, the Daily Mail reports that she is not interested in becoming a two-pussied porn star.

The first hairy pussy was reported when Jesus removed Mary Magdelene’s tattered clothing and laid her down upon a bed of nails with the intentions of turning her cum into wine after he fucked her. “Judas, bro, you gotta come see this! Mary’s pussy looks like your beard”. But to be fair, since she is the whore of God, she probably looked more like Sasha Grey, the hottest pornstar on the face of the earth. So without further ado, the first member of our Hairy Pussy Squad:

#1 Sasha Grey 

Should you find yourself in a situation where you need to eat hair pie, make sure you have the dental floss handy. Getting pubes stuck in your teeth sucks. There was an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry gets one wrapped around his larynx. Poor guy. But maybe if he had been eating out Lexi Belle, one of the hottest young porn harlots in the adult game, he would have died happy. Lexi often sports a hairy pussy, and is partially responsible for its resurgence in modern porn videos. That’s why she’s the second mamber of our Hairy Pussy Squad:

#2 Lexi Belle

If you think about hairy pussies enough, you’ll realize it’s still a bunch of chicks getting fucked, their pussies just have playoff beards. That’s how I like to think of Nicole Aniston, below. Her snatch is one of the porn industry’s mainstays, and it’s consistently hairy: it seem that beard is in with the emo crowd these days. Really though, who doesn’t want to watch porn that reflects how sex looks in the real world? Nicole Aniston might have big fake tits and bleach blonde hair, but her pussy can be unshorn just like the common woman.

#3 Nicole Aniston

The final member of our hairy pussy foursome is Marie McCray. Marie is special because she’s a natural redhead, meaning she sports a full on firebush. Very much like Faye Reagan, another famous redheaded pornstar, she also sports a hairy pussy when she gets her fuck on. Here at Orgasm.com, we’d like to suggest that bush color could be used as an identification method in lieu of DNA – if you want to know if Marie has dyed her hair to conceal her identity just pull down her pants, slide her thong out of the way, and check her pussy!

#4 Marie McCray

You know who has a nice pussy? Free sex starlet Carli Banks. Actually most porn stars have great clam huts. You’d have a beautiful vag too if your job was to get it fucked by giant dicks all day like teenaged Kat in this video. Anyway, without further ado, here’s the list of slang terms for pussy:

axe, hachet  wound, ass mate, bearded oyster, beaver, beef curtains, bikini bizkit, Boston creampie, California angel, Chesapeake Bay, cock holster, cooter, cookie, cherry pop, cat flaps, cha-cha, cho-cha, chuff, furburger, grumble, hairy goblet, honey pot, honeysuckle, hooch, hush puppy, muff, mud flaps, Maryland clam, panty hampster, passion fruit, pink taco, poonany, poontang, southern belle, south, taco, tongue magnet, velcro triangle, vertical bacon sandwich, vertical smile, wonder down under

Each pussy is like a snowflake. There are different makes and models. Here’s some XXX slang to describe a giant snatch: the grand canyon, the great divide, horse’s collar, clown’s pocket, cathedral

Sometimes pussies are tiny and they can be known as: mouse ear, eye of a needle, Little Bo Pussy, mini-meat

Here’s the deal, vaginas are like snowflakes, each one is different. No matter what porno films will have you believe, chicks aren’t built the same and a lot of them don’t cum after four licks. It takes patience my friends, and plenty of it. Here are some tips that will make you a cunnilingus expert.

1. You cannot go down on a dry pussy. It’s akin to a piece of bread and the recipient of your tongue will not find it comfortable. Use your fingers to stimulate the area first. If not you’re going to exhaust all your energy trying to get her wet with your tongue. You don’t want to be down to the two minute warning and realize you’ll need to make a play really quickly.

2. Don’t pull the blankets over your head. Covert operations are for assassination plots on The West Wing. Are you trying to kill Qumari Defense Minister Abdul Sharif or eat some pussy? It gets hot under blankets, stay above the covers when you do some XXX licking.

3. I used to dive right in to the licking but I was told that girls like it when you tease them a little first. Start by tonguing everything but her clit. She’ll lose her mind like Spike Lee at a Knicks game and be begging for you get to the good stuff.

4. You’re about to make your XXX move onto the clit but first you have to isolate the playing field. If it’s level, i.e., there’s no hair then you’re good to go. If her bush looks like Questlove’s afro then you’re going to have to do some digging. Just make sure before you move your tongue into position that you’re not going to choke like Lebron in the 4th quarter on a natty mess of pubic hair.

5. Make the clit your bitch by showing that sucker who’s boss. Pretend the pussy is the other team’s offense and you’re trying to sack the fuck out of their quarterback. It’s a very sensitive area but you can put it in your mouth, flick it around with your tongue. If you get a penalty flag for roughing the passer, so be it.

6. There’s three seconds left and the other team is about to kick a field goal to tie up the game and send it into overtime. Call a time out and ice the kicker. When you notice that your lady is about to cum, remove your mouth from her pussy area and take a quick breather. She will go buck and try and push your head back into her end zone.

7. When you’re done get your team off the field pronto. The clit is very sensitive and needs time to recover after a serious tongue lashing. I also don’t recommend coming up for air and wiping your mouth like you’ve just had a spritz of Gatorade shot into it by a trainer and it’s dripping down your face. Be more gentle about the mouth wiping, some girls can take that the wrong way. Unless you’re going down on a porno star like Melanie Rios then you should probably film it and make a big production of wiping your mouth. And also please send me that XXX porno video. Great. Thanks.

In reality, these things can sometimes be a little more involved. Today on orgasm.com we are showing you how to get your woman to orgasm.

Getting a girl to cum is like climbing Mount Everest.

Similar to going up the side of a treacherous rock, there is more than one way to getting her off. One of the best ways to start, is to watch her masturbate.

Why is watching a girl touch herself so important? So you can see how she likes it.

If she’s rough with herself, pinching her nipples while she finger fucks her pussy, you’ll know that’s ok.

If she plays with her pussy like it’s a baby bird, you’d better be gentle too. Some women use toys, some don’t.

If she whips out her hitachi magic wand, you might want to borrow it when you’re pleasuring her.

Remember, anything goes when it comes to orgasms.

There are different varieties on the female orgasm. The standard clitoral orgasm is the one that most commonly occurs. Then there are the g-spot orgasm and the vaginal orgasms.

So how do you optimize your chances of giving any of these three to a woman?

First, let’s take a look at clitoral orgasms.

These happen by stimulating the clit, softly at first, then with a growing intensity. Think about how she did it to herself and do it that way.

Tell her you could do this all night, that will help her relax.

If you feel like licking her pussy, you can, but it’s not mandatory. Although girl on girl porn does prove that it is quite popular.

The g-spot orgasm is up next.

The g-spot orgasm is often accompanied by squirting, although not always. We did cover how to make a girl squirt in the squirting into porn blog post.

Basically, you put one or two fingers inside of her and do the “come here” look with your fingers, moving toward her front, not the back.

On the outside you stimulate her clit. Really, you’re stimulating the clit, inside and out. It can be fun to do this while she’s on all fours.

Finally…the vaginal orgasm. This is the one that she has when you’re penetrating her.

A little know fact is that close to 75% of all women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.

So how does a vaginal orgasm work? If you’re with the 25%, you have to have sex, for a while and make sure sure that she’s enjoying it. See if she likes it slow, or fast and in what position. After a while, she’ll cum. Lucky you.

If your girl is not part of the 25% but you want her to cum with sex, bring in a vibrator, or rub her clit while you’re fucking. That way she can orgasm when you do. Good times!

Follow these steps and listen to your woman’s body and you should be well on your way to giving her a great orgasm.

As an added bonus, a happy and satisfied girlfriend is always willing to return the favor.

Recently around the water cooler someone asked how many different ways girls can fuck each other. That’s a great question! Want to know the answer? read on.

Obviously from the above you might have guessed what the first position is. That’s right folks!

Number 1. Scissoring! Not just for paper anymore. Girls get off on this by rubbing their clits together.

Scissoring is also known as frottage, but gay men seemed to have overtaken that word online so don’t go google imaging it unless you want to see dudes rubbing their cocks together.

2: Finger fucking. The female version of a hand job. A nice way to say hello to a new pal and to warm up to bigger (maybe a hand) and better things.

3. Fisting: It’s almost like a magic trick watching something as big as a hand going into a hole the size of a marble. I guess that’s what they call the “feminine mystique”.

The ladies love a hand sliding into their slit for the same reason they like a big dick, friction and stimulation.

3. Pussy licking: Girls going down to lunch, eating box, oral sex, flicking the peanut. Whatever you want to call it, the ladies love it, and it’s a delight to watch.

4. Vibrator fucking. Anything a girl can do alone she can do with a friend! Those girls bring new meaning to BFF’s.

5. Strap on sex: This is a great lesbian sex move. Sure you could say that they’re stealing it from men, but who cares? You get to see a girl get fucked by a cock, without having to see a dude in your porn.

As you can see from the picture above, there is some quality fucking going on, with the added bonus of clit rubbing. Strong work ladies!

6. Double headed dildo fucking: Whoever invented this device should be awarded the nobel prize. Lesbians everywhere are happier because of it.

Sources tell us that there are two types of double headers. The straight shape [ I ] and the magic [ L ] shape. Makes sense to us.

7. Anal sex. Sure you could call this a variation on strap on, but what about all those heterosexual positions? They all have dicks in the mix.

8. Breast play: Some girls actually can get off just by having their breasts played with enough. Is there anything breasts can’t do?

9. Bondage and S&M. The occasional straight girl like being called a bitch and fucked like a dog. There are kinksters in the lesbian world as well. These women can have orgasms just by licking their mistresses boots.

10. Footing: Yeah, we went there. Hope those girls wash their feet before they go at it.

Hope you enjoyed this delightful look into the world of lesbians. The cat is now out of the bag when it comes to girl on girl sex.

Spread the news.

Today we’re going to take a trip in a time machine and see how squirting began, when porn picked it up and even a few “how to” tips on getting a girl to shoot, for you.

First lets take a look at the history of squirting. According the the Kama Sutra, the juice squirted from a pussy is called “amrita” which translates to the nectar of the gods (go India!).

Even back in the bible days the Songs of Solomon referred to the vagina as “a fountain waiting to burst”. Good to know that Jesus approves of squirters.

One of the first women to do squirting Porn was Sarah Jane Hamilton. This foxy British redhead was spraying way back in the early 1990′s.

Sadly squirting in porn has been outlawed in England because of the misguided notion that girl ejaculation is piss. Boo! Just to be clear, girl jizz is clear or white and odorless. It’s not yellow and it’s not urine.

Can you get a girl to become a walking water fountain? Around 30-50% of women report squirting, so basically you’ve got a 50/50 chance. We’re going to help you make the most of your odds.

Before you start, pick your liquid licking spot. Prep the area with towels and/or plastic sheeting. If things get wet, you don’t want a ruined couch on your hands.

Most women have to get good and juicy and have clitoral orgasm (or come close to one) before they can do a squirting one. Go down to lunch with your face and hands until your fingers start sounding like boots walking through a swamp.

Now with the middle and index fingers feel behind the pussy bone inside her vagina. In this zone there’ll be a spot that feels a little rougher than the surrounding tissue.

Using a “come hither” motion with your finger start gently rubbing that rough area. It will start to swell and as it does, gradually up the speed.

Soon she’ll start to have a feeling like she has to pee. Get her to push and release as you keep rubbing the spot and licking her clit. This should shove her over the edge and turn on the pussy cum hose.

Remember, this won’t happen with every girl. If the sprinkler is dry, then it just isn’t meant to be. Turn on the squirting porn on orgasm.com and get your fill right here.

God bless America, and all the hot, drunken college girls kissing! Let’s explore why exactly girl on girl action is sooooo great.

If I was given a choice between a cheeseburger or watching two girls making out, even if I hadn’t eaten all day, I’d pick the girls. Why? Well….shit, because a burger can wait.

Lets look at some of the well known facts. Girls are hot. Sex is fun to watch. When you put the two together minus the hairy (or waxed) twig and berries of some dude who is not you…you get a good solid free porn viewing experience.

That’s not necessarily enough to explain the massive demand for the lady finger porn going on these days though. So what the fuck?

This might shock you but…girl on girl porn is also a favorite among…girls! Even straight (but obviously not narrow) women love seeing girls play hide the hand.

Another reason lesbian porn has become so popular could be for the tutorials. I know that our blog just has a “Eat pussy like a porn star” article.

But for all the sad sacks out there who haven’t found that article yet, maybe they’re taking some cookie munching tips from the girls?

Those girls really do look like they know how to get each other off. Still…there might be something else at play here. I don’t know about you, but while I was busy hiding my boner behind my gym bag in middle school, most girls I know were having “slumber parties”.

The shit that went down at those parties was always a mystery to me, but my cock always told me that they were comparing breasts and practicing kissing.

They could have been learning taxidermy for all I’ll ever know. There is still a touch of that forbidden feeling when I get to see girls going at it though. Maybe it’s the same for you.

Just like the mystery of why women coo at puppies, the possible reason for the love of lady box lickers are endless. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. Girl on girl porn is good and isn’t going anywhere.

The fact of the matter is that many women cannot orgasm simply from fucking alone. While the man may very well want to please her, the fact is he may have to broaden his horizons beyond just thrusting his penis into her over and over again. In fact one of the best ways to make many women satisfied is by becoming an expert at the art of cunnilingus, which is performing oral sex on a woman.

Sadly many men are ignorant or even intimidated when it comes to this kind of thing. We hope that they at least have a grasp of the basic anatomy. If not a visit to wikipedia or a basic anatomy book is probably in order. Unfortunately it takes more than just knowing where a woman’s clitoris is to be a satisfying lover to one’s dating friends. The key is paying attention to the individual woman’s cues and learning how to please her best.

If one is worried about the smell one should not be. Most men find the smell of their lover quite pleasant. If one is very concerned, the first time one is planning on going down on her, wait until after she’s taken a shower or even do it on one’s knees in the bathroom itself while the water cascades over both. One should find the smell mild and pleasant and quite enticing.

Many women’s clitorises can be extremely sensitive and one should be careful not to attack it like a jackhammer unless that is what she specifically wants. The thrills of this fun and free sex come from gradually building her passion higher, feeling her hips squirm more and more and her moans grow more urgent until one sends her tipping over the edge into orgasmic bliss.

Some women may be able to have multiple orgasms by continuing to stimulate her into wave after wave of pleasure as one continues to fuck her with your mouth like in this video with Genesis Skye.

For Men seeking virgins then it was best to find himself a country farmers daughter. These Vestal Virgins were women that were taken into the priesthood and surrounded not only by a very capable guard unit but also surrounded with a mystical quality that kept them as a standard and example of the purity of the gods and their relationship with Rome. To sully this then was an affront and an insult to the gods and would surely bring down punishment from on high. For the Romans religion was not a very spiritual thing, for them it was very much a business oriented relationship. You prayed to the gods and made the appropriate sacrifices and in turn the gods would answer your prayer or bless you in whatever capacity was expected. If the god did not then you were perfectly within your rights to go appeal to another god and so on down the line until you got what you wanted. There were rituals to be observed and honors to be given and it was believed that to not do this was to be dishonorable in one’s bargain between Rome and her gods. For the Romans the gods were very different than the Greeks.

In Roman belief systems the gods were very busy doing other things and had little time to come down and physically speak with them, much less interact in any way. The gods did, like the Greeks, occasionally come down but this was a very rare occurrence and much at odds with their Greek counterparts who seemed to be popping down to the mortal world on just about every other weekend.