Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

The Best Legal Brothels In The World

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

As a self-professed free porn enthusiast, my love for everything and anything that has to do with sex is to be expected. One of my “hobbies” – if I can call it that – is to read up on brothels. And no, I’m not talking about seedy, filthy, hole-in-the-wall type brothels that treat their women like scum. I’m talking about the truly VIP spots that manage to celebrate sex while being the closest to heaven on earth most men will ever get. Read on for a list of my personal favorite spots all across the globe.

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1. Tiffany’s (Sydney, Australia) – I’ll start off by saying that every inch of this locale is painted red, making you feel like you’re in some sort of explicit dream. Catering to the rich and famous, this brothel features plenty of themed rooms and model-like ladies that know exactly what they’re doing.

2. The Bunny Ranch (Carson City, Nevada) – When on the subject of brothels, what better place than Sin City itself? Perhaps one of the only legal brothels in America, this spot is owned and operated by the self-labeled “Pimpmaster General”, Dennis Hof. With customers like Hugh Hefner and Howard Stern, you know that they must be doing something right.

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3. FKK Oase (Frankfurt, Germany) – We all know that German babes are some of the hottest in the world, and nobody showcases it better than FKK Oase. Located in the middle of the woods, this Greek inspired brothel prides itself in ladies that would put Aphrodite to shame. With plenty of cabanas spread throughout its property, you’ll be sure to have enough privacy while enjoying the great outdoors.

4. Nana (Bangkok, Thailand) – Resembling some sort of brothel-esque mall, this four story building features over 40 bars, all packed full of sexy exotic women. Unlike the previous high-end varieties however, you must learn how to negotiate in order to get what you want. On the bright side, there are enough options to satisfy every taste.

5. Big Sister (Prague, Czech Republic) – Possibly my favorite of all brothels, Big Sister follows in the suit of free porn by offering their services free of charge. You heard me. The catch however, is that after all is said and done, they get to showcase your romping session on their very own cable TV channel and website. If privacy is not an issue, this one is by far the best deal out there.

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Strip Club Etiquette

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

For those of you who have actually been to a strip club (free porn sites don’t count), you’ll know that it’s not exactly a ‘free for all’ party. In fact, most have a set list of rules that should never, ever be broken – and it’s not just about “no sex in the champagne room”. Below, we highlight a few of the rules in strip club etiquette. Provided by a real life stripper – for maximum authenticity.

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1. Watch Your Mouth – Like your mother probably told you, unless you have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Remember that strippers are only doing their job, so screaming out degrading words is not exactly courteous. If a less-than-appealing dancer approaches you, a simple “no thanks” will suffice. No need to get rude.

2. Follow The Rules – While every club goes by a different set of rules, it’s important to pay attention and follow them accordingly. One of the most common ones is the “touch and go” policy, which forbids men from touching the strippers. Failure to do will result in a black eye and getting kicked to the curb. Now there’s something you don’t want to explain to your wife.

3. Don’t Assume That Strippers Are Dumb – Just because strippers flash their private bits, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are brainless. Ask any dancer and they’ll tell you all about the men who insist on treating them as special ed children. In reality, many strippers are educated and well-aware of their present situation. Dancing is merely a way of getting by.

4. Don’t Try To Score A Date – If you think that a strip club is a good place to meet single women, think again. Not only do many strippers have boyfriends, but it is against the rules to accept dates from fellow patrons. Asking a stripper out to dinner will be falling close to the “touch and go” policy.

5. Don’t Drink Too Much – One of the biggest reasons for patrons getting kicked out of strip clubs is due to excessive drinking. After one too many beers, you could be tempted to touch a strippers ass or wind up getting a little too rowdy for comfort. Don’t allow yourself to get out of control.

Dangerous Sex: The Riskiest Places To Do The Dirty Deed

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

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They say to never get caught with your pants down, but to be honest, there’s no greater rush than having the feeling of possibly getting caught by someone when you’re doing the dirty deed.

Sometimes it just happens and the feeling of spontaneity can make the sex that much hotter. Sometimes we plan to have sex in a risky location. Either or, make sure you wear zippered pants or shorts, and try and go commando. It would be good if she was wearing a skirt and the shorter the better, but we can’t always have control of the situation.

Having sex at either of your parents’ places is going to be completely fun and dangerous. Especially if your relatives are on the conservative side, it is both rebellious and hilarious, in a very satisfying way. Do it during the day; in the bathroom, laundry room or garage, while they are pre-occupied with the garden or tea time. Remember to clean up after yourself, because they aren’t stupid and they know what sex smells like.

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Having sex in between the book stacks in the library is very risky because libraries can even be as sacred as a church with all the acquisition and deep thinking going on. You’re going to have to be as quiet as you can be. It’s not going to be as easy as it seems and totally different from the library sex scenes in porn. You’re going to have be a little more strategic. Libraries tend to be fairly big and have a lot of strange little corners. Standing is the safest way to attempt sex in a library, so if you need to escape, it can be easily done. Try and keep the volume down because you don’t want to be caught by one of those old, cranky librarians. They will have no remorse for you!

Depending on the alley, having sex in one can be bad for your health. Make sure you choose one that is fairly clean and bum free. You don’t want to give those bums a free show. You can do this easily by hiding behind a large object in the alley like a parked car or a bin. Standing up sex is your best bet because you’re not going to want to lie down on this ground.

Having sex at work is probably looked at as being very unprofessional, but hey, sometimes we just can’t help ourselves! Mostly all offices have storage rooms that are usually lockable. You don’t want to get caught here because your job could be on the line, so keep it down and play safe!

Try to be a little more daring and add some sense of adventure into your sex life and you will not be disappointed.

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Mama Knows Best

Tuesday, November 16th, 2010

“Take it easy,” Hillary said punching the boy under her lightly in the arm, “they aren’t beach balls, ya know?”

Tommy looked up from her massive chest and cooed: “Please may I suck on them, please?”

Hillary laughed and pushed her boyfriend’s head back into her warm cleavage.

Tommy was back to pulling lightly on her nipples with his teeth, it almost hurt her the way he was kinda rough, but it was also making Hillary very wet.

“You’re gonna have to…” she cooed opening her legs, trying to angle so she could rub the front of her jeans against Tommy’s big bugle. “You’re gonna have to.”

The boy came up off her chest, remembering both his conversation with Hillary’s mom and the lumbering need to get his cock out. He reached down, unbuckled his pants, unzipped his fly and took his cock out.

Hillary scooted down her shorts to reveal that she to had worn no panties in preparation for his visit.

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She was shaved warm and wet as she spread her thick legs to allow the boy between her for her first time.

Just before Tommy pushed his purple dewy head into the pretty little pussy under her he remembered: Carol Higgins, Hillary’s mom, had invited Tommy into the house only a half hour before. As usual, handsome Tommy couldn’t help but stare at the older woman’s chest but this time as Carol sat across from her daughter’s first-ever boyfriend, the older woman was determined to address the young man’s obvious obsession before Hillary came bouncing down the steps.

“Tommy, you have to be more considerate of Hillary’s feelings,” the older woman began. “She thinks that the only reason you’re dating her is to get your hands on her breasts, and I have to admit that seeing the way you look at me…”

“Oh no, Mrs. Higgins,” Tommy answered quickly, “that’s just not true, I really do like your daughter, it’s just that, well, I….”

The older woman softened her voice and replied: “I understand how you feel, Hillary does have very pretty breasts, but please try to show some interest in something other than her boobs, can you do that for me?”

“I’ll do better then that, ma’am,” Tommy had promised.

A half hour later he was pushing forth inside his girlfriend plundering her little un-traveled cunt for all he was worth.

Tommy groaned back into his girlfriends big boobs while Hillary began moving her pussy violently up and down his thick shaft. Even though he was sure he couldn’t, Tommy grew even harder as he and his girlfriend fucked for the first time, right downstairs from where Mrs. H. rumbled overhead making cookies in the family kitchen!

It was so warm and welcoming here up tight in his girlfriend’s vagina Tommy was sure he would never want to leave.

Hillary had ever felt a cock up her and Tommy’s was filling her almost to the point she felt she couldn’t take it…almost.

“Are you gonna?” Tommy asked looking down at the red-faced girl under him.

He remembered his pledge to Mrs. Higgins, wanting to make sure before he shot his load Hillary came.

“Ya…ya…” Hillary shuttered as once again they moved together and Tommy stole one last glimpse at her massive cans.

The couple clutched, growled in concert.

“I’m gonna,” Tommy said, pulling back and thrusting forward again. “I mean, I wanna but…”

“I think, I think,” Hillary declared and Tommy watched as the girl began to shutter.

Knowing Hillary was coming, knowing he had completed his promise to her mom, Tommy reached back and began to let loose a deep hot fount into the condom while Hillary bucked under him.

The two stayed locked in their embrace, even as Tommy’s cock slipped from Hillary’s puffy lips. Kissing softly, she whispered: “Mama was right, even a man who is obsessed can learn a thing or two.”

“Yes, your mother certainly knows best,” Tommy agreed.

Here’s The Situation: A Guide To Jersey Shore Lingo

Monday, November 8th, 2010

The guido’s and guidette’s of Jersey Shore just wrapped of the second season of their hit reality TV show and there is nothing but bright lights and big bills for the future of these castmates.

The Situation was a Dancing With The Stars contestant and has recently launched a new book. Snookie is being paid thousands of dollars to show up at club for about 10 minutes, all over the US, and Pauly D just bought a brand new Lamborghini.

These kids are ringing in the dough and it’s all because of their outrageous personalities and partying habits that allow them to create some of the most obnoxious, weird, and plan old fucked up lingo.

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IIIIttt’ssssss T-SHIRT TIME!!!!! Here are some infamous Jersey Shore sayings that most of you will probably need a Guido dictionary to help decipher:

GTL: A day long activity that is mostly done by MVP which includes going to the gym, tanning, and doing laundry.

MVP: The power trio created my Mike, Vinny and Pauly.

Cockblock of the century: One who is legendary for preventing his or her male roommate from succeeding in his sexual conquests.

Community smush room: A room that is used for smushing and smushing only.

Smush: When you have sex with someone.

Double Bagger: When the person you’re getting it in with is so ugly you have to put over her head and your own, just in case.

Getting it in: When you have sex with someone.

DTF: Down to fuck.

DTS: Down to snuggle.

Grenade: An unattractive fat woman.

GFF: The grenade free foundation is an organization to keep grenades at bay in order to reach a GFA.

GFA: Grenade free America.

Land-mine: A skinny ugly girl.

Chicken Cutlet: A silicone insert that is placed into a chicks bra to make her tits look bigger.

Kookah: A woman’s vagina.

These are just a few of the Jersey Shore terms to get you through a days work. If you want to completely educated on their lingo, it will require you to take the day off work, because they have come up with a lot of shit!

Pubic Hairstyles

Friday, October 29th, 2010

They say a woman’s hair is a direct indicator of who they are internally. In today’s day and age, it’s not just about the hair on their heads anymore, it’s about their pubic hair as well. An un groomed-do down below is just as bad as having a horrible hair cut or hair style on top of their heads.

Woman all over the world are jumping on the pubic hair style band wagon, and it’s not just for porn stars or Brazilians anymore.

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Before you decide you want a pubic hairstyle, you must first determine what type of style you want and when it comes to choosing the right style, you have to choose whatever will work best for you.

The Close Trim: this hairstyle will make things look a lot neater down there without the irritation of shaving. If you’re a afraid of the razor or even looking like a 10 year old girl, than this method will be the best for you.

Brazilian Style: going completely bare can be totally liberating and an exciting sensation. You can wear whatever bathing suit you want and not have to worry if your pubes are going to show. It will require some regular maintenance, however, whether it be shaving or waxing, which will leave you hair free for about 4 weeks.

Triangle, Patch, or Landing Strip: if you’re looking for a fun way to express yourself, then you might want to choose one of these options. Its probably a good idea to get it waxed at first by a professional, and then you can maintain it with a razor. You’ll just need a steady hand.

Now that you’ve decided what type of style you want, you must decide how you want to go about getting it done.

Shaving using a blade: you must first trim the hair down as short as possible. Do it when in the shower or bath and apply shaving lotion to make it easier to shave. Make sure you use a sharp razor and when your finished apply lotion to the area.

Shaving using an electric: there are actual electric razors out there that are designed to trim pubic hair. It works easily and without irritation.

Bikini Wax (at the Salon): its going to hurt, but it is the most professional route and will give you exactly what you want. Not too mention will last for about a month, rather than only a couple days.

So, the next time you ladies have some hot and wild sex and you’re all prim and proper down there, you man will be begging for round two.

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The Many Forms of Spiritual Sex

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Sex can be largely a physical activity, though women primarily tend to believe it should be a spiritual, even sacred experience. Our responses to the emotional commitment that sex brings can reveal a lot about a person and their views on sex. Some of us view our bodies and sex for that matter, as sacred beings. Some people may become aware of their own potential through the healing that this affirmation brings.

Despite the potential that spiritual sex offers, there are fundamental ideas that are relevant universally. A lot of naive porn addicts would offer us an insight to the manipulation of a person’s perception on sex. In the west, we tend to diminish sex until it’s merely an act of hot fucking and orgasms. Understanding the basics of spiritual sex will allow us to begin to see sex as sacred rather than profane relationship.

Throughout history, attitudes towards sex have changed as cultures have continued to evolve. The pornofication of society that we are currently experiencing illuminates the importance of performance, technique and instant gratification, and the potential of sex as a sacred form has been long since acknowledged.

The most famous version is tantra, which emerged from Asia around 1400 BC. Tantra is founded on the belief that we can access the divine through sexual ecstasy. Nearly all religious traditions are infused with sexual symbolism, some even embracing sex as an act of engaging god. Despite the myth that religion tells us to primarily abstain from sex, even archbishops have suggested that accessing god through the body’s grace is a significant religious experience.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams was quoted as saying, ‘To be formed in our humanity by the loving delight of another is an experience whose contours we can identify most clearly and hopefully if we have also learned or are learning about being the object of the causeless loving delight of God.”

Some of us may have already experienced divine states during incredible sex – some that surpassed the physical enjoyments we normally experience. We should all strive to find a healthy balance between watching free porn and engaging in some righteous fucking.

Racism in Porn: The Experts Debate

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

Pornland author Gail Dines is attempting to make the argument that the sexualities of millions are being forcibly hijacked by a billion dollar porn industry.

In Pornland there is a chapter titled “Racy Sex, Sexy Racism!”. Dines writes that it is commonly seen that women of color are almost always subject to a certain genre of porn named Gonzo. According to the author, porn is subject to racializing the behavior of sexual stars in their performances. Descriptions such as “Saxxx tried to clean herself up [but] she was still a low-down dirty ghetto ho! So I rammed her.” Websites and videos commonly feature race-biased titles like, “Me Fuck You Long Time,” or “Oh No! There’s a Negro in My Mom.” Racism in the porn world tends to be caused by the fact that most of the production jobs are predominantly white.

Scholar of pornography, Mireille Miller-Young of the University of California, Santa Barbara, has noticed areas of concern in the adult entertainment industry, although tends to generally disagree with Pornland’s anti-porn philosophy.

Stereotypes in porn are commonly occurring trends that manipulate fantasies, inequality, and exploitation. Women of color however are already directors and web mistresses. Vanessa Blue, Diana DeVoe and Shine Louise Houston are succesful examples of colored women who may be considered to carry themes of feminism and anti-racism. In any case, Miller-Young points out, “If you really want to understand porn from the view of women of color you need to talk to them, not just evaluate their experiences based on the titles of the movies they appear in.”

Ethnic female directors like Mika Tan have spearheaded movements to produce quality movies that showcase women of color without stereotypical roles and images. … Racism is a symptom of the bigger problem of society and porn no more contributes to that than any other form of commercial media. While there is certainly an element of racism in some adult movies, this is by no means the barometer to judge all pornography. This would be like judging all priests based on a few child molesters or all Southern white males based on a few members of the Ku Klux Klan.

Female porn directors who are addressing ethnic movements are producing quality movies that showcase porn stars without stereotypical roles and images. Racism in porn may stem from larger sociological issues, which are perpetuated as frequently in other forms of commercial media. An abundance of elements of racism can be contributed to certain adult movies, but it cannot be eluded overall that pornography is a racist medium.

So, to return to the original question: Is pornography racist? It certainly has racist elements, just like all forms of media and pop culture, but it also depends on who you ask–and we should be asking women inside the industry as well as its critics.

Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz Retract

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

NOTHING pains me more than having to retract statements. And NOTHING pains me more than sticking my neck out for somebody and having them, ahem Jenna Jameson, make me feel like an idiot for it.

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Vagazzling Comes to Porn!

Friday, April 2nd, 2010

This was only a matter of time.

The fine art of Vagazzling. We can all remember hearing about  Jennifer Love Hewitt letting the speckled goose out of her shorts, and ever since then the world has taken notice. Including, our very own porn world.

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