Church ministers are usually the last people you would expect to praise orgasms at the podium. If you have ever been to a church where the sermon started off “And God said to Abraham, thou wilt spread thy seed all over her tits”, you were likely at the peak of your acid trip, screaming at an ice cream box on the street corner outside a Target. Well if you’re ready for the greatest mind fuck of your life, be prepared for the orgasm church in Sweden, something that is being proposed by a legitimate church minister.
In southern Sweden, Lovestad, a battle has been raging to properly register a faith community. Sweden’s Supreme Administrative Court has made the church a slippery fish to handle. The spanish founder and self appointed cardinal of the church, Carlos Bebeacua, has led a campaign for what he hopes will become the first church to praise orgasms as God.
Bebeacua once told tabloid Kvällsposten: “The orgasm is the ultimate feeling of lust, it shouldn’t be limited to ejaculation. You can reach it through art or by looking at a landscape and thinking ‘Wow!’”
The Madonna of Orgasm, which the church is appropriately called, was focused around painting by Bebeacua that had sparked controversy during the 1992 World Fair in Seville, Spain. Since then, he has committed himself to founding a worship for what he believes is the true god – orgasms.
His bold beliefs have been matched with thundering dick slaps from Sweden’s Financial and Adminstrative Services Agency who refuse to register his application for the church as a religion. The agency has allegedly said that the church’s name would offend Christians, since it was to unconventional and a clear reference to the Virgin Mary.
Bebeacua has garnered support from local Christian communities, including a Church of Sweden Parish priest who welcomed the unconventional religion. Bebeacua also commented that the word Madonna, is literally translated to “my lady” and does not reference the Virgin Mary.
The success of the church is still wavering as the administrative court has ruled its name offensive to religious groups, and to the general religious proposals allegedly commenting that they “cause offense not only in the broad groups of the population that have Christian roots, but also in society as a whole.”
Those of us who know a good fuck is the closest we’ve ever been to heavenly bliss would be happy to throw this guy a bone, even if all he wants to do is get it off.