Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category

The Weirdest Things Guys Have Said To Women In Bed

Thursday, November 25th, 2010

Nov24 orgasm.com1We all know that sexy time gets personal, but sometimes, it just goes a little over board and gets a little too personal. And this time I’m not talking about the chicks. This time I’m asking the girls what some of the weirdest things guys have ever said to them in the sack.

1. “I Love You.” Mind you, it was a one night stand.

2. “I want to lick your armpit.”

3. There was this one guy would couldn’t get off without stringing together a whole bunch of foul words that made no sense as a sentence; “fuck, whore, asshole, bitch, cunt, pussy!” So odd.

4. One guy begged me to slap his erect dick.

5. “You’re the first biological woman I’ve had sex with in a long time…”

6. “My last girlfriend had a really wicked body.”

7. “Your ass tastes like caramel.”

8. “I’m sorry…I don’t always cry like this.”

9. “Can I cut you?”

10. “I just want to make you cum Jenny!” Too bad my name is Brittany.

11. “Call me daddy.”

12. “Wow, you’re just like a man in bed.”

13. “Don’t worry my mom has heard me have sex before.”

14. I met this guy on an online dating site and we had only e-mailed back and fourth a couple times before meeting up and having sex. He couldn’t stop saying, “I’m a stranger. You don’t know me, I’m a stranger, you don’t know me,” over and over again.

15. “Could you wash this?” And then handed me a used butt plug.

16. “You’re not pulling my balls hard enough.”

17. “So, have you ever seen ‘Two Girls: One Cup’?”

18. “Can I stick it in now?”

I always thought that the guys were the normal ones, but it turns out they’re not!

Swingers’ Clubs Feel The Financial Pain

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

It’s safe to say that the economy is in shambles. Unemployment is through the roof and banks have been stricter than ever when it comes to foreclosures. What you probably didn’t know however, is that even swingers‘ groups have started to feel the pain. It seems that even despite their penchant for wild group sex and disregard for money, they are still getting hit by the impact of today’s financial crisis.

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This recent discovery stems from the lackluster attendance in some of the most popular swingers clubs in the country. One of them being DDeviousDelights, who claim that attendance at their swingers’ parties have gone down between 30 to 40% in the past year. Despite the fact that most clubs are resorting to providing newcomers with a 50% discount, cover charges and strict ‘couples only’ rules still stand strong.

As an example how sex and today’s ill economy are crossing paths, take this heartwarming story: An intoxicated 56 year-old woman from Illinois decided it would be a good idea to dine and dash while at a Joe’s Crab Shack. After making a run for it, she was apprehended by authorities but promised she would pay them back once she got home. Upon arriving at her apartment, she entered her room and proceeded to come out holding a rubber dildo – which she used as a weapon while approaching the officers in a threatening manner. Once they managed to knock the ding-dong out her hand, she was apprehended and placed under arrest.

The End.

While this doesn’t necessarily apply to swingers’ clubs, it just goes to show that if you can’t use sex for a good cause, use it as a weapon. After all, not even free sex is exempt from these arduous financial times.

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The Top Reasons To Masturbate

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Woody Allen famously said, “Don’t knock masturbation; It’s sex with someone I love.” Whether it be all by your lonesome or incorporated into sex with a partner, do like Woody and love yourself! There is no greater pleasure than that.

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Do it when you’re about to fall asleep. I started choking the chicken at bed time at the young age of 14 because that’s the only time I could get some privacy. Somewhere along the way bed time became linked hand in hand with sexy time and now it’s hard for me to have a good nights rest without it! Which could be a good thing or a bad thing, I’m still trying to figure that out.

Do it when you wake up. Nothing says “Good morning world!” quite like a solo quickie first thing in the morning. It’s a proven fact that is yields the same endorphins as a morning jog would without the whole getting out of bed thing. The trick here is, however, to get out of bed as soon as your done or else you will easily fall back asleep.

There is no safer sex in the entire universe than having a night with just you and your hand. Good bye pregnancy! See ya STDS!

There are often times when intense horniness and extreme laziness strike at the exact same moment. When that situation arises it’s best to wrap some limbs around a partner and slowly diddle yourself to a dreamland, however, a lot of people are not comfortable with letting someone watch you do it. Many feel vulnerable and exposed and refrain from doing it, when it can actually be very hot and sweet.

Masturbation is a great way to bridge the gap between two lovers who are trying their shot at a long distance relationship. Whether it be phone sex or Skype sex, it can actually bring some passion into the relationship despite being 3,000 miles apart.

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It is totally impossible to get bored hanging out alone when you have the ability to beat the meat, clutch the camel, flog the log, or whatever you want to call it while watching some free porn on your laptop.

Are you a procrastinator? Then you should try your shot at procrasturbation. It’s a combination of procrastination and masturbation and it will only help in getting your history paper in on time.

Whether it be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday; they’re all great days to get a little masturbation time in.

Dangerous Sex: The Riskiest Places To Do The Dirty Deed

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

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They say to never get caught with your pants down, but to be honest, there’s no greater rush than having the feeling of possibly getting caught by someone when you’re doing the dirty deed.

Sometimes it just happens and the feeling of spontaneity can make the sex that much hotter. Sometimes we plan to have sex in a risky location. Either or, make sure you wear zippered pants or shorts, and try and go commando. It would be good if she was wearing a skirt and the shorter the better, but we can’t always have control of the situation.

Having sex at either of your parents’ places is going to be completely fun and dangerous. Especially if your relatives are on the conservative side, it is both rebellious and hilarious, in a very satisfying way. Do it during the day; in the bathroom, laundry room or garage, while they are pre-occupied with the garden or tea time. Remember to clean up after yourself, because they aren’t stupid and they know what sex smells like.

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Having sex in between the book stacks in the library is very risky because libraries can even be as sacred as a church with all the acquisition and deep thinking going on. You’re going to have to be as quiet as you can be. It’s not going to be as easy as it seems and totally different from the library sex scenes in porn. You’re going to have be a little more strategic. Libraries tend to be fairly big and have a lot of strange little corners. Standing is the safest way to attempt sex in a library, so if you need to escape, it can be easily done. Try and keep the volume down because you don’t want to be caught by one of those old, cranky librarians. They will have no remorse for you!

Depending on the alley, having sex in one can be bad for your health. Make sure you choose one that is fairly clean and bum free. You don’t want to give those bums a free show. You can do this easily by hiding behind a large object in the alley like a parked car or a bin. Standing up sex is your best bet because you’re not going to want to lie down on this ground.

Having sex at work is probably looked at as being very unprofessional, but hey, sometimes we just can’t help ourselves! Mostly all offices have storage rooms that are usually lockable. You don’t want to get caught here because your job could be on the line, so keep it down and play safe!

Try to be a little more daring and add some sense of adventure into your sex life and you will not be disappointed.

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What You Didn’t Know About Orgasms

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

In trying to keep with the subject at hand, this entry will cover the orgasm. Aside from being one of the most sought-after sensations, there is a lot more to be said about this brief moment of enlightenment. With that in mind, we present you with a list of some little-known facts surrounding the orgasm and how it can go way beyond sex.

Nov. 22 - What You Didn't Know About Orgasms

1. Orgasms Are Not Only For The Living: According to scientists, a dead person is just as capable of reaching an orgasm as their living counterparts. If certain nerves within the spinal chord receive oxygen, there is not reason as to why the dead can’t climax – though personal recollections remain to be heard.

2. Orgasms Can Make Your Breath Stink: Doctors have discovered that right after climaxing, women are left with a slight odor on their tongues. Though we have still to determine why that is, remember to pack a mint in your overnight bag. Bad breath is never attractive.

3. Even Babies Want It: Thousands of ultrasounds have shown babies – especially boys – touching their nether regions. Many claim that these motions are early forms of masturbation and that babies could be having orgasms even before leaving their mothers womb.

4. A Cure For Hiccups: After a man suffered from a case of never-ending hiccups, the only thing that could solve the problem was reaching an orgasm. So next time if you have the hiccups, forget about holding your breath and just load up on some free porn.

5. Some People Can Climax Without Sex Or Masturbation: Believe it or not, but some people have been reported to be able to make themselves orgasm through sheer mental stimulation. If you can “think yourself” into an climaxing; consider yourself lucky.

Transform Your Pad Into A Love Nest

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

If you sex life leaves much to be desired and you’re now resorting to free porn, consider your surroundings. Chances are, your apartment is about as inviting and your grandomother’s – and that’s so not sexy. A home that sets the mood for romance and intimacy can often be one of the best way to get your sex life back in working order. Below, we highlight a few tips that will get your pad from looking like a frat house, to a full-fledged love nest.

Nov. 19 - Transform Your Pad Into A Love Nest

1. Focus On The Energy – Aim towards creating a ‘love corner’ in every major room in your house. In order to create an intimate environment, avoid placing any computers, exersize equipment or books in that spot. Those tend to encourage solitary actions and won’t get you in the mood for play. Instead, place two matching objects in full display (candles or matching art pieces), which will indicate that your designated corner is a place for love.

2. Work With Your Partner - When setting up your love nest, be sure to make it a reflection of not only you, but your partner as well. Focusing too much on your likes while ignoring your significant-other’s point of view won’t make them any more inclined to getting down and dirty. And remember, a clean and tidy environment is always more welcome that a messy room. The later is nothing short of a turn off.

3. Use Sex As Your Inspiration – When decorating for love-making purposes, it’s crucial to have sex on the mind. Think sexy, lusting thoughts and consider chaise lounge chairs, luscious fabrics (silk, cashmere etc.) and of course, leather. A nice, modern shag rug is also a great option for those who are bored of the bedroom.

4. Lighting Is Everything – One of the best ways to set the mood is through appropriate lighting. Place emphasis on inviting spots such as a couch or lounge chair and be sure to keep it dim. Bright lights don’t necessarily scream “do me now”. Instead, focus on candles, lamps and wall lighting. Orgasms will be sure to follow.

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Seriously Odd Sex Stuff

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

No sex advice or porn tips here. Today, I’m going to give you a little something purely for your entertainment; a look at some seriously odd sex stuff found all around the world.

Sarah Carmen from the UK has about 200 orgasm a day from anything that vibrates. She has a rare disorder called Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, which causes a lot more blood than normal to flow to the genitals, which has resulted in spontaneous and constant arousal. She’s sitting on the bus going down a rocky road: orgasm.

A belgian optician was arrested in 1995 for making his chick patients strip down naked and dance to accordion music before he gave them their check up.

In 1993 a man names Karl Watkins from England was given 18 months in prison for having sex with the pavement. Two years later he was put on three years probation for stimulating sex in public with a bin liner.

A grenade, a teacup, a pair of glasses and a frozen pig’s tail are all objects that have been removed by doctors from different men’s asses.

In 1993 a service was started in Japan that allowed customers to buy the used panties of school girls, housewives, nurses and widows.

I bet you don’t know what an autopederast is. Let me explain; this is when a man can insert his own dick into his ass with a semi-erect penis. Of course it’s impossible for most men, but some lucky lads can perform this party trick.

In 1992 a man from the US was arrested for shooting himself with a bullet proof vest on for sexual kicks.

A man from New York injected cocaine into his penis. The result: he got gangrene. He had his legs above the knee amputated and all but one finger. His dick ended up falling off by itself while he was in the bath.

Adolf Frederick, the King of Sweden from 1751-1771 had seven mistresses: two only had one arm, two had one leg, and three only had one eye. He’s thought to have a sex fetish with amputees called acrotomophilia.

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Dating In The Workplace: Dos and Don’ts

Saturday, November 20th, 2010

While dating in the workplace is still seen as taboo in many industries, it’s the most common place for partners to meet. In fact, a new study shows that 40% of all people have dated a co-worker at some point in their lives. With office romance here to stay, there are some rules you can follow to make your corporate dating experience more rewarding. Read on for our dos and don’t to workplace hookups!

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Do: Go about work normally

The cardinal rule when dating a co-worker is to go about business as usual. Don’t let your love life affect your productivity – after all, you had your job before you met your flame, and you’ll have to have a job when you break-up.

Don’t: Bring arguments to work

Friction is negated in an effective work environment, so save the drama for your mama. Our #1 tip to making an office romance work is to leave your arguments at home. Your girlfriend fucked your brother? No one cares…

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Do: Sneak romance into the workplace

Days at work can get pretty boring, so feel free to spice up your relationship with a little discreet loving on office hours. And if you’re in the habit of working late, may we recommend sex on the photocopier?

Don’t: Harass unwitting coworkers

If you’re looking to hook up with a coworker remember that the line between friendly flirting and harassment can be thin. Don’t get carried away hitting on someone who isn’t interested – you could lose your dignity and your job.

Do: Acknowledge your status as a couple

There’s no better way to set co-workers against you than to lie about the obvious: if you’re fucking someone in the office, come clean about it. Trust is important at work, and more important than faux privacy.

Don’t: Bring work home with you

Just like leaving arguments at home, make sure you leave your work day at work. There’s no better way to suck the love out of a relationship then to make your bed into the office. If you can get this one right, you’re on the path to dating bliss!

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What Makes Women Want To Have Sex

Friday, November 19th, 2010

Back when you were an innocent child and had just come across the concept of sex, you were probably inclined to believe that your parents only bumped uglies a handful of times – to conceive you and the rest of your siblings. However, as you got older you quickly realized that reproduction was often the last thing in the minds of sexually active folk. In fact, a new study shows that procreating is only one out of 237 reasons as to why people have sex. Below, we cover some of the most common reasons as to why women chose to get psychical.

1. You Know How To Kiss Her – Even if you’re no longer in high-school, you can never be too old for a good ol’ makeout session. In fact, women are far less likely to have sex with a bad kisser. Now, before deeming yourself lucky and heading out to look for a one-night-stand, know that your definition of a good kiss may not be the same as your partners. To increase your chances, make sure you act with confidence, smell good and most importantly, brush you teeth.

2. You’re Willing To Commit – Nothing can turn a woman off more than lack of commitment. If you’ve wined her and dined her and have yet to have to get laid, she’s probably still second-guessing your ability to commit. So if you want to ‘get down tonight’, let her know just how involved you really are.

3. You Know How To Pick The Right Spot – Knowing how to use romance in the right ways can be one of the most beneficial aspects for those wanting to get lucky. Start by picking out the perfect location. Traveling to a foreign country will bring a sense of excitement that she may not have back home. By sharing a foreign experience as a couple, your sense of intimacy will be far greater, thus increasing your chances of jumping her bones.

4. You Look Good – Meatheads can work out all they want, but they’re not necessarily attracting women in the process. A recent UCLA study determined that women found lean, toned bodies a lot more desirable than their skinny or bulky counterparts. Women perceive too much muscle as being somewhat of a threat and are well aware that it comes at a price. After all, it takes plenty of time to get that big – and it’s time you could’ve been spending with her.

5. She Wants To Cater To Your Needs – For those seeking an orgasm, start with communication. Woman can often feel insecure about initiating sex due to lack of information as to your likes and dislikes in the sack. To fix this, try to have an open conversation about your sexual preferences – preferably outside the bedroom. Studies show that 79% of unpleasant sex-related chats happen right before – or after – sex. An alternative for the brave: have her watch some free porn and pay attention to her remarks. You may learn a lot more than you think.

Nov. 18 - What Makes Women Want To Have Sex

Top 5 Unexpected Sex-Related Terms

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

Imagine a world without sex. Not only would it be incredibly empty, but if for some odd reason we still managed to reproduce, we’d have to find something else to influence our day-to-day lives. For those who don’t think sex is everywhere, read on for a list of cleverly concealed sex-related names. From everyday words to music, one thing is for sure – sex is everywhere.

Nov. 17 - Top 5 Unexpected Sex-Related Terms

1. Steely Dan – For all you baby boomers out there, you’ll remember this soft rock band back in their glory days. In the 1950′s – when the band originally came together – members Walter Becker and Donald Fagen were unable to come up with an original name. Being that they were both into beat literature, they ended up taking the name of one of the characters in a book called “The Naked Lunch”. That’s right folks, Steely Dan was based off a massive strap-on dildo – and that was before free porn.

2. Vanilla – It’s no coincidence that your friends crack sex jokes everytime you lick an ice cream cone. What we presently know as “vanilla” is derived from a mix of the Spanish word “vainilla” and the Latin word “vaina” – a direct translation of “vagina” (or “pussy“, if you’d rather). By taking one close look at a vanilla pod, you’ll quickly understand why that is.

3. The Velvet Underground – One of the most revolutionary bands of the 60′s and 70′s, this band stood for anything alternative and out of the ordinary. Originating in New Jersey, the band landed it’s first gig back when they didn’t even have a name. After finding an S&M magazine with the words “Velvet Underground” plastered across it, the rest was history.

4. The Heart Shape – As romantic as it may look to us now, researchers have reasons to believe that the classic heart shape was actually inspired by a woman’s ass. The Greeks were known to have created a temple called Kallipygos, a worshipping ground that translates into “Goddess with the Beautiful Buttocks”. All hail the big booty!

5. Jazz – We all know that jazz tends to be associated to sex. It’s smooth enough to set the mood and get just about anyone in that particular state of mind. What you didn’t know is that the word “jazz” is derived off the Creole term “jass” – which stands for ‘sex’.