Part of the reason to change your perspective about what sex is and can be is because it can really open up your world, for men as well as women. A good way of looking at how sex can be unique and different is to look at where sex is suggested but not shown. Many people have a favorite book, movie, or TV show that they feel is very erotic or sexually charged but is not explicit: the favorite is sexy but there is nothing immediately seen; the sex is only in the tension between the characters or the situation. This is true in the real world as it is in movies and books and TV shows.
The same is true about simply taking the time to see the sensual and pleasurable aspects in all kinds of things. Food, for instance, can be very sensual and erotic but not immediately so: a good meal with a lover can be just as stimulating and erotically charged as it can be with clothes off. This is also a great way to become simply more sensual and appreciative of the world around you. Food is good but there are also smells and other things that, too, can be sensual and almost erotic: incense and perfumes, certain types of clothing or cloth, or fine art can also change the way you look at the world and maybe open new doors of sensuality. How we talk to one another, react to our pleasures and take pleasure in how one another reacts is sexy to.
The bottom line is that by seeing the world only as sexy when we’re naked and having intercourse limits your world down to a very narrow focus. By spending some pleasurable time exploring the rest of the erotic and pleasurable in our life, by recognizing the sexual in so much more than just the body parts of your lover, you can really expand what sex is and can be. Erotic visual images are more than just gonzo porn and tickling and teasing goes beyond foreplay. Intimacy is not just fucking for romantic couples.
Sex might be everywhere but it’s not always sexual. On-line or off, we can immerse ourselves in the desires we have and those we can cultivate.
