Archive for the ‘Sex And Society’ Category

Homemade Kitchen Sex Toys

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

Forget what your parents told you about not playing with your food. You’re not a little kid anymore, and incorporating food into your sex life can really spice things up.

Remember the saying, “if you can’t take the heat, then get out of the kitchen”? Well, the kitchen is about to be on fire, so put your game face on and play along.

You can try playing with food in wild ways that you’ve never dreamed of. Have fun with honey, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, or even marshmallow fluff. Carrots and cucumbers can make great penis substitutes. Have your girl use them on herself, or you take control. Remember, put a condom on it!

There’s also a lot of other things in the kitchen that can be used as sex toys, besides food.

Roll up a towel and place a plastic bag in the “tube” that the towel created. Fill the plastic bag with lube, then place it somewhere you can thrust away into.

Line a plastic cup with two thick kitchen sponges. Wet the sponges with warm water and then lube up the space between the sponges. Once again, place it somewhere and thrust away.

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Check out the freezer because ice can be amazing for sexual thrills and chills for the both of you. Tease your chick by rubbing a piece of ice, or maybe even some frozen peas along her nipples, face, arms, thighs, ass, and clit. If you have some popsicles in there, you can use one as a dildo. I know you’ve probably watched this on porn somewhere, but you have to remember to not leave it inside your chick for too long because she could get a bad case of freezer burn! They don’t tell you that in porn.

Saran Wrap can also be a kinky substitute. Wrap some around your girls body, and your own if you really want to be frisky. It’s a fun and easy way to create your own lingerie; it’s see through, and easy to strip off.

Instead of using the spatula to make cupcakes, bend your girl over your leg and spank her ass with it. If she’s not really into the spanking, then flip it over and use it as a homemade dildo. Make sure there are no sharp edges on the surface that could cut into skin.

Use anything that is electrical as a vibrator. Place it on your girls pussy and she will completely enjoy herself. Once again, remember to use your common sense and play safe.

After you’ve broken in your kitchen and used it as the sexual haven that it is intended for, have your girl make you dinner. Skip dessert, and move into another room in the house and use everything in it for your sexual pleasure.

Simple Sex Is One Of Life’s Greatest Pleasures

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

If there’s anything that certain about sex, it’s that it can complicate life and relationships. Sex is messy: it controls our actions and often leads to places we’d otherwise avoid. Despite this, no one goes out of their way to avoid sex – in fact nearly everyone embraces sex in their own way. So how do you choose what you’d like?

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Internet porn has made sex easy, not to mention accessible for public consumption. You don’t have to hide in a dirty bookstore to buy it anymore – and without that embarrassment people have opened up to fetishes and darker desires. Like a good meal you can have your fucking any way you like it – with whips, chains, stockings, anally, on a boat. The scenarios are endless, and often lead to an escalation in the type of behavior needed to get off.

Escalation is a key point, because although we like our ladies in thigh high stockings, and love when they suck dick in lipstick, sometimes there’s nothing better than just plain old sex. You know the kind: you strip down and bend over a big titted bitch and fuck her until she screams. Never mind acrobatics worthy of Cirque du Soleil, simple pounding is refreshing and a back to basics approach that will help you return to your roots.

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So the next time your lady comes over, smack her ass and get down to one of life’s richest pleasures: simple sex. You can thank us later.

Female Athletes: Sex-Icons In The Making?

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010

Sex sells. An old adage, yet true: sex is used to sell everything from beer to cars, and traditionally, waif-like models have been used to do it. Athletes have been increasingly sexualized however, and the 21st century has seen a rise in the number of muscled midriffs in popular culture. After all, what’s hotter than fucking a skinny model? Fucking a tight, toned and primed athlete that will rock your bed like porn star on steroids – that’s what. So let’s take a look at 4 of the hottest athletes in the world today.

Amanda Beard:

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A world class swimmer and Olympic Gold Medalist, Beard set the bar high by medalling in three consecutive Olympic Games. Moreover, she put her porn worthy body on display in Playboy, setting a precedent for other athletes trying to match her celebrity.


Lindsay Vonn
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Lindsay Vonn was lauded as America’s Winter Olympic answer to Michael Phelps in early 2010, and while she didn’t quite live up to that mantle, she did bring home a gold medal. Not only that, but she sparked jealousy in teammates and opponents alike by showing off her tight body in an alluring Sports Illustrated Swimsuit spread to coincide with the games. It’s worth finding too, especially to see her voluptuously muscled ass in action.


Alison Stokke
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While Stokke’s athletic pedigree pales in comparison on her beauty, it’s her muscular body that has everyone talking. That and the fact that she’s a pole-vaulter – prompting otherwise respectable journalists to lose their shit and crack: she could vault my pole any time. Amen!


Anna Kournikova
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These days, Kournikova is more celebrity than athlete, but she makes our list for that very reason. Anna is a modern prototype : a failed athlete who has exploited her sex appeal in Hollywood. While she’s been in a relationship with Enrique Iglesias for nearly a decade, he’s bound to come out of the closet at some point. Until then, we’ll be waiting for Anna with baited breath.

Breast Implants: Why Size Matters And When Big Is Too Big

Saturday, October 23rd, 2010

Picture yourself at a fundraising carwash, the kind where you pay ten bucks for two porn stars with big tits to come and clean your windshield with their mammoth mammaries. Now imagine those same sluts throwing their slabs on your Escalade’s windshield and your world going dark. The thought is scary – while we all love breast implants there’s a point at which big is just too big.

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Take Heidi Montag as a prime example. When Heidi first appeared on The Hills she was a skinny flat chested blonde with a big nose. Sure, we would have fucked her (perhaps even multiple times), but without much to talk to we would have moved on to bigger and better things. Heidi may be dumb, but she was smart enough to realize that her value wasn’t nearly as high as it could have been so she went under the knife to have her face fixed and her tits done. The end result was a minor miracle as Heidi was transformed from an average beach slut to a superstar – the kind of big breasted blonde that embodies the American dream.

With that said, when Heidi went under the knife again for an extreme makeover this spring, she pushed her look too far. There’s a fine line between bombshell and alien, and Heidi passed it by having her face pulled tighter than Joan Rivers and supersizing her breasts so that they resembled flesh colored bowling balls. Yes, we’d still fuck her, but much like the original version of Heidi, her stock was greatly reduced.

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So when it comes to tits, there’s such a thing as too big. As a rule, tits shouldn’t block the sun, they should simply allow the sun to highlight their bulging contours. Looking natural isn’t necessarily the prototype that should be aspired to – after all, men love fake breasts – but women who look deformed are quite simply unattractive. Hollywood – take note!

A Newbie Guide To Swinging

Friday, October 22nd, 2010

Being a swinger is a lot more than just having sex with multiple partners. It’s a lifestyle. For those curious to try it, know that it involves a lot more than just heading over to your local swingers club, condoms in hand.

For starters, know that you can’t just simply stroll into a swinger’s club without a partner. However, that only applies if you are of the male variety. Single females are more than welcome to stroll in at any given time. If you don’t have a partner, your best best is to go on “single men” nights. However, expect a sausage fest. The best way to go about swinging still lies in finding a partner who is willing and able.

Oct. 21- A Newbie Guide To Swinging

Despite the vast amount of swinger’s clubs, sex mostly happens in people’s houses and occasionally in the great outdoors (eg. camping grounds). Also keep in mind that many ‘high class’ clubs are “invitation only”, though many still welcome periodic walk-ins.

Before getting down and dirty, keep in mind that swingers are not just a bunch of horny animals that will hump anything with a pulse. Men will often find a hooker or crackhead to use as a “ticket” in order to get through the door, and that is the ultimate swinger faux pas. Most swingers have a zero-tolerance policy on dubious partners. So stick to a female companion that you know and trust.

Perhaps the hardest aspect of swinging is getting your partner to agree to it in the first place. When faced with a hesitant girlfriend, here a few convincing points:

- You don’t necessarily need to have sex with anybody else (but you will be watched, it’s a bit like free porn)

- You will have a newfound appreciation towards each other once you realize how desirable you are to others

- If she is concerned about showcasing her body, assure her that swingers come in all shapes and sizes and that they most definitely don’t discriminate

- It will provide you with a good opportunity to socialize and learn more about sex

Once you’ve gotten your partner willing and ready to go, make sure that you are both in agreement over how it will go down. While some partners are ok with ‘sharing’, others just like to observe. Alternately, some like to ‘play around’ with other couples but not have sex. Whatever your swinging style, know what you are in for before walking through those doors. You don’t want to end up causing a scene when you touch another woman’s tits and your girlfriend throws a fit.

Now that you know what to expect, and what you are willing to do, it’s time to do some prep work. Start off by ensuring that you have reservations (most parties have a guest list) and that you are given guidelines into the do’s and dont’s of your club of choice. Once that’s settled, make sure to arrive with your date in hand. Having her meet you inside might not be the best idea (or they could just simply not let you in). As for the dress code, dressing sexy is appropriate, being mistaken for a prostitute is not. Some swingers also chose to bring a robe for added convenience. Whatever your choice of attire, the most important thing to remember is to clean yourself up. Brush your teeth, take care of any grooming needs and ensure that your nails are clean. If only out of respect for others.

If you’ve finally managed to get inside and you and your partner are ready to go, know that there are additional factors to keep in mind. For starters, try not to offend anybody. If approached by an overweight man you would rather die than touch, a simple “no thank you” will suffice. Staring is also not exactly a good idea. If you come across a closed bedroom, leave it that way. The best approach for newbie swingers is to make friends with an experienced couple and have them show you around. Use protection, wash your hands in between sessions and you’ll have a jolly good time.

Girls-On-Girls To Impress The Gentlemen

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

After discussing porn sites with my roommate, I laughed when he told me his subject of interest revolved around lesbians. “Lesbians eating each other out; now that’s the stuff”, he said with a sparkle in his eyes. Now, I know that it’s not exactly big news that men love lesbians. Even Britney and Madonna’s infamous kiss was enough to get everyones panties in a bunch. But what is it about women making out that turns men on so much? Is it the aspect of having double the fun? You know, two being better than one? Here’s the thing though, if these lesbians are in fact lesbians, then clearly they wouldn’t want to go anywhere near a penis. Right?

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Two professors from the University of California decided to analyze this girl-on-girl business a little further. After conducting a national survey, they determined that out of all the women polled, only 2% considered themselves lesbians or bisexuals. On the other hand, 8% reported having same sex desires or engaging in same-sex frolicking. While the number certainly seems low, what’s interesting to observe is the relation between sexual preference and actual behaviors.

Another important find – that is also not exactly groundbreaking – is that the reason behind girls making out with girls lies in one thing and one thing only – impressing the boys. Add a little bit of alcohol into the mix and suddenly a girl will do just about anything to show a man just how “wild” she is. Perhaps it all boils down to the fact that a man’s role is to observe while women are to be observed.

I never said I was a feminist (after all I enjoy free porn).

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Even though men like to believe that a lesbian couple would be more than eager to jump into bed with them, chances are they wouldn’t. A pair of fake lesbians however, would love nothing more. That’s why they’re making out in the first place. So for the lez-enthusiasts out there, consider your setting before attempting to make a pass on a same-sex couple. If they’re just strolling around hand in hand not really paying you any mind, let them be. Alternately, if two girls start to make-out right in front of you, chances are it’s just a little desperate act to get your attention. And boy does it work!

The Evolution of the Vibrator

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

As long as humans have had dicks and vaginas, we’ve found outside ways to stimulate them. Dating back to the Victorian era, the first vibrator ever was created, however it was aimed at curing a disease that didn’t even exist.

Since masturbation in the 19th century was considered very taboo, the very first vibrators weren’t marketed as such. Instead, they were sold as medical devices used to treat “hysteria”. And hysteria being something that chicks came down with if they hadn’t gotten their rocks off in a while.

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Apparently, hysteria was caused by the retention of “female semen”, which could get into the blood stream and corrupt it, so it had to be let loose of course.

Doctors would stimulate the vag until the chick would orgasm. But, their hands would often get tired quickly, so this is how the vibrator came into existence!

Ultimately, vibrators have been around longer than electricity has. The first model came out in 1734 and was operated by a crank. Electricity is what really brought them to the mainstream.

One of the first mechanical vibrators was the steam powered Manipulator. This monstrous machine hid its engine in another room with the apparatus sticking through the wall. Fucking scary.

The modern day vibrator has come along way from the big, bulky, scary looking ones. They don’t require a whole fricken room to run properly. Secondly, they can be bought for their intended use of pleasure and orgasms, instead of pretending like they’re curing a disease that isn’t even real. Also, they are made for comfort and the plastic and moulding makes them feel a lot less like a cold machine that should be found outside in the shed.

We are lucky that we live in a time where watching porn and playing with yourself is becoming more and more acceptable. Before we know it, the future of the vibrator will be a chip implanted into our genital areas that will stimulate them whenever we press a button. Sounds pretty good to me.

Quickie Time

Friday, October 15th, 2010

Sometimes a guy just has to get some pussy, no matter what the circumstances. More times than not, a quickie will satisfy all sexual desires, and can be fun and exciting.

Here are 8 awesome locations for a quickie when the blood is running heavy below the waste and you just need to satisfy your urge.

1. Elevator: if going from the 15th floor to the ground level isn’t enough time to get your quickie in, then I suggest stalling the elevator for a few minutes to give you some extra time.

2. Movie theatre: as cliche as it sounds, getting busy in a movie theatre is always fun. They’re the best place to get blow jobs or hand jobs.

3. Back of the club/restaurant: if your girl or some drunk chick for that matter, are feeling horny, go to the darkest part of the room, or even the bathroom, and get it on. Chances are no one will even see or hear you.

4. Stairwell: if your roommates home or you’re at work and you only have 10 minutes to spare, head to the stairwell of the building and go crazy for a few minutes.

5. Car: yes I know it’s not very original, but it is always a great experience. Pull over and pound away in the back seat, or have your girl give you some road head.

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6. Alley: before envisioning a dirty alley with rats and homeless people, picture you thrusting away a girl with a skirt on. Now i bet I have your attention.

7. Office: whether its the babe you’ve been eyeing at work, or your girl shows up in nothing but a trench coat, sex on the office desk makes life that much better.

8. Dressing room: barge into the Gap dressing room with the sexy sales clerk and fuck the shit out of her.

Tips On How To Become A Porn Star

Friday, October 15th, 2010

Ever dreamed of becoming a porn star? Before you get too excited, don’t think that it’s all about taking off your clothes and doing it doggy-style (and anal, and oral, and cowgirl etc.) for ten hours. Here required traits for those interested in getting into the adult industry. Warning: it’s not for the faint of heart.

1. Look Realistic – Gone are the days when porn stars resembled second-class drag queens. What porn-aficionados want, are girls that look real. Like the girl-next-door they dream of fucking. While implants are certainly acceptable – after all, this is still porn we’re talking about – anything over a D cup can start to look scary.

2. Adequate Tits – While on the subjects of racks, a good pairs of tits is absolutely mandatory. While size doesn’t matter too much, appropriate nipples are a must. Pancake nipps on an A cup? No thanks.

3. No Fear – The bottom line is this: if anal is a no-no in your book, forget about porn. In the adult entertainment industry, experimentation is everything. Start to draw lines over what you can and cannot do and you’ll soon be out of a job. The more you do, the more money you make.

4. Must Enjoy Sex – What good is a job in porn if you don’t like sex? If the idea of multiple orgasms makes your cringe, then perhaps you’d be better suited as a librarian. Just a thought.

5. Be Street Smart - Having a career in porn comes with a hefty does of side-effects. One of them being the constant harassment by “fans” and having to deal with shady producers that may not have your best-interests at heart. Knowing how to pick these people apart and watch your own back is probably one of your best tools towards succeeding in the industry.

6. Keep Yourself Sane – Walking down the wrong path can be quite easy in the world of porn. Between the drugs and wild sex, you run the risk of being a hop and a skip away from ending up in rehab. Or like a total hot mess.

Oct. 14 - Tips On How To Become A Porn Star

Halloween Sex Positions

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

They say Christmas is the most wonderful time of they year. I completely disagree. Halloween is by far the best time of year because chicks have an excuse to dress up completely slutty and and they throw all their inhibitions out the window.

Halloween’s original purpose has totally transformed in the past couple of decades and amen for that! The idea of scary has turned into sexy and the only thing scary about Halloween should be the inner demons you release in the bedroom.

The devil inside of you and your partner will be shrieking and moaning all night long, and it won’t be because of a full moon. Try out these Halloween sex positions and you wont be disappointed:

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Tail in the Crypt: You and your partner make your way under your bed, aka the crypt, and start doing some anal play, aka the tail. I’ll leave it up for you to decade whether or not you’d like to annoyingly stimulate your partner with scratches on the back.

The Scarecrow: One partner is strapped to a cross brace and must act as if they have to skeletal system. The other partner gets to do whatever they want to the person tied up. Groping, teasing, prodding, and just about anything else you want.

Night of the Fucking Dead: Both partners start off in a standard missionary position, but once the dick is inside, that’s when things get interesting. Neither partner is allowed to use their arms or legs when fucking eachother. Just like the grunting and struggling zombies in the movie.

Pumpkin Head: Have your partner paint their face with orange and black makeup while you cut a hole in a box to act as the table. Your partner will kneel down with the pumpkin head poking out of the hole. You’ll stand in front , and put a candle, aka your dick, into the mouth of this jack-o-lantern.

Witches’ Brew: Fill a hot tub with brown food coloring, novelty eyeballs, gothic candles, and two slutty drunk chicks you found at the bar. A post witches brew shower is also in the cards.

Now you’re really ready to celebrate Halloween this year. Before you’re ready to get down and dirty, try watching some Halloween porn to get you in the mood.