Archive for the ‘Masturbation’ Category

Top 5 Tips for Releasing the Death Grip

Friday, October 1st, 2010

Firm grip masturbation can often lead to a lack of enjoyment with sex and blow jobs. Many men have misguidedly grown accustomed to a firm grip when jerking off, leaving a high bar for any partner to reach with her mouth, hand and pussy. You may feel like you just don’t enjoy oral sex or hand jobs; after all, no one’s ever done it as well as you. If you are willing to put effort into easing up on the squeeze, this should be manageable for you. If you’ve got a willing partner you can communicate well with, you’re laughing.

What may be required going forward is to take a hands-free approach until you are able to resolve this. You need to work on retraining this poor, battered cock of yours. Here are a few tips:

1) No more hard firm grip, go cold turkey. This is going to take some discipline, but with help from your partner it should be manageable.

2) Use a gentle grip for the same amount of time it would normally take to come, and even if you don’t come, stop.

3) If you have a partner, show and tell her what you like. You can ask her to use more pressure as you wean yourself off of your grip and onto hers. Use this sparingly if you can, as you still want to be able to take care of yourself without resorting to old bad habits.

4) Use clear direction and regular progress reports. This allows you to make sure you keep her in the loop, as well as learning verbalize what you want.

5) Don’t feel badly. Understand this is reciprocal as well. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation and only 25% of us can climax with vaginal intercourse alone. Take your time and be patient.

Think of how good you feel when you get someone else off, and how much better she will feel when she, too, has that power; especially where so many women before her have failed. Then you’ll be busting a nut like a porn star!

Porn & Politics

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

The media would like us to believe that the better portion of Americans are hitting the streets to cause a ruckus in the name of politics. In fact, voter turnout in America is at an all time low, and many are having trouble choosing which candidate should lead the free world.

Perhaps it is comforting to know that men are a little more prone to get political if they know that means a possible “win” for their own member. Two psychologists have recently claimed to have found a pattern between the American states which backed a winning candidate and the number of search requests for porn on the internet in that state.

In 2004, upon George Bush’s alleged “win”, rates of internet porn usage in the states that backed him surged. In comparison, states that supported John Kerry saw decreases. Remarkably, the same results were found in the 2008 election that featured Barack Obama and John McCain, as well as in the 2006 congressional election.

The study was conducted by Patrick Markey and his wife (who remains anonymous) – both psychologists interested in political phenomena. In an online interview Markley was quoted as saying, “If we saw this just for one election, you might chalk it up to chance, but we saw a pattern with it happening three times. It’s also cool that we saw these results with both Republicans and Democrats — that these were general results not just driven by one political party.”

The results may be indicative of more than just one political party being sexually active then another. Men aren’t usually prone to sudden masturbation sessions upon a successful victory are they?

Apparently, the husband and wife super team stumbled on their findings after working on studies involving testosterone levels. Related studies have shown extreme levels in testosterone, high or low, result in differences in sexual behavior.

American states which voted strongly for McCain in the 2008 elections had significantly lower levels of free porn consumption. Obama voters fared a lot better when he successfully won the election, causing a massive spike in online porn usage among the strongest states.

“We don’t know for sure if testosterone is the reason why we are seeing these changes in porn-seeking behavior, but it seems like the best explanation at the moment,” said Markey.
The only thing left to wonder is which party watched teen cheerleader sluts, or anal avengers.

Bad in Bed: Damage Control

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

So you’ve met someone you’re into and you can’t wait to fuck the living daylights out of them. That is – until you get into their pants and they start doing some kind of silly buggers game that does not do anything for you. What gives?

There’s no nice way to tell someone they’re bad at kissing or suck at blow jobs, but the most effective approach is to make it about you. Start by telling them they are a wonderful kisser, blower, fucker, fister, or whatever is most applicable to your situation.

The most important thing to remember is to make” I” statements. This will allow you to help your partner get involved with raising up his or her skill level without saying that’s what you’re doing. Tell them you want to teach them how to blow or fuck or kiss you the way you want to be blown, fucked or kissed. Just tell them; give them the option of doing it right.

We all generally have fragile egos. Sometimes, though, we believe that they’re even more fragile than they really are. In all likeliness, your partner wants to make whatever it is they are doing work for you, and doesn’t think they’re the reincarnation of the world’s greatest porn star. Most people have learned ways that work for them and if your partner is tuned and you use the right kind of language about your own experience, they should be able to recognize that what you’re doing is best for both of them.

Talk in specifics and walk them through what you want. Break it down and show them step by step what works. Once they understand that they can pick it up more naturally and move from there. Whatever chemistry got you to where you are should work in tandem with these tips you provide. There was something that drew you together, and if you can get your physical needs to line up with them, you should be bouncing off the walls, or pussies and cocks, in no time.

Is Your Girlfriend In-Orgasmic?

Saturday, September 25th, 2010

Could she be in-orgasmic? Or is it possible she’s having orgasms without your knowing it?

If a guy says he doesn’t masturbate, you can check his palms to see Robin Williams’ chest chair growing from them. On the other hand, many women don’t masturbate, and often if they do they start much later in life.

It’s also a well-documented point that women don’t reach their sexual peak until they reach their mid-thirties. She may have a hard time getting aroused by herself. Some women will play around and it’ll feel really good to a certain point, then it won’t feel very good, so she’ll stop. There’s no big crescendo, so she is not perceiving that she’s having an orgasm, if in fact she is.

If she gets horny, gets wet, has a vibrator, enjoys masturbating even if she’s not having orgasms, she might want to have her testosterone levels checked. The so-called male hormone is responsible for great deal of female sexual response cycle. A lot of women who are not horny at all or not orgasmic may have really low levels of testosterone.

A lot of women don’t really get there until they hit their sexual peak.She’ll need to learn how to breathe and engage her diaphragm. If she holds her breath, she can actually short circuit all the responses going up and down from head to pussy.

Most importantly, try and help her relax, as getting upset makes the struggle even more challenging. If she feels like an orgasm is something she owes you, rather than something she experiences or possesses, it will compound the problem. If she didn’t start masturbating until she was 20 and now she’s 25, she may just be a late bloomer. And if not, maybe it’s time to get her to watch some free porn.

The Kama Sutra Abridged: A Lazy Man’s Bible To Sex

Monday, September 20th, 2010

With all the performance pressure placed on men in North America it’s easy to get carried away during sex. The Reverse Spoon, The Lap-Dancing Cowgirl, The Butterfly Effect – after a while it feels like like you’re dodging bullets in The Matrix. Let’s face it, the average man is no Keanu Reeves – hell most of you reading this aren’t even a poor-man’s Mickey Rourke. So listen up: here are a few of the lazy man’s essential sexual positions (ie. positions you don’t have to be a porn star to pull off).

The Nocturnal Emission: Also known as a wet dream, The Nocturnal Emission is the sexual scenario of choice for obese cowboys and rodeo clowns. Of course, it’s not limited to those demographics, however a quick cross section will reveal that most obese cowboys do in fact prefer The Nocturnal Emission over say, The Splitter.

The Failed Push-Up: This position is similar to the missionary position, only it involves less thrusting. After all, once you’ve failed at an initial push-up, why attempt another? Just let your penis rest in your lady’s bucket of luke warm juice and wiggle a little. It counts as fucking and helps preserve calories.

The Lazy Dog: Similar to doggy style, this position is also known as Hide the Bone. If you’re feeling like a dingo, but not quite as rabid, you might want to try this out by sitting on top of your sexy skank and sticking your cock in just for a howl. Woof!

Jarred from Subway’s Special Sauce Surprise: Naturally, we saved the best for last. The beauty of The JFSSSS is that it doesn’t require much participation – just beat off until you’re ready and deposit a load of salty semen on your consenting lady’s lips. Hell, if you’re lucky, she may not even wake up!

The 15 Minute Orgasm

Thursday, September 16th, 2010

Becoming the modern day superhero known to sexy ladies everywhere as Orgasmo doesn’t involve a life study in tantric sex. Young grasshopper, the Yoda of orgasms is here to teach you the art of the 15 minute orgasm. You can turn that quickie into a orgasm that will leave her twitching for two hours if you follow my advice.

Sexologists at the Kinsey Institute in the US found that average women can orgasm after 10-20 minutes of sex. Learning how to prep your sexy lady with some pre-gasm exercises will stimulate her vaginal nerves and have her pussy warmed up for performance.

After you take her to a comedy show, or wait till she’s done her yoga class, have a few drinks of wine at your flat. Researchers at the University of Florence found that women who drink a glass or two of red wine are more aroused. Don’t worry if you cant warm her up with wine, as you can always try some free porn instead.

Now that she’s in the mood, it’s your turn to provide everything she needs.

15 Minute Mark

In the beginning of your 15 minute orgasm teachings, you will need to utilize the simplest of moves. Invest at least 3 minutes to kissing – it has been found to reduce levels of stress and turns a women on faster then a Brad Pitt autograph. German scientists found that kissing develops a connection chemical between the two of you called oxytocin. It will build trust and encourage lady to cum quickly, and often! Be sure you kiss more than her mouth. Pay attention to her neck and ears, while undressing her slowly.

12 Minute Mark

Your girl is nearly naked now, but keep her underwear on for another minute or so. “Stroke and caress her through the fabric rather than going for gold,” says sex therapist Paula Hall. “Focus on building anticipation rather than going straight for direct stimulation. If you make it seem like you’re in for a quickie she is less likely to orgasm as quickly. Women love a man who is good with his hands.

10 Minute Mark

Orgasms aren’t always about foreplay, however if you’re going to skip the foreplay, be prepared for a fickle fuck. Providing some warm up till this point is important in setting the stage for her explosive orgasm. Clocking in at around 7 minutes of solid penetration is the ideal time to push things to the next level.

7 Minute Mark

Inexperience men at this point will probably be asking themselves “next level?! isn’t is this where I unload on her stomach and say good night?” Any wise lover would know that this is where you bust out the power positions. Try bracing your feet at the foot of the bed, and rocking back and forward rather then thrusting. Stimulating her clit with your shaft while penetrating her g-spot is a move that will require some practice young padowan.

! Minute Mark

At this point, your lady should be clawing at the sheets and clinching for the final orgasm. Don’t try anything new at this point, since changing your rhythm will likely bring her down a few steps. Keep your pace and penetration the same until she is left convulsing in orgasmic splendor. If you are a real Jedi, you will be able to pull out and bust load all over those big beautiful tits of hers.

It’s Not Easy Being A Porn Star

Sunday, September 5th, 2010

The last time you watched your favorite porn star get filled with cock on tape, you probably never stopped to think how the whole production comes together. There are many people behind the scenes, working hard to make sure that perfectly bleached asshole is prim and proper for the last anal scene of the day. It is not an easy job to be a porn star, especially if you happen to be a man.

The idea of fucking someone for hours on end would take a toll on any hopeful swinging dick. Imagine having to achieve an erection on command, through camera and light changes. Not only do you have to have a dick the size of a baby’s arm, you got to keep that blood pumping to your cock. You’ll likely pass out if you keep an erection for more than a few hours, so you better start training if you hope to have a chance in hell of becoming a porn star.

Next time you are busy masturbating to some free porn online, and your dog walks in, notice how (hopefully) you find it hard to keep an erection when your being watched? Now imagine 20 people standing around, waiting on you to provide a cum shot of mammoth proportions. You have to be able to paint that bitch white with your magic wand, so you cant afford to be shy. I don’t imagine training in front of a pack of dogs will help you overcome this fear, however maybe some impromptu public masturbation will help you be more comfortable whipping your dick out in front of strangers. That, or it will be an easy way to earn a couple merit points on your criminal record.

Lastly, likely one of the hardest feats for any future professional fucker is to enjoy sex enough to be able to do it everyday. Doing anything day in and day out can be a mother fucking nightmare. After the first couple fucks on film, your mojo will likely be diminishing as quick as your boner. You got to have a serious ability to fuck all day, or else your going to be doing the walk of shame to your trailer.

So there you have it, some of the reasons it can be damn hard to be a porn star. You have to have the complete package or you will never make it in this sex fueled era we live in. Try making some amateur porn with a small cast and crew, see how you do and then decide if you think should move up the major leagues.

How To Achieve The Ultimate Orgasm

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

Perhaps you’ve never had an orgasm, or perhaps you cum several times a day. Either way, there’s always room for improvement, and this is true of sex as much as it is of Wii bowling or ping pong (and trust us, North Americans suck at ping pong). We’re not talking quantity here, we’re talking quality – which can be hard to come by with orgasms (and require a lot of work). Some folks go years before discovering that they’ve been missing earth shattering pleasure, so read on so you don’t miss out!

Let’s start with the ladies. There’s a lot of misinformation out there about women reaching climax, so our first piece of advice is to take control. Men don’t just lie down and hope to achieve orgasm, and women shouldn’t either. Just as men generally find a thrusting rhythm that suits them during sex, most women need to put pressure on their clitoris by rotating their pelvis against their partner and finding a rhythm that suits their needs.

To do this, it’s helpful to start with pelvic exercises to strengthen your core. It’s key to note that pelvic rotation, with the woman on top while fucking, stimulates the G-Spot – which is very close to the urethra. So relax, forget about climaxing simultaneously, and even let yourself squirt if you feel it coming.

As for the boys, it’s pretty easy to tell if you’ve achieved climax. But what about a better climax? For most men, prostate stimulation is the key to reaching your orgasm potential. Start with a finger in your ass and move on to a butt plug while you’re fucking – it may be uncomfortable at first, however once you feel your orgasm spread through your entire body instead of being localized to your cock you’ll want to thank us.

So there you have it, a couple of tips to start you on the road towards mind blowing orgasms. If these tips work for you, let us hear about it in the comments section below!

Hottest Porn Stars According to RealTouch!

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

Hot on the heels of this mind-blowing story, and I mean that…I’m totally not over it, comes a quick addendum that involves the very same company responsible for the RealTouch.

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Sex Toys for Boys

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Everybody knows that girls have all the good sex / masturbation toys. It’s just a fact. They have shit that’s either compact enough to use while in the middle of a meeting or big enough to think that it’s a Rube Goldberg contraption. And really, it’s not about who’s being unfair to who or wanting to spark a revolutionary competition, we’re just wired differently, men and women. It just so happens that girls tend to be able to utilize robotics a bit more conveniently than boys. Well, gentlemen, welcome to 2010.

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