Archive for the ‘Hand Job’ Category

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Dating a Masturbator

Friday, December 10th, 2010

Whenever a new couple begins dating, there are all kinds of things yet to be discovered. What kind of sex you each like will sooner or later be on the agenda. A lot of people are just into garden variety fucking, but some have a specialty.

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What is it like to date a masturbator? Just about all men masturbate. For some it is a primary mode of sexual gratification. This is not to judge that orientation in any way. However, it may take some understanding and adjustment to make sure everyone is satisfied.

It may take a while for the real story to come out if a man is seriously into wanking. He may be performing great sex acts with the new girlfriend, saving his jacking off over pictures or his arsenal of sex toys for boys hidden, thinking his girlfriend wouldn’t understand. He may have trouble ejaculating inside of her, and she may wonder if she is lacking something. Hopefully, they will each share their real sexual interests with one another – before she finds the stacks of splooge-covered magazines in his closet.

Once the secret is out, there are lots of fun things the couple can do to incorporate his penchant for stroking into their sex life. Both of them may really get off on fucking her, then pulling out at the last moment to spray cum all over her tits. He may like the feeling of a hand on his cock in general, so a hand job from her might be what he craves. The couple may enjoy sweet foreplay and licking before lying back and watching each other get themselves off. The image of her rubbing her clit might fuel his masturbating for another time. They both might love it when he flips her over and strokes off on her while her ass is high in the air. She may find out his most prevalent fantasies and talk dirty to him while he brings himself to the brink.

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So, what to do with a masturbator? A woman should do with him what she would do with any new partner—Take time to find out likes and dislikes. Together, a couple can figure out how much fucking, sucking, and erotic alone time is needed by each.

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Wind Blowing The Sail On Your Mast: Putting The Fun Back Into Masturbation

Sunday, November 14th, 2010

Masturbation is the most common sexual activity in the world – even men with girlfriends and wives often masturbate more often than they have straight up sex. Despite this fact, masturbation is rarely discussed, and has become a neglected part of a healthy sex life. Knowing how to take care of yourself is crucial, so we’ve come up with some solutions to make your masturbatory routine a more varied and tactile experience.

#1 The Fleshlight: While the fleshlight is the most costly suggestion on our list, it’s also the most rewarding. Shaped like a flashlight, the fleshlight is made of plastic that feels nearly like human skin. No word of a lie, sticking your cock in the vaginal opening for a quick fuck is magic. If you have the resources, we recommend the fleshlight for a reality based experience.

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#2 Apple Pie: American Pie popularized the hot apple pie technique years ago, however it’s now seen as a masturbation cliche. There’s no reason for this, as pie a perfectly viable way to get your rocks off (did I mention it was warm too?). Just remember to pull out before you bust a nut though, you wouldn’t want to add any special sauce to Sunday night’s desert.

#3 The Mattress Technique: This is the real reason box-springs were invented: just slip your cock between your mattress and box-spring and start fucking – and you’ll see what we mean. Pure bliss!

#4 A Bag of Vaseline: If you’re not a fan of the mattress technique above, it’s probably because you don’t like your masturbation quite as rough as we do. For those who aren’t satisfied with a rough ride, we recommend the good ol’ baggy of vaseline. It’s smooth, silky and sensual without too much mess (as long as you pick an appropriate bag).

#5 The Old Standard: With all of our tried and true methods, don’t forget that sometimes it’s great to masturbate with a clenched fist. It’s God’s way – so pump your penis hard with this old school technique on Sundays! Over and out.

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A Penis For Every Pussy

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

It comes as no surprise that penises come in all shapes and sizes. I still remember my friend recounting the day where, after switching up her sexual partner of seven years, she was shocked to discover that her new beau had a hook-shaped ding-dong. Not the most pleasant of surprises when you’ve been used to a more conventional looking tool. With that in mind, I present you with a list of some of the most popular penis shapes as well as tips on how to ‘make them work’.

Nov. 8 - A Penis For Every Pussy

1. The Thumb – This teeny weeny penis may be small, but its owner will most certainly try to make up for it. His lack of girth will make him take extra steps in pleasing you; so consider investing more of your time in foreplay. Another pro? No lubrication required.

2. The Hook – This unusual pecker is actually more common than you might think. With its characteristic and unexpected sharp turn, its hook shape can actually work wonders for hitting ‘the spot’ – regardless of the direction its facing.

3. The Garden Hose – While still lurking in its natural habitat, ‘the garden hose’ may seem like a standard penis. Once it comes out to play however, it has the capacity to make you gasp in horror upon discovering just how long it really is. The good side is that you won’t have to worry about it not reaching your ‘standards’. The bad side? Certain positions could be more painful than pleasurable.

4. The Washington Monument – Much like the classic tourist hotspot, this penis is wide at the base and tapers to a point. The best part? It only gets better and better as you go along. In this case, the deeper the better.

5. The Trunk – Similar in size to some of your favorite free porn stars – of the male variety, of course – this penis is the biggest of its kind. Long and wide enough to scare just about any sexual partner, it will provide you with sufficient bragging rights to keep them coming back for more.

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Top 5 Tips for Releasing the Death Grip

Friday, October 1st, 2010

Firm grip masturbation can often lead to a lack of enjoyment with sex and blow jobs. Many men have misguidedly grown accustomed to a firm grip when jerking off, leaving a high bar for any partner to reach with her mouth, hand and pussy. You may feel like you just don’t enjoy oral sex or hand jobs; after all, no one’s ever done it as well as you. If you are willing to put effort into easing up on the squeeze, this should be manageable for you. If you’ve got a willing partner you can communicate well with, you’re laughing.

What may be required going forward is to take a hands-free approach until you are able to resolve this. You need to work on retraining this poor, battered cock of yours. Here are a few tips:

1) No more hard firm grip, go cold turkey. This is going to take some discipline, but with help from your partner it should be manageable.

2) Use a gentle grip for the same amount of time it would normally take to come, and even if you don’t come, stop.

3) If you have a partner, show and tell her what you like. You can ask her to use more pressure as you wean yourself off of your grip and onto hers. Use this sparingly if you can, as you still want to be able to take care of yourself without resorting to old bad habits.

4) Use clear direction and regular progress reports. This allows you to make sure you keep her in the loop, as well as learning verbalize what you want.

5) Don’t feel badly. Understand this is reciprocal as well. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation and only 25% of us can climax with vaginal intercourse alone. Take your time and be patient.

Think of how good you feel when you get someone else off, and how much better she will feel when she, too, has that power; especially where so many women before her have failed. Then you’ll be busting a nut like a porn star!

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Bad in Bed: Damage Control

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

So you’ve met someone you’re into and you can’t wait to fuck the living daylights out of them. That is – until you get into their pants and they start doing some kind of silly buggers game that does not do anything for you. What gives?

There’s no nice way to tell someone they’re bad at kissing or suck at blow jobs, but the most effective approach is to make it about you. Start by telling them they are a wonderful kisser, blower, fucker, fister, or whatever is most applicable to your situation.

The most important thing to remember is to make” I” statements. This will allow you to help your partner get involved with raising up his or her skill level without saying that’s what you’re doing. Tell them you want to teach them how to blow or fuck or kiss you the way you want to be blown, fucked or kissed. Just tell them; give them the option of doing it right.

We all generally have fragile egos. Sometimes, though, we believe that they’re even more fragile than they really are. In all likeliness, your partner wants to make whatever it is they are doing work for you, and doesn’t think they’re the reincarnation of the world’s greatest porn star. Most people have learned ways that work for them and if your partner is tuned and you use the right kind of language about your own experience, they should be able to recognize that what you’re doing is best for both of them.

Talk in specifics and walk them through what you want. Break it down and show them step by step what works. Once they understand that they can pick it up more naturally and move from there. Whatever chemistry got you to where you are should work in tandem with these tips you provide. There was something that drew you together, and if you can get your physical needs to line up with them, you should be bouncing off the walls, or pussies and cocks, in no time.

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What to Do When Your Sex Drive Gets Rear-Ended

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

A long-standing issue many couples have is how to respond when their partner has a significantly higher or lower sex drive to theirs.

The key in any situation like this is flexibility. This might perhaps include the kind you get from regular yoga practice, but I’m referring more to the theoretical kind. There will be one person who wants more needs to tone it down a bit, and another who wants less that needs to pump it up a bit.

A good place to start is by identifying what qualifies as sexual activity. If you’re the one with a higher sex drive (and if you’re not, just reverse what I’m saying, and ask yourself what you’re doing reading a porn blog), and your partner is doing her level best at ramping it up on the full blown fucking, you should be able to happily accept a hand job or blow job when she’s not in the mood for sex. You have to be happy to keep your attitude positive about her concessions, and she will need to have a good attitude about it in turn.

You shouldn’t be made to feel like you’re tormenting her because you have “needs.” If you can get by with five minutes of her just standing there while you beat off into her lap in the morning; it stands to reason that she should be happy to do that for you. If she’s okay with letting you get his rocks off and you are okay with her not being bothered (albeit with a smile on her face, rather than a grimace) but not being as crazy hot for you as you’d normally prefer, you might find the compromise you’re looking for.

Alternatively, if what you require every time you get freaky is a 3 hour sex marathon and you get whiny or pouty if that doesn’t happen, you need to be slapped. Go find some free porn online while you’re hanging out in the dog house, where you deserve to be sitting for being such a pussy.

There is nothing that you can do that will turn someone who wants sex three times a day into someone who wants it once a week. There is nothing in the worth that will turn someone who wants it once a week into someone who wants it three times a day. Except old age. At some point you’re probably going to meet up with each other if you live long enough.

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Sex Toys for Boys

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Everybody knows that girls have all the good sex / masturbation toys. It’s just a fact. They have shit that’s either compact enough to use while in the middle of a meeting or big enough to think that it’s a Rube Goldberg contraption. And really, it’s not about who’s being unfair to who or wanting to spark a revolutionary competition, we’re just wired differently, men and women. It just so happens that girls tend to be able to utilize robotics a bit more conveniently than boys. Well, gentlemen, welcome to 2010.

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