Archive for the ‘Free Porn’ Category

Songs About Masturbation

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

It’s always fun to try to enumerate all the cultural references you can find about one of your favorite pastimes. Plenty of people count jerking off to free porn among their favorite things to do, so let’s take a look at a least a few of the popular songs that mention the activity that has been called waxing the missile, petting the cat, and firing the Surgeon General.”

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New wave fans remember Turning Japanese by one-hit wonders The Vapors. It was a tune all about a guy who had a picture of the object of his affection, but not the real thing. He even wished her doctor would take a picture of the inside bits. Anyway, the title of the song became a humorous and nervous-rock euphemism for jerking off.

Another favorite from the eighties is a tribute especially to female masturbation. According to singer Cyndi Lauper she does She Bop and so does everybody else… – men and women both; there’s a lot of women who simply can’t stop messing with their cilt.

Another great female masturbation scene happens in by Tori Amos. The main character in the song doesn’t just touch herself… she does it in a church, feverishly! Even mellow rocker Jackson Browne gave us Rosie on his 1977 album Running on Empty. The song was double entendre all the way through, and an ode to the palm-and-the-penis and the love affair they often have.

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On the punk front, there is the classic Orgasm Addictby the Buzzcocks. The song would still fit on anyone’s iPod full of current aggressive rock. The Network were more of a send-up of punk and new wave bands, and were rumored to be made up of members of Green Day and Devo. Their songs are not only tongue-in-cheek, but also quite good. Right Hand-A-Rama is a fun tune all about spanking the ol’ monkey.

It is impossible to list all of the great songs about self-pleasuring. For this list, the granddaddy of all masturbation songs is by seminal rocker Mr. Chuck Berry. If he didn’t play with his Ding-A-Ling who knows if Prince would have ever seen Darling Nikki enjoying herself in that hotel lobby?

Sex: Are You A Thrill Seeker or a Comfort Creature?

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

Jan 19 orgasm.com1When it comes to romping in between the sheets, there are essentially two types of fucking styles; the comfort creature and the thrill seeker. The first one I am describing tends to prefer to keep sex within the comfort of their own home, with one partner, and sticks to a few tried and true positions and routines. These ones are nothing like the people we would see on free porn. On the other hand, thrill seekers are complete opposite. They want new positions and toys, different partners or locations, and overall more sex. So, when it couple is made up of two comfort creatures, or two thrill seekers, they have it easy because they are essentially on the same page, sexually.

But what happens when a comfort creature falls for a thrill seeker, or vice versa?

It is often more common then you think, but most couples don’t realize this until much further along in they’re relationship. This is because in the beginning both partners have been under the spell of a potent neurochemical cocktail of infatuation which is responsible for constant canoodling, which masks any differences in the bedroom.

These hormones can actually mask other differences in the relationship, from how often you like to have sex to whether or not you enjoy public displays of affection. According to Psychology Today, “a person’s inherent need for sensation is not necessarily obvious in the early stages of a relationship, when love itself is a novelty and carries its own thrills-it’s when the sex becomes routine that problems occur.”

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Sexual compatibility can have a real impact on your relationship and I’m sure anyone reading this has been there at one time or another! Maybe you crave sex everyday, but your partner is perfectly fine doing it once a month. Maybe your partner likes to talk about sex, while the very word of sex makes the other blush. The question is, are you destined to break up?

Scientists say, not necessarily. The brain is the biggest and most powerful sex organ and it’s completely possible for sexually incompatible couples to have very compatible relationships. Great advice out of the University if British Columbia says longtime couples to rekindle the romance should pretend they are strangers on a first date. Experiment with wigs and different outfits and meet at a local bar. This will be sure to spice things up!

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Best-Selling Sex Books

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

For those who are looking for a bit of a break from all that free porn, how about switching to books for a change? Short of boring, these titles will provide you with all the sex you crave while enhancing your vocabulary at the same time. Talk about killing two birds with one stone! Below, we have have broken down some of Amazon’s (as in Amazon.com) best-selling titles focusing around the subject of intercourse.

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1. 365 Sex Positions: A New Way Every Day for a Steamy, Erotic Year by Lisa Sweet – What better way to start out the new year than with a book filled with new and exciting sex positions? Featuring everything from the ‘Pogo’ to the ‘G-Spot Striker’ you’ll never run out of options again.

2. Hot and Steamy: Sizzling Sex Stories by Darren G. Burton – The third in the highly acclaimed ‘Hot and Steamy’ series, Sizzling Sex Stories is just that. Packed full of erotica, these are bound to inspire you to try out some of your wildest fantasies.

3. Oral Sex He’ll Never Forget: 52 Positions and Techniques Guaranteed to Blow Your Man Away by Sonia Borg – An oral sex manual for alpha females who like to be in control, this book will teach you all the tricks of fellatio that will be sure to keep your man on his toes. With over fifty options – from sex toys to mouth movements – you’ll be sure to find something your partner will love.

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4. The Dirty Little Kindle Book Of Sex Quotes by Mark Zedler – If you’re like me, there’s nothing like a good sex quote to get you all hot and bothered. With over 30 different categories, the book features quotes by everyone from Ken Hammond to Kevin Coster. My personal comes from the iconic Marilyn Monroe who once said, “It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on”. Cheeky.

5. The Anal Sex Position Guide: The Best Positions for Easy, Exciting, Mind-Blowing Pleasure by Tristan Taormino – Whether you’re an anal sex enthusiast or merely exploring the territory, this anal sex positing guide will be sure to provide you with all the information you need to know on playing the flip side. From safety precautions to first-time positions, no question goes by unanswered.

Space Sex

Monday, January 17th, 2011

Jan 14 orgasm.com1Forget the mile high club…imagine joining the million mile high club!

We’ve seen those stupidly hot space fucking scenes on free porn, but when it comes to real sex in space, that’s a different story.

NASA has always been on the silent side when it comes to the subject of sex in space, which of course makes us all the more curious. How would it work? Has anyone done it? Can a child be conceived in space? And with only a few animal tests, there has been next to no scientific analysis on the issue.

That is until now!

The Journal Of Cosmology has published a special issue focusing on a mission to mars. In one specific chapter called “Sex on Mars” Dr.Rhawn Joseph talks about everything from the social conditions that would allow astronauts to have sex on the planet and the possibility of the first child being born on another planet. That kid would be the first real Martian!

“Human beings are sexual. They think about sex a lot. So if you’re on a trip to Mars, it’s going to be dark out, you’ll be in a long period of isolation, and there’s not going to be a lot to do. There’s a definite possibility that it could happen,” said Joseph.

The Journal estimated that overall that a Mars expedition would take at least two years to complete; nine months to travel there, three months to remain there for the study, and then nine months to return. Joseph said that since it is such a lengthy time for the trip, it is possible for emotional bonds to form between the astronauts, and it would be unwise not to anticipate them acting on those bonds.

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Since no one has officially come forth to say that they’ve actually had sex in space so he is basing his research on Earthly scenarios with similar conditions. One goal of NASA is to avoid any complications that would come with space procreation. Joseph suggests sending two separate spacecrafts-one containing only males and the other only females-or sending only married couples to Mars.

But first and foremost, he believes in being prepared.

The Downside To Relationships

Monday, January 17th, 2011

Aside from losing your afternoons of free porn and frequent sex, getting into a committed relationship means having to give up on some of your favorites aspects of living the bachelor life. Without wanting to depress you too much, we have come up with a list of things you’ll have to sacrifice when welcoming a significant-other into your life. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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Girl Friends – No, I don’t mean other ‘girlfriends’, I mean female friends. Try as you might, having another female figure in your life will be next to impossible. Given that your mother will already be skeptical of the newest female in your life, there is simply no extra room for a friend of the opposite sex. Attempting to keep her around will only lead to fights and constant bickering. It’s not worth it.

Your Day Off – As a bachelor, your days off probably consisted of television, video games, porn, and the frequent trip to the pub with the boys. Now, it will most likely consist of movie night, antique shopping and dinner at her parent’s house. A sad reality that happens to the best of us.

Flirting & Casual Sex – Perhaps one of the best aspects of being a bachelor is getting to enjoy some female variety. Back when you were single, venturing out to the bars and practicing your flirting skills was something of an art form. With a girlfriend in the picture, you can say ‘bye bye’ to casual sex and ‘hello’ to getting her to have sex in the first place.

Lack Of Financial Freedom – As a bachelor, spending money on beer and the latest tech gadget was never a problem. With your partner watching your every move however, you’ll be sure to hear plenty of snarky remarks as to why you’re spending money on “unnecessary objects”. It’s just yet another phenomenon of being in a relationship.

Having Your Own Space – To me, one of the worst parts of having a plus one is losing your space. Being alone will never be the same again. Be prepared to have her lurking around every corner and asking things like “Watcha doing?”. It’s enough to make your hair stand, but at the end of the day, you love her anyways.

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Fashion Crimes That Won’t Get You Laid

Friday, January 14th, 2011

oklahoma_sooners_girls_14After watching so much free porn, you’ll eventually be inclined to venture out into the real world in search of a more tangible method of relief. And by that, I mean having sex with a real girl (or guy, whatever strikes your fancy). Sometimes however, there are certain factors that could really be holding you back. Despite always being told not to judge a book by its cover – guess what? Everybody does. It’s in moments like these that what you wear could be seriously counting against you. For those who are not naturally fashion inclined, read on for a list of fashion crimes that will only ensure you never get laid again.

Sideways & Gangster Hats – If you’ve already graduated high school yet still insist on wearing a sideways cap, know that you probably look like a real tool. Those boxy, “gangster” caps also won’t do you any favors. Instead, opt for a Yankees cap or something a little more grown up.

Matchy-Matchy Outfits – If you can’t leave the house without matching your trousers to your shirt, to your belt, to your hat (and so forth), consider toning things down a little. Not only are you asking to picked on, but you’ll look like a real fruit parading around in your monochrome ensemble.

Wearing Affliction/Ed Hardy – If the douchebags from The Jersey Shore haven’t taught you anything yet, take a good hard look at what they wear. If you own any t-shirts made by Affliction or Ed Hardy, toss them out immediately. I can’t even begin to count the amount of times I’ve seen girls laugh over the losers that sports these around. Just because you have a giant tattoo printed on your shirt, doesn’t mean you’re a “real bad boy”.

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Too Much Gel – Nothing says ‘douchebag’ more than a head full of gel. If your hair looks more like a shiny hard hat than actual hair, consider lightening up the load on styling products. Women want to be able to run their fingers through your hair, not get them stuck in the process.

Short Sleeve Button Down Shirts – Think back to the last time you saw a guy wearing a short sleeve button-down shirt. Chances are the guy wasn’t exactly a cool looking fellow. Instead of walking around sporting the Dwinght Schrute look, opt for a traditional, long-sleeved button down and roll up the sleeves like a real man.

Hef To Get Playboy Back In His Hands

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

300.madison.hefner.marquardt.lc.092208The massive company, Playboy, has agreed to an offer from the man who founded it all, Hugh Hefner, to take the firm private after he raised his bid by 12%.

The Icon Acquisition Holding, which was controlled by Hef, offered $6.15 a share for publicly-listed Playboy, which ultimately values the firm at $210 million. Wowzers.

The 84 year old, who recently got engaged to a 24 year old blonde bombshell, already owns about 70% of Playboy’s Class A common stock and 28% of it’s Class B stock, but he wants it ALL!

There was outside competition from FriendFinder and Penthouse magazine which had offered $6.25 a share.

Hef, who is a God in my books, set up the Playboy magazine back in 1953, but, since the availability of free porn on the internet rising in recent years, circulation and advertising revenues have been failing drastically.

The company has been trying to transform it from a publishing and TV business into a “brand management” company in order to keep the profits coming and therefore has been licensing out the Playboy name and those infamous rabbit ears for a range of different products.

“I believe this agreement will give us the resources and flexibility to return Playboy to its unique position and to further expand our business around the world,” Hefner said.

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Hefner also revealed he wants his hands on everything the company owns in order to be able to pass on the entire thing to his sons when he is ready to retire and when they are ready to step up and run the family business.

In my opinion, I don’t care who is running it, as long as it is still up and going. Not just because of being able to see some of the most famous and gorgeous woman on the planet naked, but because the Playboy name has a sort of class attached to it and with all the amateur and trashy stuff you can find on the internet these days, it’s nice to see something more conservative once in a while.

The Best Legal Brothels In The World

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

As a self-professed free porn enthusiast, my love for everything and anything that has to do with sex is to be expected. One of my “hobbies” – if I can call it that – is to read up on brothels. And no, I’m not talking about seedy, filthy, hole-in-the-wall type brothels that treat their women like scum. I’m talking about the truly VIP spots that manage to celebrate sex while being the closest to heaven on earth most men will ever get. Read on for a list of my personal favorite spots all across the globe.

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1. Tiffany’s (Sydney, Australia) – I’ll start off by saying that every inch of this locale is painted red, making you feel like you’re in some sort of explicit dream. Catering to the rich and famous, this brothel features plenty of themed rooms and model-like ladies that know exactly what they’re doing.

2. The Bunny Ranch (Carson City, Nevada) – When on the subject of brothels, what better place than Sin City itself? Perhaps one of the only legal brothels in America, this spot is owned and operated by the self-labeled “Pimpmaster General”, Dennis Hof. With customers like Hugh Hefner and Howard Stern, you know that they must be doing something right.

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3. FKK Oase (Frankfurt, Germany) – We all know that German babes are some of the hottest in the world, and nobody showcases it better than FKK Oase. Located in the middle of the woods, this Greek inspired brothel prides itself in ladies that would put Aphrodite to shame. With plenty of cabanas spread throughout its property, you’ll be sure to have enough privacy while enjoying the great outdoors.

4. Nana (Bangkok, Thailand) – Resembling some sort of brothel-esque mall, this four story building features over 40 bars, all packed full of sexy exotic women. Unlike the previous high-end varieties however, you must learn how to negotiate in order to get what you want. On the bright side, there are enough options to satisfy every taste.

5. Big Sister (Prague, Czech Republic) – Possibly my favorite of all brothels, Big Sister follows in the suit of free porn by offering their services free of charge. You heard me. The catch however, is that after all is said and done, they get to showcase your romping session on their very own cable TV channel and website. If privacy is not an issue, this one is by far the best deal out there.

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Homemade Sex Toys

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

When free porn is simply not enough to get us by, we can often to resort to sex toys to have our cake and eat it too. Given our current economic state, however, spending a lot of money on a rubber dildo or cock ring isn’t always a pliable option. With that in mind, we have decided to play Martha Stewart and give you a list of homemade sex toys that will leave you wondering why you didn’t think of using them sooner. Often disguised as everyday household objects, these nifty little devices are also orgasm inducing. Who knew?

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1. Washing Machine – Also entirely interchangeable with a dryer, all you have to do is hop on during the spin cycle. Don’t believe me? Just look at it this way, the vibrations produced by your battery operated ‘Rabbit’ have nothing against a device built to tumble a significant amount of pounds in clothes. I rest my case.

2. Electric Toothbrush – Yes, perhaps it’s not the most sanitary thing in the world, but an electric toothbrush can certainly lend a helping hand in a pinch. Either use an old one or be sure to use the opposite side – always removing the actual bristles.

3. Mobile Phone – I’m sure you’ve heard jokes about it time and time again, but a mobile phone – much like an electric toothbrush – works because it vibrates. And when you don’t have a specific device for getting off, I suppose a cell phone will simply have to do.

4. Bathtub Faucet – Who needs shower heads when you have a faucet? Simply lay down, open your legs and let the water do all the work. Far more sanitary than an electric toothbrush (and mobile phone, for that matter) and you’ll actually walk away squeaky clean and fully satisfied.

5. Back Massager – Despite most women trying to pass off their vibrators as “back massagers”, things can actually work the other way around. Despite being a little too big for penetration, merely touching it to your nether regions will be enough to make you squeal. You’ll never go back to traditional sex toys again.

Lesbian Porn: On The Rise

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

imagesJuicy Pink Box isn’t your average porn company. The entire project is envisioned, founded and maintained by a woman Therefore, this is real lesbian sex captured in a professional and erotic experience; they say it has nothing on free porn.

According to the site, there is nothing but an original pornographic film series that are only available on this site and this site only.

Apparently each series is centered around one general concept and all of the episodes relate to the concept but can also stand alone as erotic vignettes.

According to the woman who is responsible for all of this lesbian porn, even though to me it’s not the kind of lesbian porn I’m looking for, they collaborate with artists and visionaries at achieve a high standard of quality. “Maintaining an elevated aesthetic is central to our work.”

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The main thing that she says is the difference between standard lesbian porn and her porn is that they do not script dialogue and all the reactions in the films and natural. “We are inspired by classic cinema, iconic photographers and progressive fashion trends.”

The word of Juicy Pink Box has been honored by screenings around the world, including Berlin’s Porn Film Festival, Cheries-CheriesLGBT Film Festival, and Cinekink 2010 in NYC. The site was also a 2010 Feminist Porn Awards nominee.

One of the most important goals of the site is to contrast itself with the more hardcore “dyke” porn that is often produced in San Francisco.

The front page doesn’t resemble anything like what most porn sites look like. The films are written, cast and shot for a lesbian audience that is turned off by so called dyke porn and also tired of male ideas about what makes good girl on girl action.

A recent study by a leading lesbian networking site showed that more than 70 percent of gay women would buy more porn if it were targeted to a lesbian audience.

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