Archive for the ‘Anal’ Category

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Toilet Sex

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

According to Spike.com, every man’s favorite go to website for sports, sex, and entertainment news, one of the most sophisticated sex positions out there for men is…wait for it…toilet seat sex.

Now, you’re probably wondering exactly what this means because it could go down many different roads. But, toilet seat sex is exactly what it sounds like; having sex while sitting on the toilet doing your business.

Yes, you heard right. Imagine sitting down on the toilet after a long days work, hoping to release some inner frustrations, when your girl walks into the bathroom and starts fucking you at the same time you’re taking your poop. Talk about killing two birds with one stone!

According to Kelly from spike.com, “the most exciting and interesting ways to have sex is on the toilet. It provides you with the opportunity to do your business while at the same enjoying a pleasurable experience.”

When I thought about this idea long and hard, it really did seem intriguing to me because who doesn’t like taking a shit and having sex? So, I decided to try it out for myself! Though trial and error, I came up with some tips and advice for all you out there who would like to try toilet sex:

First of all, you need to find a nice and comfortable toilet bowl. Sure, there are those ones that you can by for senior citizens who constantly have hemorrhoids and are covered with a thick, spongy, cushion, but that’s kind of weird. I would suggest using a regular toilet seat that has a nice shape to it and conforms to your body.

Next, you need to find a nice, sexy female who would be willing to have sex with you. If you have wives or girlfriends that are not sexually adventurous, then I’m sure they probably wont be into having toilet sex with you, just like they won’t be into free porn.

Once you find your girl, you want her to get into position on top of you like she would normally sit on your lap with her back facing you. You can then stick your dick inside of her. If you really want to be freaky and keep with the common theme, you can stick it in her ass.

What’s great about this position is that all the work is left up to your girl so you can concentrate on doing your business without having to do any work at all!

Some of you might not be interested in this, but don’t knock it until you try it! It can be completely thrilling and arousing, so give it a chance.

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Top 5 Lines No Man Wants To Hear

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

When it comes to dating, there are certain things that no man wants to hear. Ever. In order to keep from being totally and utterly humiliated, or just ticked off, read on for a list of the worst things that could be said to a man. Knowing them could certainly save you some face.

1. “I Only Drink Champagne” – We’ve all been there. You finally build the guts to ask that beautiful – and out-of-your-league – girl out on a date. Upon asking her what she would like to drink, she throws a bomb by claiming to only drink champagne. Great, there goes another $100. Let’s just hope you don’t end up watching free porn at the end of the night.

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2. ‘”Do Something!” – There is no appropriate time to hear those two dreaded words used in sequence. Needless to say, if you hear it mid sex, know that you need to work on your performance, and fast. In all other instances, consider your primal instincts. Men should be protective and “do things”, so start doing them before you look like a pussy.

3. “That’s Not The Right Hole’ – Whether you “casually” forgot about her distaste for anal sex or simply can’t tell the difference between the later and standard intercourse, getting a ‘that’s not the right hole” usually means your partner is already ticked off. Good luck with that.

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4. “Your Card Has Been Denied” – There is nothing more embarrassing that having a cashier suddenly announce to everyone (and their mothers) that your card has been denied. Bonus points if this happens while you’re with that girl that only drinks champagne. How grand that would be.

5. “Did You Just Fart?” – If you’re out in public, you can at least pretend as if it was someone else. However, if after prepping your bedroom for a night of wild sex – wine, candles and all – you decided to let one out, you might as well just send her home. Try not to eat so much rubbish next time, champ.

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There Are Two Sex Types-Which One Are You?

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

Would you prefer to have sex in a tent in the middle of the dessert? Would you like to have it in the bathroom at the restaurant? Or, would you rather be sitting on your couch watching some must-see TV?

In a new CNN report, sexpert Ian Kerner broke sexual compatibility into two simple categories: He says either you’re a “comfort creature” or you’re a “thrill seeker” (ie. a porn enthusiast!). Apparently, there is nothing in between, and you’re either at one end of the spectrum or the other.

He backs up his theory by saying that the comfort creatures feed off routine and therefore rarely feel like switching things up in the bedroom. They tend to keep things pretty simple and rarely spice it up. While the thrill seekers like to try new things; maybe a little anal, some bondage, whatever they are interested in dabbling into.

Furthermore, sexual compatibility is highest when you mate with a like minded date. In other words, the comfort creatures feel most comfortable with fellow geeks and computer nerds per se, and thrill seekers prefer those who like their sex hot and heavy, with a side of adrenaline.

A lot of you reading this are probably wondering what would happen if a comfort creature and a thrill seeker hooked up? Would there be a catastrophic explosion? Well, Kerner says it’s usually not a huge problem. Especially if you’re in that new love, butterflies in the stomach, zone where you can’t keep your hands off each other. It’s after your hormones subside months later and doggie style sex was a thing of the past, and missionary is the go-to position.

There is some good news to these findings Kerner says. I guess that if two people of two different styles end up dating, it doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship will be doomed. You just have to be honest with your partner and express exactly what you want. If you do that, than he says that you probably wont end up having a scary sexless marriage. And let’s be honest, we definitely don’t want that!

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Halloween Sex Positions

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

They say Christmas is the most wonderful time of they year. I completely disagree. Halloween is by far the best time of year because chicks have an excuse to dress up completely slutty and and they throw all their inhibitions out the window.

Halloween’s original purpose has totally transformed in the past couple of decades and amen for that! The idea of scary has turned into sexy and the only thing scary about Halloween should be the inner demons you release in the bedroom.

The devil inside of you and your partner will be shrieking and moaning all night long, and it won’t be because of a full moon. Try out these Halloween sex positions and you wont be disappointed:

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Tail in the Crypt: You and your partner make your way under your bed, aka the crypt, and start doing some anal play, aka the tail. I’ll leave it up for you to decade whether or not you’d like to annoyingly stimulate your partner with scratches on the back.

The Scarecrow: One partner is strapped to a cross brace and must act as if they have to skeletal system. The other partner gets to do whatever they want to the person tied up. Groping, teasing, prodding, and just about anything else you want.

Night of the Fucking Dead: Both partners start off in a standard missionary position, but once the dick is inside, that’s when things get interesting. Neither partner is allowed to use their arms or legs when fucking eachother. Just like the grunting and struggling zombies in the movie.

Pumpkin Head: Have your partner paint their face with orange and black makeup while you cut a hole in a box to act as the table. Your partner will kneel down with the pumpkin head poking out of the hole. You’ll stand in front , and put a candle, aka your dick, into the mouth of this jack-o-lantern.

Witches’ Brew: Fill a hot tub with brown food coloring, novelty eyeballs, gothic candles, and two slutty drunk chicks you found at the bar. A post witches brew shower is also in the cards.

Now you’re really ready to celebrate Halloween this year. Before you’re ready to get down and dirty, try watching some Halloween porn to get you in the mood.

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Anal Bleaching Debunked

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

In case you haven’t noticed, a porn stars’ ass doesn’t quite look like the real deal. For those who haven’t checked out their own behinds at some point or another, the skin surrounding the anus tends to be a little darker than its surroundings. Not exactly an attractive sight, but hey, it’s only natural.

Like they say, opinions are like assholes, we’ve all got one.

For those who expect to be flashing their asses in front a camera – or for their anal sex-loving partners – consider anal bleaching. A process that involves bleaching the anus, and it’s surroundings, to create a more even skin tone. Flash photography worthy.

Despite looking like an simple cream, anal bleach comes with a hefty dose of side effects and is even banned in countries like France and the UK. Since one of it’s active ingredients, hydroquinone, is a known carcinogenic, it’s not hard to understand why many frown upon the process. Many bleaching creams also come packed with Mercury and other dangerous chemicals, which could lead to cancer, liver/kidney failure and mercury poisoning. Further adding to the fact that anal bleaching is simply not worth it.

Hydroquinone, also used in hair dyes and photo processing, works by stopping the skin’s production of melanin, a chemical that is naturally produced by the human body as a means of sun protection. When exposed to UV lights, the skin may re-oxidize itself, which results in an over production of melanin and subsequently, an even darker ass. Though anal bleachers shouldn’t be too worried. After all, how much sun is your ass exposed to on a daily basis? If cancer and organ failures don’t scare you, consider the slightly less harmful side effects: thickened collagen fibers and spotty skin. Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

So before heading to a salon for your bi-weekly Brazilian wax and anal bleaching, consider the consequences of having a seemingly clean ass. It may look all “spic and span”, but on the inside, things probably don’t look as good. So if your boyfriend – or porn agent – keeps pushing you to get your ass bleached, tell them to test it out on themselves first. They’ll get the message.

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Porn & Politics

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

The media would like us to believe that the better portion of Americans are hitting the streets to cause a ruckus in the name of politics. In fact, voter turnout in America is at an all time low, and many are having trouble choosing which candidate should lead the free world.

Perhaps it is comforting to know that men are a little more prone to get political if they know that means a possible “win” for their own member. Two psychologists have recently claimed to have found a pattern between the American states which backed a winning candidate and the number of search requests for porn on the internet in that state.

In 2004, upon George Bush’s alleged “win”, rates of internet porn usage in the states that backed him surged. In comparison, states that supported John Kerry saw decreases. Remarkably, the same results were found in the 2008 election that featured Barack Obama and John McCain, as well as in the 2006 congressional election.

The study was conducted by Patrick Markey and his wife (who remains anonymous) – both psychologists interested in political phenomena. In an online interview Markley was quoted as saying, “If we saw this just for one election, you might chalk it up to chance, but we saw a pattern with it happening three times. It’s also cool that we saw these results with both Republicans and Democrats — that these were general results not just driven by one political party.”

The results may be indicative of more than just one political party being sexually active then another. Men aren’t usually prone to sudden masturbation sessions upon a successful victory are they?

Apparently, the husband and wife super team stumbled on their findings after working on studies involving testosterone levels. Related studies have shown extreme levels in testosterone, high or low, result in differences in sexual behavior.

American states which voted strongly for McCain in the 2008 elections had significantly lower levels of free porn consumption. Obama voters fared a lot better when he successfully won the election, causing a massive spike in online porn usage among the strongest states.

“We don’t know for sure if testosterone is the reason why we are seeing these changes in porn-seeking behavior, but it seems like the best explanation at the moment,” said Markey.
The only thing left to wonder is which party watched teen cheerleader sluts, or anal avengers.

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Porn Vs. Piracy

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

Last week, the Larry Flynt Internet Group filed a lawsuit in a Dallas federal court, suing 635 individuals allegedly guilty of reproducing and distributing Hustler’s Barely Legal Schoolgirls porn dvd through BitTorrent. Cases of porn producers targeting torrent users have been increasing among the industries leaders recently, a tactic that has been largely avoided until now.

Copyright complaints have been reaching a record high, now that torrent use has run rampant among the masses. The small amount of complaints, 2,200, that have been issued , pale in comparison to the actual free porn content available on the internet. The porn companies are allegedly targeting niche oriented porn downloaded first, so anybody into shemales or 18-year-old sluts, should be warned.

Piracy on the internet has allowed users to take advantage of supposedly free content, however the victimized companies are now counter attacking the overwhelming network of millions whom are consuming commercial entertainment for free.

Personal information is easily retrieved by companies, who mainly deal with large corporations like Bell, Verizon and Sprint. It is no surprise that with exponential increases in torrent use, that the the porn industry and its anal avenging porn stars are fighting back. It could be the last dying gasp of what was once the industry’s main profit sector. This is a evolving relationship between consumer and company – one that will never cease to produce new relationships.

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The Interior Cum Shot

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

Talk to any educated porn professional and they will tell you their take on the infamous money shot. The finale to any great fuck film, cum shots can be found in 99 percent of all films that feature a women and a swinging dick after sex.

If you have delved deeper into the arguments made by certain sexual education figures, it has been said that money shots are merely an example of male objectification or the height of misogyny, however no bone can dispute that is it the building block of modern sex tapes. Whether an example of female submission, a vitamin bath or male territorialism, or simple proof that the guy didn’t spill his seed at work, grand finales all depend on the perspective you choose.

The cream pie on the other hand, is an internal shot that allows viewers to see a porn star’s pussy or ass leak cum. It is a validation that the man actually came and has bred its own genre of porn. Fake internal cum shots are usually nothing more then a fake orgasm by the man on tape.

However, a new hentai is changing the way money shots are being viewed by giving an interior perspective. In the animation “cougar time” – the camera is literally placed inside a woman’s mouth, and viewers get to watch as the the glorious cum shot or sakogamochi occurs. The japanese expression for “past the teeth” is the equivalent to the american cum shot term.

The cum shot could be seen as being beneficial for a woman, so that she doesn’t suffer the same fake orgasms that men seem to witness too often. Its time we outfit porn stars everywhere with interior cameras so we can watch some anal, vaginal or oral cum shots for the first time.

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The Ins and Outs of Dating in the Sex Industry

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

So you want to date within the sex industry. A risky proposition to be sure, but there are benefits. The first thing you need to keep in mind is that you need to set a goal. What do you hope to achieve by dating a stripper or porn star? A few nights out with a hottie on your arm? Sex? True Love?

Once you’ve determined what you want out of the relationship, take a look at our dos and don’t of dating a certified whore. If you don’t follow these points, you could be in for a world of hurt.

DO remember that you’re not special. This girl has 100′s of men to choose from per day, and it’s her job to make you feel like you’re the only man she’s interested in. So bear in mind that she’s playing the odds with you – but that you probably don’t have what it takes to keep up with her.

DON’T call her without announcing your name. Strippers and porn stars have cell phones full of men’s names and numbers, so remember to remind her of who you are, unless you like being embarrassed.

DO carry a lot of cash on you at all times. The sex industry is rich, and if you’re not willing to shell out, you’re dating the wrong kind of girl. In fact, it will probably take you a few dates before she fucks you, and you can expect those dates to cost you more than just renting a hooker.

DON’T ask her about her tattoos and fake tits unless you want to look like a wannabe, or worse yet, another one of her customers.

DO remember to confiscate the battery to her cell phone at some point during the evenings you’re out with her, or it will ring off the hook with other men who are interested in the exact same thing as you are. You don’t want to run the risk that one of them makes her a better offer before you’re finished your date.

DON’T go see her at work unless you have to. It’s best to avoid watching your girl taking off her clothes for other men – unless that’s something you’re into.

If you’ve come though these dos and don’ts undaunted, there may be hope for your love life with a sex worker yet. Remember though, unless you love competition, a normal girl is probably the way to go – as long as she likes it in the ass on a consistent basis.

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Facial Flashbacks: When Nice Girls Get Dirty

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

Have you ever sat down to watch a porn movie and wondered: why have I never fucked my girlfriend like the big boned stud on my computer screen? It’s a good question, and a scenario that most men experience at some point in their lives, especially when they want to embrace their sexuality in a full and fulfilling way. The trouble is, most North American men are stuck treating their partners as friends rather than lovers, and this sets a dangerous precedent in relationships.

The line between being friends and lovers is where facial cumshots come in. There’s no better way to let your partner know you’re serious about getting dirty than busting your load off over her waiting lips. Sure, there’s a measure of dominance and taboo associated with facials, but this is key: it keeps your sexual chemistry from fading, and adds an element of overt dirtiness to an otherwise vanilla relationship.

With this said, it’s important to keep your sexual identity separate from your day to day interactions with your partner. This will help you fuck like a porn star in the bedroom, and stay friends outside of it. Besides facials, try rimming your girl until she lets you stick your cock in her ass. Make sure you use lots of lube and get her moaning – there’s nothing like an anal orgasm to put the spice back in your jalapeno pepper.

So go forth and fuck like the dirty debutant you are! We all have a little Lexington Steele in us, and your relationship might depend on you letting your inner Lex out!

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