Despite having previously shown you some of the most bizarre sex toys on the market, leave it to the Japanese to step things up a notch. After a friend’s recent trip to Tokyo, he returned home completely mesmerized by the things he had seen in their local sex shops. Below, I’ll cover some of the most noteworthy. They’ll put most of your “shocking” porn films to shame.

1. The Plasma Sperm - This microscope kit may look like it was meant for young children, but one glance at the title – and its logo – instantly puts things in perspective. Short of innocent, this magnifier was designed for men who are interested in taking a good hard look at their own sperm – or somebody else’s. The makers of this ingenious device claim that it serves as great tool for determining low sperm counts and are trying to have babies. However, I think that process is better left to the experts. Physically taking count of your sperm is just sad.

2. Vibrating Cangina – Given the popularity of the Cangina (that’s a vagina in a can for you amateurs), the Japanese managed to take things one step further by coming up with a brilliant way of making your Cangina vibrate while getting yourself off. By simply inserting it into the device, you’ll have yourself a Cangina that vibrates in all its glory. And for those who require a little something extra, try “The Clapper”, these creepy little plastic hands tightly grab your penis for an orgasm that is just as awkward.

3. Plush Sex Dolls – For those who can’t necessarily spend a couple thousand dollars in one of those creepily realistic sex dolls, consider a cheap plush one instead. Resembling your favorite anime characters, ‘Kumi’ even comes equipped with an interchangeable plush pussy. Unsanitary doesn’t even begin to describe it.

4. Weird Vibrators - Ladies, don’t think that I forgot about you. Japan sells vibratos resembling just about anything you can dream of. From corn to cucumber, you can also go cliche and opt for a Hello Kitty “back massager”. For the extreme, they also sell a life size hand that is permanently set in the ‘fingering’ position.

5. Bizarre Figurines – If sex figurines are right up your alley, Japan offers some of the best and most detailed of them all. One in particular depicts a naked woman that is all tied up and seems to be in serious despair. The attention to detail is so great, that the makers even include a small box with multiple micro dildos and a mini bottle of lube.