Last night I had a dream I was banging one of the sluts from Jersey Shore. I’m not sure which slut it was, they’re all the same herpes-ridden drunkards. If you’ve had dream sex with one, you’ve had dream sex with them all. I was completely repulsed and cursed myself for not dreaming of someone more attractive like Joslyn James, but it gave me an excellent idea. What celebrities do people want to see naked? Get a load of Wednesday Adams’ tits and many more after the jump.
After polling my friends I received some very exciting responses. I changed their names to respect their privacy and yes, some of these celebrity sex photos are doctored or animated. Use your imagination. It’s not hard.
Mike – “I want to fuck the crap out of Rihanna and tape it. I’d send it to Matt Kemp and be all like, ‘Hey I fucked your ex and I’ll keep fucking her until the Dodgers win the World Series.” (Mike loves the Dodgers. Once he saw ex-catcher Russell Martin in a restaurant and almost came in his pants. True story.)
Logan – “I want to see Nicole Kidman’s tits. It’s more of a curiosity thing because she looks like she’s made of soap and plus I’ve never had sex with a white girl before. I bet they’re all made of soap.” (Logan is African-American just in case you didn’t get that from his response.)
Tim – “I’m like, haunted by the opening scene in Blake Snake Moan where Christina Ricci is fucking Justin Timberlake. I need to correct that by having sex with Christina Ricci myself. Her tits are kind of weird and her ribs are always showing but whatever, maybe I’m secretly into anorexic chicks? Should I watch anorexic porn? Does that exist?” (Tim, Orgasm.com has XXX clips of skinny chicks getting fucked.)
David – “Charlize Theron. I need a reason to want to see her tits? They’re good tits.” (David has seen Monster a lot even though, Charlize is fat in it.)
Jensen – “I want to make a porn with the Gossip Girl girls. I dunno their names but I want to bang them both at the same time until I or they go blind.” (Their names are Blake Lively and Leighton Meester and I bet Lively’s an airplane blonde.)
Carly – “I bet Peyton Manning fucks dirty. I’d pay good money to see a porn with him and Tony Dungy sucking each other’s dicks. No wait. I wanna see Peyton bang Reggie Wayne. No, no, no, Jeff Saturday! Wait…” (Carly went on and on about wanting to see Peyton Manning fuck or get fucked by every member of the Indianapolis Colts. Then she teared up when she remembered that the Colts had released Manning. Poor girl.)
Sorry Carly, that’s all you get, a grainy pic of Peyton without a shirt. Hope you have room for it in your lady spank-bank.
Tags: Joslyn James, Porn, Sex, tits, XXX