While this is a world where almost every book, every TV show, every movie is available for people to enjoy and through various sites almost everything anyone needs to know about anything is as close as a few clicks of a mouse away, a lot of men and women have what are basically immature and even emotionally damaging views about sex and sexuality. Many sex researchers and therapists have proven time and time again that by looking at sex as a product or as something only to be bragged out, or as a status symbol, the people with these viewpoints must have less satisfying sex lives. Like the typical giggling school girl or the testosterone-addled teenage boy, sometimes we see sex as merely titillating and not the life force it really is.
It’s not that hard to figure out: by looking at sex as anything but having fun with another person, or even just with themselves, they take control of how they feel out of their own hands and put it into the hands of other people: simply put, they live to impress people they don’t even know and because of that they will never have a comfortable or accepting sexual relationship. We need to live for ourselves and the good feelings we can give to our partner, not anyone’s idea of when, how or who we should be fucking.
By looking at people as someone fun to have sexual enjoyment with the pressure then becomes simply pleasure and not status or bragging rights or such; which means, because they are relaxed, these people will have a much more enjoyable time. They will also not have unrealistic expectations and instead of looking at sex and their sexual partners as tokens they will see them as what they are, and what everyone is: a human being.
So while it can be difficult to change the way you feel about sex and eroticism give it a try as thinking of it as anything but pleasure, shared or not, can only result in being unhappy in all kinds of ways; including sexually. We need to try and be open to all the ways sex enters our life so we can enjoy it to its utmost and grow with its use.
