One of the biggest discussions among those who read sexy novels is the difference between alpha males and Dominant men. For those who do not read kinky romance novels, the difference is often misunderstood and confused. Some women see the overbearing dominant male as sexists, crude and downright useless.
Others crave his powerful sexual appeal. It’s raw, it’s exciting and it’s arousing when the man comes in swinging his cock as though it were the biggest dick his mate or partner has ever seen. The thrill can be exhilarating for a woman who loves the ultra-dominant act. But for many women, that action stops at the bedroom and in the real world she is his equal.
Both men have to take charge of situations. Both men feel the need to control and the underlying reasons behind this need for control is generally the same. A belief that his way can guide his heroine into safety feeds his need to be a leader.
Often times both men will be in powerful positions either as corporate CEOs or highly trained military experts, these men are used to getting their way. The alpha male will continue that power trip at home while the Dominant male will use it as a role in the bedroom for sexual arousal that has been negotiated upon beforehand.
In the real life bedroom similarities exist too. Whether he’s using ropes and handcuffs, spankings and scarves, or just good old fashion strength to make his point, he’s still on top. His goal is pretty much the same, drag something from the woman that she wants to give but doesn’t know how. She’s generally afraid to ask and that fear is often masked as stubbornness or anger. Sometimes it’s blatant fear. In erotic romance novels, sex is used as a weapon to uncover the key issue and develop the plot as well as draw out the conflict.
His ability to see past her defenses as an alpha male or Dominant is what spurs him on to guiding her. It’s not until he’s learned to grow through the plot that he realizes he’s guiding her as she’s guiding him, but that’s another article. In the end, the two types of men are really one and the same. Labels are just for publisher and reader convenience as they help readers define the characters for the appropriate markets.