Beyond the obvious physical sensation of feeling another person touch our skin, investing time, energy and maybe even some band-aids into a real-life kink scene, the question of, is real life play better then on-line, isn’t so easily answered.
First, there are the disadvantages to weigh. The minute we let another person into our sexual world, even briefly and even with specific rules and regulations, we welcome the thin veneer lifted from our fantasy and the possibility of how we think we want things to go and how they actually do proceed while another person acts through our kink with us. Sometimes the unknown works in our favor, another person’s style can add unimagined richness to a scene –
just their speech and temper can invest a meeting with nuances we have heretofore never imagined. But there are also the needs of our partner to consider and since so much of a fetish is in one’s head, so much of a what a kinky person has envisioned has been in the pristine environs of one’s imagined world, where everything happens like clockwork. Seldom do we really think about another person’s need when we are playing on line, but the second we let a play partner in, no matter how attractive they are or how adept they boast, the simple act of seeing their hopes, dreams, habits and quirks alive before us can become problematic.
Then there is the worry, as every dating couple finds, of one person coming to want the other more. The advantages of a real life play partner are many as well. Finally, one can engage kinks that need another person, not just masturbating to some fetish object or porn stash we keep hidden. For certain types of play another person is wholly necessary and better executed with a real life human being – it’s rather hard to spank oneself effectively! Hearing someone else’s reaction in real time, seeing someone’s body undulate or shifting ours to reasoned tickles, touches, swats or suggestion, coaxing an orgasm or feeling one forced from us, all because another person is standing in the room with us is quite a heady thing to people who might only ever play on-line.
What one needs to determine is if the possible good will out weigh the possible bad – if the off-putting speech, smells and wants won’t completely put off the activities both people want to engage in, and if at the end of the day will both partners enjoy their scene better in person then on-line.