There are just too many ways to get found out these days. The closer we get to a friend, the more we even try to hide from a family member, all those secrets we don’t tell a sex partner, it’s still too easy for our deepest, darkest secrets to be known.
Even people with so much to lose, but who have great money in which to insulate themselves, can leave a text message on their phone or an open email. Double-checking, protocols in place, separate accounts, the anonymous nature of the net – still, there is something we might forget to hide.
For men and women courting a fetish they keep secret, the way is precarious at best. Not only are they engaging, or want to engage in something slightly unusual to the common person, but they are opening themselves up to scrutiny, derision and judgment from lovers if and when they reveal their ache for a spanking, or the desire to pee on a lover. This is why so many people simply hide their fetish.
But the manner in which one hides their kink can vary. For many, they simply only ever play on-line, engaging their desires over chat emails, watching free porn, or camming with like-minded kinksters. The Internet allows great freedom with its built-in anonymity.
For others who need to feel the sting of the lash across their flanks for real, or have an all consuming need to cross-dress in a room full of their peers, they search out the closed ranks of private play parties or well known safe play spaces. To keep one’s fetish close to one’s leather vest and not have to worry about the embarrassment of a kink being detected by some unsuspecting lover or family member, one must either stay within the confines of on-line social sites specific to a specific sexual desire or make sure the group one runs with have as much to lose by detection as they do.