Do you have a special desire that you are afraid to talk about? Do you think that what you would like in your relationship or in the bedroom is just too unconventional for your lover? Are you held back by a general shyness when it comes to emotions and sex? You are not alone. Many people experience these kinds of anxieties. Between taking the time to work on skills to allow you to be more expressive and meeting like-minded people who are a match for what you want out of life, the resources are out there to help you give and receive all you want out of love and life.
If you do believe that your sexual or relationship desires are non-mainstream, it may be a productive idea to seek others who are like-minded as you begin to seek serious partnership. Being with someone who holds similar ideals and who has compatible interests and kinks will prove many times more fruitful. If you are polyamorous and like to make love outside on a secluded beach, does it make sense to try to forge a relationship with someone who is monogamous and expects to only do it behind closed doors? Those are just basic relationship factors that should be in sync. If you have more exotic tastes like costume play or diapers that even mainstream porn doesn’t always show us, there are groups for you to discover online and elsewhere to help you meet your special someone.
Do you have a friend you can trust? If so, you may want to consider a role-playing game. It sounds corny at first, but try it. Say you want to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you want to try anal sex but you feel nervous. Go over it a few times with the friend youve already been confiding in about it. Say it a few different ways. The friend will be able to help you find the way that you think you’ll be able to express it.
Ultimately, the goal is this: Trust your lover. Being in a relationship means existing together in a consciousness of love and trust. The ideal is to honor each other and all of your wants and needs. If its love, you will weather exploration and newness together.