They’re pulling out all the stops this year and there are some pretty outrageous christmas presents out there that wont do you any good! I don’t know about you, but I’m less concerned with family and turkey during Christmas, and a lot more focused on getting laid. So, if you feel the same type of Christmas spirit as I do, check out these Christmas gifts that WONT get you laid.
Mistletoe Underwear
If you hear some bells ringing and you don’t know where it’s coming from, it could be from a dude wearing a mistletoe thong! Some guys are just doing it all wrong this season and wearing one of these things is a definite factor in not getting you any action this Christmas season.
The Cookie Sutra
The Karma Sutra book illustrated with cookies isn’t something that will necessarily get anyone one in the mood.
Babeland Blowjob Expert Kit
This is basically the equivalent of giving your girl a vacuum for Christmas, except for the fact that you want her to be the vacuum.
Candy Cane G String
The only thing that this Christmas present is going to do is creep everyone out.
Adult Mistletoe
This gift comes with the mistletoe and the condom. Just like the packaging says, “you never know what a kiss will lead to!”
“I’m a ho ho ho” T-shirt
I’m sure your girl will not appreciate you giving her a shirt that says she’s a ho.
Flashing Pecker Santa Hat
It’s the fastest way to spot a dick head, and therefore will not get you laid!
Lip Locked Lesbians Ornament
Two naked girls making out on a christmas ornament may not be the best way to inform your girl that you want her to have a three-some.
“Santa’s Little Slut” T-shirt
There is no woman out there who appreciates being called a slut, even the chicks on free porn don’t like it!
Sexy Penis and Boobie Stockings
Your girl wakes up to find a big, red fury dick and set of tits hanging by the fireplace with care. You’re not getting any action today.
So, take note guys, if you want your Christmas to be really special this year, do not buy any of these gifts!
