Woody Allen famously said, “Don’t knock masturbation; It’s sex with someone I love.” Whether it be all by your lonesome or incorporated into sex with a partner, do like Woody and love yourself! There is no greater pleasure than that.
Do it when you’re about to fall asleep. I started choking the chicken at bed time at the young age of 14 because that’s the only time I could get some privacy. Somewhere along the way bed time became linked hand in hand with sexy time and now it’s hard for me to have a good nights rest without it! Which could be a good thing or a bad thing, I’m still trying to figure that out.
Do it when you wake up. Nothing says “Good morning world!” quite like a solo quickie first thing in the morning. It’s a proven fact that is yields the same endorphins as a morning jog would without the whole getting out of bed thing. The trick here is, however, to get out of bed as soon as your done or else you will easily fall back asleep.
There is no safer sex in the entire universe than having a night with just you and your hand. Good bye pregnancy! See ya STDS!
There are often times when intense horniness and extreme laziness strike at the exact same moment. When that situation arises it’s best to wrap some limbs around a partner and slowly diddle yourself to a dreamland, however, a lot of people are not comfortable with letting someone watch you do it. Many feel vulnerable and exposed and refrain from doing it, when it can actually be very hot and sweet.
Masturbation is a great way to bridge the gap between two lovers who are trying their shot at a long distance relationship. Whether it be phone sex or Skype sex, it can actually bring some passion into the relationship despite being 3,000 miles apart.
It is totally impossible to get bored hanging out alone when you have the ability to beat the meat, clutch the camel, flog the log, or whatever you want to call it while watching some free porn on your laptop.
Are you a procrastinator? Then you should try your shot at procrasturbation. It’s a combination of procrastination and masturbation and it will only help in getting your history paper in on time.
Whether it be Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday; they’re all great days to get a little masturbation time in.
Tags: Free Porn, Masturbation, Sex