Picture yourself at a fundraising carwash, the kind where you pay ten bucks for two porn stars with big tits to come and clean your windshield with their mammoth mammaries. Now imagine those same sluts throwing their slabs on your Escalade’s windshield and your world going dark. The thought is scary – while we all love breast implants there’s a point at which big is just too big.
Take Heidi Montag as a prime example. When Heidi first appeared on The Hills she was a skinny flat chested blonde with a big nose. Sure, we would have fucked her (perhaps even multiple times), but without much to talk to we would have moved on to bigger and better things. Heidi may be dumb, but she was smart enough to realize that her value wasn’t nearly as high as it could have been so she went under the knife to have her face fixed and her tits done. The end result was a minor miracle as Heidi was transformed from an average beach slut to a superstar – the kind of big breasted blonde that embodies the American dream.
With that said, when Heidi went under the knife again for an extreme makeover this spring, she pushed her look too far. There’s a fine line between bombshell and alien, and Heidi passed it by having her face pulled tighter than Joan Rivers and supersizing her breasts so that they resembled flesh colored bowling balls. Yes, we’d still fuck her, but much like the original version of Heidi, her stock was greatly reduced.
So when it comes to tits, there’s such a thing as too big. As a rule, tits shouldn’t block the sun, they should simply allow the sun to highlight their bulging contours. Looking natural isn’t necessarily the prototype that should be aspired to – after all, men love fake breasts – but women who look deformed are quite simply unattractive. Hollywood – take note!
Tags: fuck, fucked, Porn Stars, tits