Archive for September, 2010

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Disney’s New Neighbor: A Porn Studio?

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Signs are mounting to indicate that Disney might be expanding their thematic palate in the near future. Rumors of Disney looking to lease a warehouse at 16th and Folsom have inundated the blogosphere in recent days – an area that’s well known as a venue for shooting bondage porn aka right next door to Fucking Machines studios. Who said that Disney would never meet the likes of Jenna Jameson?

That isn’t to say that Mickey Mouse will be getting a dick any time soon (not that we’d be opposed to such a thing). A realtor who talked to the SF Chronicle speculated that Disney would be interested in this particular location for a far simpler reason. They’re quoted as saying that the “hip, cool, artistic vibe of the mission” probably appealed to the animation giant. Yeah, because those are the first adjectives that come to mind when someone mentions the Jonas brothers.

Hip, artistic and cool might apply to Disney spoofs such as “Poke her hot ass” however, and you can only hope that’s where Disney is going with this. After all, who wouldn’t pay for some Disney animated porn? Sounds like the perfect modern update on the free sex videos that are swimming in cyberspace at the moment. Either way, the idea of Disney getting naked is too hard to resist.

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Porn Presented at Pennsylvania High School

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

High school is a time for growth – academically, socially, intellectually and sexually. Make no mistake, high school is a formative experience, and is often the first place teenagers are exposed to porn. Normally, this exposure comes in the context of peer pressure – perhaps a friend finds some old magazines in his father’s closet, or some free porn on the internet – but rarely is it due to school faculty.

This was the case on September 10, 2010, however, as 400 students in a Pennsylvania high school were exposed to pornographic pictures on a Central Blood Bank employee’s flash drive. Sure, we all have porn on our flash drives, but this seems a little overt – what ever happened to burying your porn in folders that aren’t linked to work? It would seem that blood boy was a little too eager to ogle the lithe naked bodies he enjoys on his computer. The school has released a statement saying that they’re “still trying to determine how [this] occurred.”

It’s a consolation that most of the kids exposed to the images displayed before the Blood Bank employee’s presentation have seen porn before, however this clearly creates a legal conundrum for the school in question. There’s no doubt that parents will sue in this case, as school really isn’t the place for their children to watch people fucking.

Apparently, the porn pandering employee in question wasn’t allowed to finish his presentation and the police are still mulling whether charges should be laid. Perhaps the nature of the porn shown should be used to determine our hombre’s punishment. After all, I could sure use more porn at work myself, and wouldn’t want to punish anyone who had only entertained.

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English Family Accidentally Hosts Porn Shoot in the Garden

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

A family in England was host to a recent photo shoot, however things got a little sexier then anticipated when the models proceeded to get naked. The Glover family was asked by several sexy young women if they could use their country side estate for the background of a promotional brochure they were taking photos for. The mother, Vanessa Glover, realized that their seemingly innocent photo shoot had turned into a soft porn photo op once the girls starting stripping and posing provocatively next to the family horse.

Mrs. Glovers 11 year old son was noted as saying “They’ve forgotten to put their pants on, mum.” The girls began to dress themselves in cowboy hats, leathers riding chaps and their birthday suits. The group of girls had originally booked an hour of rehearsal time at a village hall near Bishop Aukland, County Durham, across the road from the family home.

The father of the family, Andrew Glover, was on a business trip at the time, and heard of the surprise porn shoot after reading his 13 year old son’s facebook status. It read: “Result! A strip club just came 2 our door askin if they can have some fotos in our field! Get in!”

Mr Glover, who runs a media company, joked on his blog: “My son has frankly not been the same since the incident. And of course my wife saw it all. What a waste.” The father was more upset that he missed seeing some sexy young teens strip down next to his stallion it seems. He did not seem that worried that his boys had seen the naked ladies however.

The Hamsterley Village hall is host to bridge clubs, badminton and art classes, yet the mysterious rehearsal was booked by two men and the women. Those involved with the naked photo shoot have not been seen since. Mr Glover said: “It’s certainly not the kind of thing you expect in Hamsterley really. We have no idea who they were but my wife said they were very polite indeed.”

Its good to see some homegrown porn that doesn’t offend everyone. You may want to take the children to a friend’s house if the buck naked beauties start to do anything truly pornographic. Considering the unusual circumstances. It seems the naked photo shoot went over surprisingly well in the quite little English town.

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New Google Feature Censoring Adult Content

Sunday, September 12th, 2010

“With great power comes great responsibility.” The wise words of Uncle Ben ring true for the super power that is Google. Google is a powerful tool that can be used for great things. Google instant search gives you real time results as you type – predicting your queries. Unless your searching for sex related things that is.

Earlier today, google launched instant search to the US, with an international release coming later next week. The search shifts will deliver results while you type, no kicking or hitting enter will be required. Simply typing the letter w will bring up weather forecasts, or the search you’re most likely seeking.

However, those of you sex searching all day wont be able to type in “tits” for example. Only a empty blank page will greet you, not the joy of our Dickipedia entry on “tits”. It doesn’t matter if your safe search is disabled, the instant results simply censor out naughty content.

When Google was asked about this feature earlier today at a question session, the director of product management said the friendly feature is being used to protect children. Limiting offensive content will allow the majority of users receive information that wont be diluted with sexual content.

It’s a smart feature for the site and will likely keep seven year olds interested in the pussy cat dolls out of trouble. Those of us who are adamant on finding free porn will still be able to do so with extreme ease, so don’t get your panties up in a knot. The decision to exclude naughty words might eventuality be remedied with another censor feature, for now though us pervs will have to continue to hit the old reliable enter key before going on our porn hunt.

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Winona County Declares War On Porn

Saturday, September 11th, 2010

Middle America is known for its right wing political agendas and overly keen interest in private citizen’s bedrooms. In Winona County, Minnesota, county commissioners have taken their meddling to a new level, announcing a “clean hotel” policy that forbids county employees from staying in hotel rooms that offer pornographic movies. While Winona County only employs 334 people, this latest ban goes beyond the small community and violates the civil rights of its employees.

By attempting to control what their employees consume in their private lives by banning porn in hotel rooms, Winona County is opening up an old debate. Unfortunately, they aren’t sticking to the rules either, claiming that porn leads to sexual assaults despite evidence to the contrary. Pornography, a medium enjoyed by nearly every citizen in America, has never been linked to negative activities in viewers. In fact, many studies show that porn enhances the sex lives of its viewers, and many types of porn are used therapeutically in patients with erectile dysfunction.

This is simply another instance of political propaganda taken too far. Thank God for the internet, where free porn is prevalent and the citizens of America won’t be persecuted for enjoying a goof fuck or fisting to help them relax after work. Hell, the citizens of Winona County are clearly in need of online porn to cheer them up in light of this latest ban. Let’s hope they bring their laptops to hotel rooms around the country so they can enjoy top quality adult entertainment on sites like orgasm.com.

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How to do Nude Beaches

Friday, September 10th, 2010

Around the world you can find nude beaches full of people whom let their freedom flag fly. A naturist is a name given to someone with a penchant for social nudity, however you may not be quite the naturist yet.

A chance to stay beachside near a clothing optional B&B can reveal some of the joys of letting go of your inhibitions. Here you’ll find some of the top tips for letting it all hang out at nudist beaches. It’s the most fun you’ll have with your clothes off besides sex.

If you want to be a bit closer to nature, or simply get rid of those tan lines you’ve got to swap the bathing suit for your birthday suit. Drop your trousers and let your wang hang. So you know for future reference, the flaunt it rule does not always apply in all cases. If you get a hard on for some nice tits beside you, its generally unacceptable to show off your new found friend woody.

You will need some confidence for this thing if you are a little skeptical of rampant exhibitionism. It may feel wild and liberated, however nudist beaches are not the best place to practice pole dancing or yoga poses. Unless you truly enjoy showing off those giant tits, or perhaps that giant cock.

If you’re lucky enough, you might find yourself sitting beside some fine young hunnies, however this is not an open invitation to hop on her right on the beach. Sex isn’t uncommon on a nudist beach, however a free porn show is not generally accepted by the large portion of people there. Just because you’re half way there, doesn’t mean you should take advantage of the situation. There is always the ocean.

Before you start to wander off the beach, pay attention to the people around you, not the entire beach may be nudist. You don’t want to end up having an awkward confrontation with beach patrol in a clothing area of the beach.

If you’ve gone so far to go nude at the beach, you’re likely feeling liberated and one with the world. If you find yourself stripping naked when the sun shines through the office window, it’s probably time you pack up and move to a commune.

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Porn as Therapy?

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

When pornography is discussed in a mainstream context, it’s normally villainized by right-wing politicians who use it to serve anti-sex agendas. While this might not seem fair, the general public is becoming more open minded and some are even incorporating lessons learned from porn into their everyday lives. So let’s forget the negative press devoted to porn, and look at what porn can do for you!

1. Therapy: Talk to any sexologist and they’ll tell you that porn is a valuable therapeutic tool. For whom you may ask? The answer is varied, but mainly the impotent. After all, who wouldn’t get aroused by a chick having double penetration in the back of a bus, or a fake titted whore taking bukkake from about 10 guys? Even those who have a hard time getting it up would agree that these are stiffening scenarios.

2. Education: Sure, teenagers could wait for their parents to sit them down and have an awkward conversation about sex with them that would ultimately just end in more uncomfort. This is where free porn comes in. The internet is full of porn that can be used as an educational tool for sexually inexperienced teenagers of legal age. We live in a visual culture, and there’s no better way to learn how to fuck than to watch a couple of hotties in action.

3. Acceptance: Porn films often portray actors from a variety of different racial backgrounds, and are inspirational in their inclusiveness. Before you criticize, consider the implications of 2 guys fucking a girl at the same time. To do this, one has to be comfortable with his sexuality, and reject the homophobic consensus that rules North America.

There’s much to be learned from porn, so don’t close off your mind, and certainly don’t close your eyes. You wouldn’t want to miss a moment of the action!

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The Ins and Outs of Dating in the Sex Industry

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

So you want to date within the sex industry. A risky proposition to be sure, but there are benefits. The first thing you need to keep in mind is that you need to set a goal. What do you hope to achieve by dating a stripper or porn star? A few nights out with a hottie on your arm? Sex? True Love?

Once you’ve determined what you want out of the relationship, take a look at our dos and don’t of dating a certified whore. If you don’t follow these points, you could be in for a world of hurt.

DO remember that you’re not special. This girl has 100′s of men to choose from per day, and it’s her job to make you feel like you’re the only man she’s interested in. So bear in mind that she’s playing the odds with you – but that you probably don’t have what it takes to keep up with her.

DON’T call her without announcing your name. Strippers and porn stars have cell phones full of men’s names and numbers, so remember to remind her of who you are, unless you like being embarrassed.

DO carry a lot of cash on you at all times. The sex industry is rich, and if you’re not willing to shell out, you’re dating the wrong kind of girl. In fact, it will probably take you a few dates before she fucks you, and you can expect those dates to cost you more than just renting a hooker.

DON’T ask her about her tattoos and fake tits unless you want to look like a wannabe, or worse yet, another one of her customers.

DO remember to confiscate the battery to her cell phone at some point during the evenings you’re out with her, or it will ring off the hook with other men who are interested in the exact same thing as you are. You don’t want to run the risk that one of them makes her a better offer before you’re finished your date.

DON’T go see her at work unless you have to. It’s best to avoid watching your girl taking off her clothes for other men – unless that’s something you’re into.

If you’ve come though these dos and don’ts undaunted, there may be hope for your love life with a sex worker yet. Remember though, unless you love competition, a normal girl is probably the way to go – as long as she likes it in the ass on a consistent basis.

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The ABCs of Stripping

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Stripping has come out of the closet and into the bedrooms of the mainstream. Stripping has begun to find its way into local exercise studios and even into our very own living rooms. So, why is that stripping has shed its former stereotypes? People have begun to realize that it’s sexy.

It isn’t rocket science, yet most people believe that the notion of stripping entails doing blow off a hard cock and end the show with a lesbian act. However, stripping can be as simple as dancing for your lover and taking off your clothes. Even wearing clothes that are sexier is an act of stripping, or burlesque if you will.

The art of the striptease has been around for a long time. Burlesque was once a humorous, theatrical form of entertainment which was comprised of taking off ones clothes. The modern day nude-bars take this entertainment to the next level, making it a hyper sexualized alternative.

The environment that stripping has been confined to has given it some nasty preconceived notions. The art of stripping itself is all about one of the sexiest traits of all – confidence. Nothing is sexier than a partner whom is self confident and not afraid to show it. Stripping has come out of the club and into the backyard of many, captivating us with the ability to harness our own sexual powers.

If you think you can’t, give yourself a slap on that fine ass of yours and think again. Its as easy as reciting your ABCs!

A – Attitude

A stripper has to have an attitude that makes the viewer feel like ripping their clothes off as well. You could be wearing a a paper bag and toilet paper, as long as you have a sexy style, your viewer will be dying for more.

B – Body

A lot of people have issues with their bodies – many say that it isn’t good enough to strip. You need to realize that your partner loves your body, and you should too. We all have certain insecurities that are almost always unwarranted. There is no reason you shouldn’t strive to be confident of your body, and want to strut your sexy ass.

C – Costume

Men like to see a little creative endeavor involving tits and ass any day of the week, and a costume can be one way of changing it up. A role like a nurse or french maid will make his cock so hard, and his pants will rip off from sheer sexiness. If you want to try something a little more original that caters to his tastes, he’ll be happy to come home and see you dressed up like his favorite tele-tubby.

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Facial Flashbacks: When Nice Girls Get Dirty

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

Have you ever sat down to watch a porn movie and wondered: why have I never fucked my girlfriend like the big boned stud on my computer screen? It’s a good question, and a scenario that most men experience at some point in their lives, especially when they want to embrace their sexuality in a full and fulfilling way. The trouble is, most North American men are stuck treating their partners as friends rather than lovers, and this sets a dangerous precedent in relationships.

The line between being friends and lovers is where facial cumshots come in. There’s no better way to let your partner know you’re serious about getting dirty than busting your load off over her waiting lips. Sure, there’s a measure of dominance and taboo associated with facials, but this is key: it keeps your sexual chemistry from fading, and adds an element of overt dirtiness to an otherwise vanilla relationship.

With this said, it’s important to keep your sexual identity separate from your day to day interactions with your partner. This will help you fuck like a porn star in the bedroom, and stay friends outside of it. Besides facials, try rimming your girl until she lets you stick your cock in her ass. Make sure you use lots of lube and get her moaning – there’s nothing like an anal orgasm to put the spice back in your jalapeno pepper.

So go forth and fuck like the dirty debutant you are! We all have a little Lexington Steele in us, and your relationship might depend on you letting your inner Lex out!

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