Furry Friends Not Always So Friendly

There is a whole contingent of people in the world who get off on dressing up in animal suits and rubbing their furry bodies against each other…unsurprisingly, they have been coined furries.

Sometimes the sex isn’t the endgame for these folks though, sometimes they just feel more comfortable moving through the world as animals than as people. For instance: Gary Guy Matthews the 46 year old jobless computer technician is a furry who dresses himself up as a dog named Boomer. He went so far as to legally request to change his name to “Boomer the Dog,” but got denied in his request because the judge claimed his name would cause confusion if he were ever to tell an emergency operator his name.

Yeah, because that’s the issue, your honor; it’s not that whoever arrives at said emergency scene will find a man in a dog costume right?

Good old Boomer hasn’t given up though, he still spends the majority of his life dressed up in his outfit and wandering around town.

Then, on the less innocent but somehow less creepy side of things, there are your every day pervert furries, like the Donald Duck actor who molested a woman at the Epcot center recently. Apparently Donald made a solid effort to grab her tits and then went with the classic “Whooooo Meeee?” pose.

Great plan my fine furred friend, don’t blame it on the awkward costume and accidental touching, just try and play it off like you’re a REAL cartoon duck, with a real cartoon sex addiction.

Groups of Furries get together all over the country for conventions where they arrive dressed as their animal of choice and spend the weekend in costume, interacting like members of some kind strange farm, like someone slipped LSD into the drinking water at Old MacDonald’s.

There are reports of things called Miffing piles too, where the furries get all their sexual tensions out by piling into a big ball of gyrating costumed weirdo and rub themselves against each other to climax. Basically a weird circus gangbang.

Fun Stuff. To each their own I guess!

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