There is stupid stupid, and there is “how the hell do you remember to blink” stupid. I don’t know who’s worse, the woman who claims that watching a “very realistic” 3D pornographic movie got her pregnant…or the husband who believes her.
So Jennifer, who’s a white American, went with her friends to a porno house in New York City, something she claims she’s never done before, and found herself “dizzy” a month later. She decided to get a pregnancy test and voila! the tests were positive.
OK here’s where the even more crazy comes hopping in. She gave birth to a little black baby and her husband, A WHITE guy serving in the military, believes her account is true!
“I see it as suspicious. The films in 3-D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible.” He said.
Are you fucking kidding me? Hey meathead?? Your wife is a whore who fucked some black dude while you were out risking your life for our liberties! Let me run down a few things that you and your trailer trash girlie-ho should’ve learned over the course of your adult years:
1. You can’t get pregnant from making out in the backseat of a car while wearing a bikini. This can LEAD to events that will indeed place an embryo in your uterus, but as long as it’s a petting fest…you’re ok.
2. You can’t get pregnant from swimming in a swimming pool with other pregnant people…or even from swimming in a swimming pool that has the misfortune of containing a bunch of floating ejaculate. I know…weird but true.
3. YOU CAN’T GET PREGNANT FROM WATCHING A PORN MOVIE. 3D OR OTHERWISE.
Jennifer admits her marriage could be in trouble. “Even though my husband believes in me, my marriage could be at risk. But he knows I’m faithful” she said.
If this isn’t the best example of the adage; “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it,” I don’t know what is. But it’s stuff like this that make me want to rip brainstems out of three quarters of the human race.
Cheerleaders. Mostly cheerleaders incidentally.