What’s so awesome about 3-D? Avatar, Up!, My Bloody Valentine (12 minute full frontal 3-D nudity no less!) and the upcoming Alice in Wonderland are a few ideas! So it only serves to purpose that porn, which has always led in regards to technology, would step up and take advantage of the newest cinematic craze!
On the other hand, what sucks about 3-D?
Wasting the technology on completely contrived 3-D tricks. “Let me just grab this shovel here and….whoaaa the end is so heavy I need to stick it out in front of me for no apparent reason. Whoaaaaa lookit the neato 3-D!”
I hate that. It’s a mood killer and can easily take me out of the moment in a snap. Luckily film-makers are getting better about it and becoming more interested in using it as a story telling tool rather than a special effect.
Hopefully if 3-D makes it past the “it’s a phase” phase in movies, things will follow suit in adult film.
Case in point: Octopussy 3-D. Now I can’t speak as a reviewer having seen the film, for I have not. I did however check out the trailer, wearing the red & blue’s that bring classics to mind like Creature from the Black Lagoon and House of Wax. And maybe that’s its first problem; using a technology that we associate with older movies, when all the new ones utilize those clear, Ray-Ban looking things. The only 3-D they show are when James “Bone” or the myriad of female fuck leads, throw something notable at the camera. These are ridiculous parlor tricks.
My thought is that Funky Monkey, the production company that made the flick, tried to get this out as soon as possible, since other people have gone on record as wanting to put out the “first 3-D porn!” Quentin Tarrantino spoke those words first in 2007, but you can never tell when that guy is being serious. Hong Kong filmaker Stephen Shiu announced that he would be making “the world’s first pornographic movie in 3D,” a $4 million flick titled “3D Sex and Zen.” But Shiu doesn’t even plan on shooting the film until April.
But my money is on Tinto Brass, director of the historic and often cited “Caligula,” the controversial 1979 film starring Malcolm McDowell as the title character, John Gielgud, Peter O’Toole and Helen Mirren. It is considered to be the first major motion picture to feature eminent film actors in a film containing explicit sex scenes.
Brass plans to begin shooting his remake next month.
Admittedly I am a big fan of “Caligula,” but my loyalty comes from a financial standpoint rather than creative. Regardless of what he does, Brass will throw more money at his film than a tradition porn company would, and every one knows about my longing for more big budget porn. One day all porn cliches will be a thing of the past and most acting performances will not be cringe worthy! Dream with me, won’t you?
Until then, you can see Octopussy 3-D when it comes out March 2010.
Tags: adult film, Porn